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Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-02-25
Submitted As Requested
Dear DOGE Director Musk, Here is my list that answers your question, "What did you do last week?" which you now require of every man, woman and child in this country: Monday 6:30am – 6:45am Wake up, stretch, take dog out to pee 6:45am – 7:00am Breakfast, open computer, catch up on news 7:00am – 12pm Call you a dick. A big dick, a little dick, a morbidly-obese dick, a dick that makes all the other dicks feel embarrassed that you're one of them, a shitty dick, an evil dick, a clueless dick, a flaccid dick, a dick who swings around a chainsaw like a dick who's never held one in his stupid f*cking dick life, a dick who laughs like an asthmatic hyena, a backstabbing dick, a Nazi dick... 12pm – 1:00pm Lunch 1:00pm – 6pm ...a gaslighting dick, a heartless dick, a dick whose cars blow up even more than the Pintos did, an illegal immigrant dick (which you are), a dick who takes credit for smart people's work, an aging bloated dick who thinks he's cool because he creepily hangs around teenagers for validation of his masculinity, a conniving dick, a disloyal dick, a dick whose kids hate him, a First Amendment hypocrite dick, and a dick who looks in the mirror and privately admits that he, too, sees himself as a dick—a dickety dick dick dick dick dick. 6:00pm – 7:00pm Dinner 7:00pm – 11:00pm All of the above except directed at your impotent face-painted dick "boss" whom you pretend to like because you know he's the closest you'll ever get to the presidency and we all know it eats you up inside, you dick of all dicks. 11:00pm Bedtime. Dream about calling the entire MAGA movement democracy-hating dicks who can suck my...well, I’ll put that in my next report. Repeat the above as an accounting of my activities from Tuesday through Friday. Sincerely, Billy in the Federal Department of Good Luck Finding Me Or My Office P.S. I'd like a raise.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 25, 2025
Note: Today at A&P, buy a carton of our fresh, juicy strawberries and receive 50 percent off a can of nuclear fissile material in heavy cling syrup. Piggly Wiggly: Quality you can count on, at a price you can afford, from neighbors you probably shouldn't entirely trust.
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By the Numbers:
4 days!!!
Days 'til International Polar Bear Day: 2
Days 'til Colorado's Mumbo Jumbo Gumbo Cook-off in Manitou Springs: 4
Number of decisions that the Trump-Musk administration has made over the last month that have benefited the American people: 0
Number that have not: 4,546
Percent of Americans polled by The Washington Post-Ipsos who approve of Trump's blanket pardon of the Jan. 6 insurrectionists: 14%
Percent of Americans who identify as LGBTQ, according to new Gallup polling: 9.3%
Number of body parts that don't contain blood vessels: 2 (Cornea, cartilage)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Theft in progress…
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CHEERS to tapping the brakes on the Fourth Reich. Germany’s rising Nazi-lite AfD party will be denied a seat at the table as the remaining parties who ran in Sunday’s elections coalesce and shut them out. meanwhile, the CDU party's Friedrich Merz will soon become Germany’s new center-right chancellor. And what do we know about Herr Merz (not to be confused with I Love Lucy’s Fred Mertz)? I dunno. I let Wikipedia investigate these things:
» Born in 1955 in Brilon, then-"West" Germany, which was always the Germany Mom liked best. » Attended the University of Bonn and the University of Marburg and became a lawyer. Did lawyer stuff for a while, then judge stuff, then went back to lawyer stuff. Mid ‘80s Friedrich Marz gives off a Beto O’Rourke vibe. » Catholic. » Licensed pilot who sometimes flies to work in Berlin on Monday morning. » Served as a member of the European Parliament from 1989 to 1994 and a member of the Deutsche Bundestag from 1994 to 2009. Went into private business in 2009. Became chairman of the Christian Democratic Union (CDU) in 2022. » Member of the CDU, whose previous chancellors include Konrad Adenaur, Helmut Kohl, and Angela Merkel (with whom he frequently clashed). » Describes himself as socially conservative and economically liberal. Not a fan of immigrants except for the ones who are highly skilled, who he considers just peachy. Big supporter of the EU and NATO, but with Trump in power he doesn’t trust the U.S. as far as he can throw us. Total support for Ukraine. » Enjoys long walks in the biergarten with wife Charlotte, a judge. Three kids.
His style has been referred to as “not to avoid confrontation at all costs, [but that] a certain amount of provocation can set off a real debate and perhaps a real development in motion.” Good to know, said Poland.
CHEERS to ideas that will change the world. Just a quick reminder that there's a big Netroots Nation deadline coming up. If you have an idea for a panel or workshop that you want to propose and coordinate for this year's convention (August 7-9—New Orleans), just click here for the guidelines and submission form. Says Mary Rickles:
As always, we'll cover a breadth of critical issues important to progressives, but this year's event will have a heavy focus on resistance and building power. You can submit on any issue, but we encourage you to think about your proposal through this lens: Defense: How do we block Trump's worst impulses and protect vulnerable communities on the frontlines of the administration's attacks?
