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“Not Another Shekel, Not Another Dime” for AIPAC Amy’s ’28 POTUS Run [1]

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Date: 2025-02-03

Minnesota Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar sure seems to be making the rounds in the media lately, doesn’t she? “Fee Fie Foe Fum! I smell a ’28 POTUS Run!”

I have two confessions to make.

First confession: it’s all my fault that peace and human rights advocates across the United States and around the world call her “AIPAC Amy.” That was my Brilliant Idea. Feel free to use it. “For you, habibi, no charge.”

Second confession: if we put the “AIPAC issues” to the side - don’t worry, habibi, we’ll turn to that in a moment - I actually like AIPAC Amy a lot. She’s from the Midwest! What’s not to love? Moreover, I “loved, loved, loved” her performance in “2020 POTUS Primary,” as Champaign-Urbana native Roger Ebert would say. I didn’t say so publicly at the time, because I was a BernieBro. “Be true to your school.” But Uncle Bernie’s not running for POTUS anymore, so my dance card is open. I like AIPAC Amy as a Midwest Democratic politician. She has good Midwest people skills. I was a Midwest Democrat for most of my adult life. [I live in South Boston now. Don't rat me out!] I was a Midwest Democrat Elected Official, a Midwest Democrat Precinct Committeeman. I know these people! AIPAC Amy is catnip at any Midwest Democrat event, so long as the AIPAC issues are excluded from discussion. I could have taken AIPAC Amy as my date to my 40th high school reunion and nobody would have batted an eye. [At least, nobody would have batted an eye because AIPAC Amy was there.]

AIPAC Amy had this priceless fake-self-deprecating riff in her ’20 POTUS campaign stump speech where she fake-“confessed” to raising money from her ex-boyfriends for her first electoral campaign. Midwest Democrats ate that riff up like candied spams! That’s some sneaky humble bragging! It presents itself as self-deprecating. “Hi, I’m AIPAC Amy, I’m just the #GirlNextDoor. I’m not one of those arrogant, imperious, self-absorbed, Mean Girl, sits-at-the-front-of-the-class, brown-noser, has-all-the-answers, Prep School, Ivy League, Coastal Elite Regime Liberals who supported NAFTA & inviting China to join the WTO & sent your jobs overseas to appease the Wall Street Bankster Oligarchs who fund their campaigns. Why, I was so strapped for campaign cash that I had to turn to my ex-boyfriends and beg them for money!”

But really, she was sneaky-bragging. Midwest Democrats see it as a Mark of Good Character if you still have good relationships with your exes. Your exes still like you. They still believe in you. They’re still willing to give you money to pursue your Dreams of Elected Public Service. You must be a Good Midwest Person. “Minnesota Nice,” as they say in Minnesota. Those are some Powerful Endorsements from Well-Connected Validators with Inside Information.

So I really do wish I could support AIPAC Amy for POTUS in 2028. I really do.

Unfortunately, I can’t support AIPAC Amy for POTUS in 2028. She screwed us on Gaza, big time. She voted no on the Bernie Gaza JRDs. She voted to keep sending U.S. weapons to Pharaoh Bibi to continue slaughtering children in Gaza, in violation of U.S. and international law.

“It’s not a radical idea” to enforce U.S. human rights law on U.S. weapons transfers to the Middle East, as Uncle Bernie would say. New Hampshire Democrat Jeanne Shaheen voted yes on the Bernie Gaza JRDs. She’s now the ranking Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, next in line to be Chair when Democrats retake the Senate. New Hampshire isn’t a super-dooper-blue state, any more than Minnesota is. If Jeanne Shaheen voted yes, AIPAC Amy could have voted yes.

Tina Smith voted yes. She’s the other Democratic Senator from Minnesota, the one who replaced Minnesota Democratic Senator Al Franken when New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand rode Al Franken out of the Senate on a rail without due process. [Kirsten Gillibrand voted no on the Bernie Gaza JRDs. Go figure.]

None of the Democratic Senators who voted no on the Bernie Gaza JRDs were up for re-election. The vote was in the Lame Duck session, after the election. It wasn’t Minnesota voters who stopped AIPAC Amy from supporting the Bernie Gaza JRDs. It was AIPAC Amy’s tizein bilbass [“two butts in one pair of underwear”] relationship with AIPAC.

Newly elected DNC Chair Ken Martin has promised us a “fairer than fair” [as former Chicago Mayor Harold Washington would say, may his memory be a blessing] Democratic presidential primary in 2028. I take Ken Martin at his word. I also expect BernieBro OGs Keith Ellison & Jim Zogby, who endorsed Ken Martin’s campaign for DNC Chair, to keep careful eyes on Ken Martin’s promise that the DNC will be scrupulously neutral in the 2028 Democratic Presidential Primary and not put its thumb on the scale for Dark Money candidates. “Trust, but verify.” AIPAC Amy must be held accountable for her vote against ending the carnage in Gaza.

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