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Trump Considering Tooth Fairy Tariff [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-01-25
Donald Jehosiphat Trump today said that he's considering a tariff on the Tooth Fairy. "Why does she get to pull all those American teeth?”, he said in the course of an interview about the disadvantages of health care. “We don't even know where she offshores them."
When asked for specifics about the tariff, Trump said, "Elon is working on an exact amount, but I told him it has to be high. So high that children keep up to 90% of their original teeth. Any the Tooth Fairy manages to yank out the mouths of the weaklings will go into the new Strategic Teeth Reserve were' going to be announcing." He added, “The Tooth Fairy will pay for the Reserve … through the tariff,” leaving several economists confused.
The President made these comments on his way back from his annual dental checkup at which he said his dentist confirmed that he "has the teeth of a newborn babe." "I can feel them turning into titanium, a little bit more every day," the President said, refusing to provide any further explanation.
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