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Cheers and Jeers: Monday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-02-17
Happy Presidents' Day
Woo hoo! I've got my Millard Fillmore tree set up, Andy Williams' classic It's the Most Executive Branchful Time of the Year is playing on the Victrola, and all my coupons are clipped for BIG Pre$ident$' Day $ale-a-bration $aving$ on every mattre$$ in the $tore! Here's your annual quiz:
1. Which president was once a carnival barker at a wheel-of-fortune booth?
A) Ford B) Hoover C) Nixon D) Obama 2. Which presidential candidate’s supporters rolled giant balls measuring 10-feet wide through the streets as a campaign gimmick?
A) W.H. Harrison B) Hayes C) Jackson D) Kennedy 3. Which president, while touring Andrew Jackson’s estate, was served coffee brewed at Nashville’s Maxwell House Hotel and allegedly coined the phrase, “Good to the last drop”?
A) Coolidge B) T. Roosevelt C) Garfield D) George H.W. Bush Biden needs to be added to this. His predecessor and successor will go on a plate of convicted felons. 4. Who said the following when someone first suggested he run for president: “Stop your nonsense and drink your whiskey”?
A) Jefferson B) Hoover C) Cleveland D) Zachary Taylor 5. Who was the only president to play professional baseball (under an assumed name to prevent being disqualified from college athletics)?
A) L. Johnson B) Eisenhower C) Kennedy D) Ford 6. Who was president when a piano on the second floor of the White House started falling through the floor?
A) Garfield B) Carter C) Truman D) Polk 7. Whose handshake was compared to "a wilted petunia?"
A) Reagan B) George W. Bush C) J.Q. Adams D) B. Harrison 8. Which president signed the pardon of Confederate traitor Robert E. Lee? A) Ford B) Trump C) A. Johnson D) Grant 9. President Lyndon Johnson complained over the phone that "the crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight, they cut me. It’s just like riding a wire fence." Who was he talking to?
A) An executive at Haggar Clothing B) Bill Blass C) Lady Bird D) Charles de Gaulle
Answers: C, A, B, D, B, C, D, A, A.
Scoring: 9 = You're presidential material! 0-8 = Oh, let's not dwell on the mistakes of the past, let's look to the future for the sake of our children.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 17, 2025
Note: Today is Random Act of Kindness Day. I just bought one of my squirrels a BMW. Does that count?
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By the Numbers:
10 days, ayuh!!!
Days 'til International Polar Bear Day: 10
Days 'til The 50th Maine Fishermen's Forum in Rockland: 10
Number of flu hospitalizations for every 100,000 people so far this season, according to the CDC: 64
Number of Covid hospitalizations for the same period (a year ago Covid admissions were 2.4 times higher than flu admissions): 44
Percent chance that the National Park Service was ordered by Donald Trump to take the "T" out of all LGBTQ references at the Stonewall Inn National Monument, despite indispensable participation in the 1969 riots by trans protesters: 100%
Drop in retail sales in January, due in part to revulsion at the arrival of the Trump administration: 0.9%
Number of its 800 stores Joann Fabrics and Crafts plans to close, thanks to no one wanting to do things with fabrics or crafts anymore because we're now ruled by evil fascists: 500
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Cuddling puppies is just good science, people…
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CHEERS to pleasant surprises. It was supposed to be a Saturday morning like any other: wake up, make a No-Doz smoothie (toss one can of Mountain Dew and six No-Doz caplets into a blender, whip, stir, add one boysenberry, puree, pour into LL Bean boot with two grams of cocaine and enjoy), yell at the Airbnbers across the street for parking like shit, feed the squirrels, feed the squirrels, feed the squirrels, shovel some coal into the furnace, break into the stockroom down at the corner café to steal some eggs for breakfast, fire up the laptop, check AOL to see if "You've got mail!", click on the NBC News page to see what horrors befell us overnight, and…whaaaaat??? Hey, looka this....
