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Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-02-11
Right-wing Riddles (Knee Slappin’ Good!)
Q What do you call Republicans who believe that federal law trumps state law, state law trumps city law, but state law and city law trump federal law when it's a federal law they don’t agree with but only during Democratic administrations? A Perfectly rational. - Q What do Republicans call a gay guy who's a Republican? A The invisible man. - Q What did RFK Jr. say to his brain worm? A Should we give everyone polio, or just the kids? - Q What do you call Americans protesting for a livable wage? A All the reason we need to give police departments more tanks. - Q What do a lollipop and a corporation that pays its taxes have in common? A They're both suckers. - Q What do you call Putin-Jong Un 2028? A A dream ticket. - Q Knock Knock. A [Blam! Blam! Blam!] Who's there and why are you bleeding all over my welcome mat? - Q What word do MAGA followers and the coal industry have in common? A "Mine!" - Q What do you say when you publicly rail against government spending while grabbing as much government money as possible? A "Nothing to see here, please move along."
Thank you, thank you. Remember: don’t try the veal because it’s no longer inspected, and don’t tip your server because all that does is encourage their pursuit of happiness.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 11, 2025
Note: Friday is Valentine's Day. The National Flying Stick With A Sharp Tip Association reminds you that the only way to stop a bad Cupid with an arrow is a good Cupid with an arrow. You're welcome.
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By the Numbers:
4 days!!!
Days 'til Susan B. Anthony Day: 4
Days 'til the Asian American Expo in La Verne, California: 4
Amount California has set aside to fight legal battles against the federal government's attacks on the state's immigration policies: $25 million
Additional amount set aside for legal groups to defend immigrants facing possible deportation: $25 million
Percent of Americans polled by CBS News who support a U.S. takeover of Gaza: 13%
Percent of single Americans under 30 who use dating apps/sites: 53%
Amount of snow that fell on Portland, Maine Sunday morning: 10”
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Puppy Pic of the Day: So far Teddy has sniffed out DVDs of Gigli and Heaven's Gate, and a VHS copy of Ishtar…
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CHEERS to a helluva run. Well, this is it kids—the final jobs report under the watch of President Joe Biden. The Labor Department released their January employment report Friday morning: 143,000 new jobs, an entire presidential term of monthly job growth, nearly 17 million jobs created over four years, and wages rose. Bill McBride's always-helpful analysis is here at Calculated Risk:
Through January 2025, the employment report indicated positive job growth for 49 consecutive months, putting the current streak in 2nd place of the longest job streaks in US history (since 1939). This streak survived the annual benchmark revision. […] Dark Brandon delivered. The headline jobs number in the January employment report was below expectations, however, November and December payrolls were revised up by 100,000 combined. The participation rate and the employment population ratio increased, and the unemployment rate decreased to 4.0%. Another decent employment report.
One last time, fill your lungs with air and let him hear it even from the cheap seats: ”Thanks, Joe!”
JEERS to letters from the fascism mailbag. Not exactly going out on a limb here to suggest that Senator Elizabeth Warren is not going to be happy about this:
Dear Consumers in need of financial protection, We have exciting news! This week the bureau that protects your finances from fraud and abuse will no longer be protecting your finances from fraud and abuse or anything else. You love this decision! You desire this decision! You will dance in the streets out of happiness over this decision! We know what is best for you, and the best is nothing! Have a nice day, Russ Vought The Head of the Consumer Protection Thingy P.S. If your finances are the victim of fraud or abuse, please write an angry letter to your nearest newspaper. Who knows, it might get published! [Sent from my golfcart]
Everyone sing along: Hello, mattress, my old friend. I've come to stack Franklins under you again...
CHEERS to doc-in-a-box. On this date in 1752, the first hospital in the U.S. opened in Pennsylvania. Back then it was pretty simple: first they bled you of your precious bodily fluids and then you died. Today it's a little different: first your insurance company bleeds you of your precious financial assets, then they deny you care, and then you die. Progress!
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to ideas that will change the world. Just a quick reminder that there's a big Netroots Nation deadline coming up. If you have an idea for a panel or workshop that you want to propose and coordinate for this year's convention (August 7-9—New Orleans), just click here for the guidelines and submission form. Entries will be accepted through March 5th. To avoid the embarrassment of duplication, please note that someone has already sent in a proposal for a panel called "How to Avoid the Embarrassment of Duplication." Unfortunately, due to a technical snafu, it was emailed a thousand times.
CHEERS to the guy who really was the brightest bulb in the box. Happy 178th Birthday—and many blessings on your tungsten filaments—to fellow Ohio native Thomas Edison. He invented the light bulb, the phonograph, the Snuggie and the ShamWOW! (the last two during his slow descent into madness). Pay your respects here. Today is also Sarah Palin's birthday—she turns 61. Or as she likes to put it: just another orbit of the sun around the earth.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 11, 2015
CHEERS to eine kleine Besuchtigungenheiteschmergesichterbaumittelspiele. In German that means "A little chat" (and in Scrabble that means about eight million points). Two of the world's biggest political rock stars got together yesterday when President Obama welcomed German Chancellor Angela Merkel to the White House:
"Germany is one of our strongest allies, so whenever we meet, it's an opportunity to coordinate closely on a whole range of issues critical to our shared security and prosperity," President Obama said in a joint press conference. In addition to their discussions on economic growth, international trade, and climate change, President Obama and Chancellor Merkel's meeting was dominated by two particular issues: Russia's aggression against Ukraine, and the fight against ISIL.
In a sign of true friendship, they both promised to tell their spy agencies to quit eavesdropping on their private conversations. This was immediately followed by some sort of winking ritual.
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And just one more…
JEERS to the Edsel of House committees. True fact: if you're in Washington and you visit the dumpster next to the House parking lot, you'll still see smoke wafting up from the remnants of Trey Gowdy's (real name: Harold Watson Gowdy III) Benghazi investigation. I think it's worth reminding the world that eleven years ago today, the non-scandal that Republicans and Fox News branded "worse than Watergate" jumped the shark:
In a new report released on Tuesday, the House Armed Services Committee concludes that there was no way for the U.S. military to have responded in time to the 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya to save the four Americans killed that night. Her other hand was tied behind her back to make it a fair fight. In doing so, the report debunks entirely a right-wing myth that says the White House ordered the military not to intervene. […] Fox News cited reports of a stand-down order no fewer than 85 times during prime-time segments as of June 2013. As the new report—which the Republican majority of the committee authored—makes very clear in its findings, however, no such order ever existed.
Today, when he’s not yakking on Fox News, the only reports you’ll see Gowdy writing are the employee reviews down at the Pawpatch County Burger King. ("Gary still struggling with fry vat. Will scream harder at him to improve performance.")
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “I don’t like the turbulence. I don’t like the chaos in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool.” —Paul Bisson
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[END]
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