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Donald's Loopy Nobel Dream [1]

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Date: 2025-02-22

Donald Trump believes settling the Ukraine war will win him a Nobel Peace Prize. That’s preposterous, of course, so much so that it’s easy to discard the importance that Donald believes this. Every pro-Ukraine actor, notably Macron and Starmer this week, needs to keep this in mind. No doubt Russia reminds Donald of the Nobel.

Of course Donald has recited talking points fed by Russia for years, and a Mafia-style extortion of Ukraine’s mineral rights is also very much his MO. The Peace Prize isn’t the only thing weighing on him. But it absolutely is on his mind.For one thing, his toady said as much at CPAC: National security adviser believes Trump will be awarded Nobel peace price

“This is the presidency of peace. He’s going to end the war in Europe. He is going to end the wars in the Middle East. He is going to reinvest the United States and our leadership in our own hemisphere, from the Arctic to the border to Panama all the way down to our good friends in Argentina,” Waltz told the Conservative Political Action Conference. “And you know what? By the end of this all, we’re going to have the Nobel peace prize sitting next to the name of Donald J Trump. And who opposes peace? Like, I mean, how do the Democrats oppose peace?”

Leave aside the stupidity of the statement; the Nobel committee doesn’t give out a last-place award. You think Walz pulled the Nobel idea out of his ass? Are prizes for statesmanship a normal area of focus for the 2025 vintage GOP? Walz is obviously reflecting what Donald talks about.

But there are less direct ways to do the math. Trump is famously obsessed with his inability to measure up to Barack Obama. Throughout the 2024 campaign he talked of ending the war on day 1, speaking in sweeping terms of war’s awful consequences for both sides. When else has this man cared a flying damn about war’s consequences on anyone but himself? He’s openly contemptuous of his own country’s troops, for fuck’s sake!

And then on top of such “heartfelt humanitarian concern” in his language, there’s this wild sense of urgency. Have to meet with Putin right away! Time is of the essence! We’ve got to stop the war!” (Again, the chance this urgency is driven by concern about others’ suffering is roughly zero, maybe a bit less.)

Of course the Nobel committee isn’t giving awards for helping Russia take someone’s land, nor for shaking down an “ally” for half a trillion dollars. But the president is an imbecile, living in a bubble of disinformation to boot. I’m roughly ten thousand percent certain Putin and Lavrov are planting this idiocy: “Donald, if you pressure them to end the war, you could win the Nobel. Donald, the faster you get everyone to accept the annexed land as Russian, which we know is only fair, the faster you get your Nobel. Voting has to be done before October!”

If Russia can manipulate this master dealmaker, why can’t the good guys? He loves meeting with world leaders and Macron is one of the few who’s mastered Trump’s weird dominance games. So give it to him straight, sorta. “Donald, if Ukraine doesn’t get their land back, the Nobel’s off the table.” This is true. Leave off the part about how hell will freeze over before he wins this award regardless, of course.

If our foreign policy is set by such a stupid, vain, ignorant, transparent, gullible man, then it’s incumbent on the more honorable Western leaders to use every tool available to manipulate him to the side of justice.

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