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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-02-12
"An asshole's always an asshole. Keep pissin' him off…"
We've been bumping into some fine nostalgia during our recent forays in the C&J wayback machine circa 2017. Back when Samantha Bee was hosting Full Frontal (would somebody please give her a new show already?), she sent a correspondent to look at how the Scots living near the golf course in Aberdeenshire belonging to Lord Dampnut ("I love the Scotch. I’m Scotch myself.”) mocked, obstructed and trolled the hell out of him.
It's a lovely reminder of the power of mockery as resistance.
Warning: Not safe for sensitive souls whose heads explode upon hearing cuss words—and there are some amaaazing Scottish cuss words in here:
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And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, February 12, 2025
Note: This note is a non-fungible token. Since you have read this far, you now own it. Please send me $1 million in tens and twenties, please. You have made the wisest of purchases. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
8 days!! (I call dibs on the 3rd thresher from the left.)
Days 'til spring: 36
Days 'til the New York Farm Show in Syracuse: 8
Percent chance that a judge has extended his pause on Elon Musk's federal buyout scam: 100%
Current U.S. unemployment rate: 4%
Number of BlueSky users as of last week: 30 million
Percent chance that Goldman Sachs, Costco, and JPMorgan Chase plan to drop their DEI programs: 0%
Percent of annual flower sales that happen on Valentine's Day, which is Friday: 30%
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 181 (including 3 Satanisms and 1 crucifix that occasionally needs a little WD-40). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: And the Westminster Best in Show winner is…
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CHEERS to checking in on our neighbors. I have a good idea—we haven't checked in with our planet mates in a while, so let's take a moment and see how they're doing before the day gets too hectic:
Pluto "Doing fine, and glad we're the farthest one away from you." Neptune "All is well, Earthlings. Also f*ck you, you embarrassment to our solar system." They’re all laughing at us. Uranus "Ha ha ha!!! We still can't stop laughing at all those "your anus" jokes. So freakin' clever, you guys!" Saturn "Still running rings around your sorry asses." Jupiter "Y’know, the Jupiterian we just elected as our new leader was going to annex your planet. Then its eye tentacle saw who you elected as your new leader and said screw that, those Earthlings are nuts.” Mars "Still red with embarrassment over having to live next to you. The rovers are cute, though." Venus "Not bad, thanks. Just a little gassy." Mercury "You created a brand of planet-killing driving machines after us? Gee, you shouldn't have. Really. (But we admit the Grand Marquis was a pretty smooth ride.)"
On second thought, maybe that was a bad idea.
CHEERS to #16. Happy birthday to Abe Lincoln, who turns 216 today. It's no surprise that he's considered by many to be our greatest president, including the 721 historians and political scientists who contributed their opinions to the book, Rating the Presidents:
Our poll rates the category of Lincoln's Character and Integrity the highest of any president's. Lincoln was goth emo before goth emo was cool. The poll also lauds his appointments. ... His steady leadership, rated second among presidents [after FDR], kept the Union cause alive during the Civil War's darkest days for the Union. Our experts describe this with remarks like "took America through its greatest crisis," "great moral leader," [and] "had broad strategic vision and a poet's wisdom." … He possessed qualities of kindness and compassion. Lincoln also had the wisdom of magnanimousness in victory, especially needed for the national healing after the Civil War. Many of the men reaching the august office of the presidency have lacked these simple but uncommon virtues, which play so important a part in governing a nation.
And he had a few choice words that seem aimed directly at the twice-impeached, disgraced leader of the red-hatted cultists:
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." "He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met." "How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."
Pay your respects here. Today is also the 216th birthday of evolution guy Charles Darwin—aka Darwin Day. The creationism crowd, which spends most of its time mocking the idea that we evolved from chimpanzees, will spend their day the usual way: flinging poo and picking fleas out of each other's hair.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x 1972. The “I love you” at the end gets me every time… — Rex Chapman (@rexchapman.bsky.social) 2025-02-08T22:23:31.105Z
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to caffeine in the clear. During this week in 1992, a study suggested that drinking three cups of coffee a day does not raise the risk of heart disease. But it does raise your risk of peeing like a racehorse every 5 minutes.
CHEERS to good news to be spread throughout the land!!! I went to all the news sites yesterday looking for something positive, and I found one! NBC News gets the gold star for posting a breaking news hot-off-the-press (kids, ask your parents) development that's fresh and clean and, well, enough to make you smile:
Colgate developed its new Total Active Prevention System, a collection of products that work together to clean teeth, prevent cavities, kill bacteria and freshen breath. Colgate’s Total Active Prevention System includes a manual toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash. As far as cleaning goes, this toothpaste is highly effective. The head of this manual toothbrush has over 5,000 high-density bristles that break up plaque buildup and polish away stains. … “I love how fresh and clean this mouthwash makes my mouth feel, especially without the burning sensation I usually get from other ones,”
Sadly, there's nothing in the new system to prevent societal decay. But keep up the R&D, Colgate. I hear Crest is gettin' awful close.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 12, 2015
CHEERS to the right boycott at the right time. Bernie Sanders gets the win for being the first senator to announce that he won’t be attending the March 3 address to Congress—arranged by John Boehner without White House approval—by Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu. Due to a special arrangement with a certain lever-puller in the sky, all the time that Bibi—backed by John McCain and the PNAC Rhythm Cloggers singing their #1 hit "Bomb Bomb Iran"—spends blither-blathering about nuclear destruction won’t be deducted from Bernie's lifespan. (And all the senators who do attend will itch for several days, but don’t say that out loud, it's a surprise.)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to green cheese at midnight. Hey, here's some more great news! As of this morning, the Department of DOGE hasn't figured out yet how to shut off tonight's full moon. That means it'll appear as scheduled, and isn’t that just the greatest??? Via The Old Farmer's Almanac:
[F]or the best view of this Moon, look for it starting the night before or later on Wednesday; it will drift above the horizon in the east around sunset and reach its highest point in the sky around midnight. Snow moon seen from the ISS. The explanation behind February’s full Moon name is a fairly straightforward one: it’s known as the Snow Moon due to the typically heavy snowfall that occurs in February. On average, February is the United States’ snowiest month, according to data from the National Weather Service. In the 1760s, Captain Jonathan Carver, who had visited with the Naudowessie (Dakota), wrote that the name used for this period was the Snow Moon, “because more snow commonly falls during this month than any other in the winter.” […] Another theme of this month’s Moon names is scarcity. The Cherokee names of Month of the Bony Moon and Hungry Moon give evidence to the fact that food was hard to come by at this time.
For tonight’s event they should rename it the Carton of Eggs Moon.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Bill in Portland Maine's hair and makeup channels Old Hollywood glamour, but his jagged black tips on his "Russian stiletto" manicure, achieved by nail artist and OPI ambassador Coco Michelle, is way ahead of its time. —People
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[END]
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