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This Valentine's Day [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-02-14
Today is Valentine's Day. My Valentine is currently under the bed taking a nap. Pixie has four paws and a tail and a real catitude.
I was a caregiver for my brother Reid for 12 years. I brought him out from California. He had neglected his health and was only 98 pounds. I got his weight up to 135 which was a healthy weight for him.
I got him to medical appointments. Because of his previous neglect of his health he ended up losing both legs to diabetes complications.
I have always tried to cook healthy. When he was with me I learned to cook diabetic healthy food as well as heart healthy since we lost both of our parents to heart attacks.
Being a caregiver is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Having a noncompliant patient makes it even harder. His doctor once told him, "I don't think you realize how much of an angel she is."
I added 12 years to his life. It wasn't easy and it was a constant battle. He was in and out of hospitals frequently. Finally his body just gave up. I spent 8 hours holding his hand while he passed away because I promised I wouldn't leave him. He was unconscious and wouldn't know if I was there or not but I would.
When your patient dies is when the self doubt starts. Did I do everything I could? Was there something I could have done differently? Should I have tried this or that? What could I have done to make them live?
This Valentine's Day give yourself a valentine. Recognize you did everything you could. You couldn't save them. You are only given so many rabbits to pull out of the hat. You did the best you could. Give yourself an "atta person." You did your best. You made their life better. Reid had 12 years more of life because I was willing to be his caregiver. That is all I could reasonably ask for on this Valentine's Day.
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