How do we block Trump's worst impulses and protect vulnerable communities on the frontlines of the administration's attacks? Offense: How do we build power and strengthen our movements as we work toward creating a more equal and just world? We also want to shine a light on what's happening in our host city of New Orleans, so we encourage you to consider including a local speaker in your proposal.
Entries will be accepted through March 5th. As soon as the final panels and training sessions are announced, we'll grab our Billyhorn and shout them out one at a time from the roof of our house. Or, if the neighbors get the cease-and-desist order in time, we'll just post them here instead.
CHEERS to being a fly on the wall. One can only imagine what really happened on February 25, 1793, when George Washington held his first cabinet meeting at his estate at Mount Vernon. But one thing is certain: Hamilton was convinced that Jefferson's mother wore combat boots, and Jefferson was positive that Hamilton would be best served by irrigating his nose with a rubber hose. I believe the president sent them both to bed without supper.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to the mighty Wurlitzer of war. Yours truly was dropped from the womb onto my head while Mom was prying open another bottle of Schlitz and lighting up a King Size Kent in the delivery room on August 5, 1964. In the 60 years since, three things have been a constant in my life: technological advances for ever-more-nefarious purposes, deliberate destruction of the planet, and war. Lots and lots of war. Among the conflicts the U.S. military-industrial complex and cheerleading lapdog media have been involved in during my life:
Vietnam (1964-1975)…Cambodia (1967-1975)…Lebanon (1982-1984)…Grenada (Yes, Grenada. 1983)…Iran (1987-88)…Panama (Yes, Panama. 1989-90)…First Gulf War (1990-1991)…Bosnia/Herzegovina/Croatia/Kosovo (1992-1995)…Afghanistan (2001-2021)…Iraq War (2003-2011)…Yemen (2002-2021).
And so on. Only two commanders-in-chief among the eleven who presided in my lifetime can truly be called a peacetime president. Joe Biden is one. The late Jimmy Carter is the other. As far as I'm concerned, he's the only one, besides Joe, who has any room to speak on Russia's invasion of Ukraine, which he did two years ago (via The Carter Center) and I think it’s worth reposting as we enter year three of Putin’s latest terrorist attack on that peaceful nation:
The Carter Center condemns Russian President Vladimir Putin’s decision to send troops into the sovereign nation of Ukraine, a clear violation of international law and the human rights of the Ukrainian people. We call on Russia to immediately withdraw its forces and engage with Ukraine’s leaders and the international community to find a diplomatic solution to the crisis. The Peace President. Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and Putin’s recognition of two areas of Ukraine as independent states undermines fundamental democratic principles and exacerbates a humanitarian crisis that began with its annexation of Crimea in 2014. Conflict caused by Russian-backed separatists has already led to some 14,000 deaths and forced an estimated 1.6 million Ukrainians from their homes. We stand in solidarity with the people of Ukraine, who in recent years have made great strides in strengthening their democracy and institutions, and who have the right to live free from violence and to chart their own future.
What he said.
CHEERS to today’s edition of Oh My God They Finally Used The “L” Word! Via BlueSky:
x It took ten years, but the NYT finally got there — Seth Abramson (@sethabramson.bsky.social) 2025-02-23T19:33:25.379Z
This has been today’s edition of Oh My God They Finally Used The “L” Word!.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 25, 2015
CHEERS to vetting our vittles. In yet another victory for First Lady Michelle Obama's vicious crusade to put the freedom-loving plus-size apparel industry out of business, a top government advisory panel has launched an attack on misinformation by updating the nation's eating guidelines. Among the job-killing tyranny they're trying to shove down our throats: less meat, way the hell less sugar, eggs are okay now, but you still gotta eat 180 servings of freaking veggies. To get Republicans to participate in the new initiative, junk food will be labeled "Barack Hussein Obama Wants You To Eat This," and the healthy foods will be labeled, "Barack Hussein Obama Doesn’t Want You To Eat This." Too easy.
[2/25/25 Update: New HHS director RFK Brainworm wants to do the exact same things that Michelle Obama did 10 years ago. But because he's a MAGA cultist, the right-wing kooks are suddenly all on board with healthy stuff. Vive la hypocrisy.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Deep Thoughts...by Jack Handey. Like Stephen Wright, he can cram more beautiful, bizarre absurdity into a sentence or two than most people can in a thousand. His books, which I've dog-eared to death, have a place of honor on my bookshelf. Without further ado, here are a few of our favorite Deep Thoughts to celebrate Jack’s 76th birthday:
» Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. » For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness. » I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas. Happy birthday, Jack. » If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." » I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching. » Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why several of us died of tuberculosis. » I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not. » If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been.
Have a deep Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “The nurse was just talking to him while checking his vitals, and he started laughing so hard. She wasn’t even trying to be funny. He was just tickled by Cheers and Jeers.” —Kailynn Kelly
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