Abortions are set to resume in Missouri after a judge blocked regulations that had restricted providers even after voters approved enshrining abortion rights into the state’s constitution. Big win for Team 3. Friday’s ruling came after a Kansas City judge ruled last year that abortions were now legal in the state but kept certain regulations on the books while a lawsuit by abortion-rights advocates played out. Voters approved the measure adding abortion rights to the constitution in November. That amendment did not legalize abortion in the state outright but instead required judges to reconsider laws that had almost completely banned the procedure. … Margot Riphagen, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood Great Rivers, said the group is working quickly to start providing the procedure again in the coming days.
Why, I'd call that…a pleasant surprise!!!
CHEERS to "roll"-ing up the bad guys. Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that our customs agents under the watchful scowl of the current presidency have finally managed to do something that doesn't involve destroying families:
Thousands of counterfeit Forever Stamps were seized at the Chicago International Mail Branch last weekend, the U.S. Customs and Border Protections announced Thursday. Coming next month! The federal agency said it stopped eight shipments from China containing 161,860 counterfeit stamps. The stamps were seized for violating trademark laws and deemed fake "based on the very low invoice value, the routing, and the extraordinary efforts undertaken to conceal the stamps."
I guess you could say those stamp thieves got…canceled.
CHEERS to legal libations. On this date in 1933, the U.S. Senate passed the Blaine Act, which effectively ended prohibition. Who says Christmas comes in December?
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to the preparing for The Apostrolypse. To help solve the mystery of how, exactly, one punctuates today's holiday, over the weekend I performed my annual ritual of consulting the ads and assorted banners appearing in The Portland (Maine) Press Herald and online to get some clarity. This year's batch:
Engadget: President's Day People: Presidents Day Hannaford Supermarkets: Presidents' Day USA Today Finance: President's Day and Presidents Day CNN: Presidents Day Overstock.com: Presidents' Day (last year it was Presidents Day) Hub Furniture: Presidents' Day (last year it was Presidents Day) Ugh... Maxim: President's Day Home Depot: Presidents' Day Rolling Stone: President's Day LaZBoy: Presidents Day and Presidents’ Day Travel & Leisure: Presidents Day Our 2025 “12 Months of Squirrels” Wall Calendar: President's Day
We trust this clears up any confusion for at least another year.
CHEERS to unleashing the romantic within. My credit card isn't happy with me this morning, because Friday I went all-out for my sweetie Michael on Valentine's Day. First I gave him the latest miracle weight loss plan. Then I got him a box of Hair Club for Men and lifts for his shoes. Then a cordless nose-hair trimmer. And finally, new vacuum cleaner bags and a lifetime supply of Windex. I know you're jonesin' to know how much he loved them. I'm jonesin' to tell ya! And I'll be sure to let you know just as soon as he lets me out of this crawlspace. (Y'know, with a little ketchup these cockroaches wouldn't taste half bad...)
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 17, 2015
JEERS to having energy to burn. In addition to the five oil- and gas-related explosions in the last month or so, you can add these to the list:
[In West Virginia], Photos from the scene have shown thick, black smoke and fireballs shooting hundreds of feet into the sky. “At least one, possibly more, rail cars have gone into the Kanawha River,” Messina said. […] [And] Canadian National Railway Co. shut its main line linking western and eastern Canada after an eastbound train carrying crude oil derailed in Ontario. … A total of 29 cars were involved in the incident and seven caught fire. The remaining 71 cars were moved from the site, Waldron said. Some oil was spilled.
Officials say they're completely prepared for disasters like this. Teams in hard hats were immediately dispatched to the scene, and a spokesman says they've been pointing, scratching their chins and making frowny faces for several hours now.
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And just one more…
Due to the Presidents' Day holiday, And Just One More has the day off. In its place, please enjoy our annual moment with Grace Coolidge cuddling the First Family’s beloved pet raccoon Rebecca:
We regret yet another inconvenience.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial A humpback whale appeared to "swallow" Bill in Portland Maine and spit him out in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool in a dramatic incident that was caught on camera. —USA Today
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[END]
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