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Elon and the Electric Edsel [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-01-25

By David Glenn Cox

One in four automotive consumers today say, “They won’t ever buy a Tesla because of Elon Musk.” They come in a flash and then slowly fade away. In 1909, Ransom E. Olds had it going on. He had sold 10,000 of his curved dash Oldsmobiles and was the number one car company in America. He then sold out to Billy Durant and later made a fortune building R.E.O. speed wagons. (trucks) They come, and they go, LaSalle, Hudson, Nash, Packard, Tucker, DeLorean and Desoto. Tell em Groucho sent you! Or Ask the man who owns one!

Elon’s most likely headed for two in five consumers before long, then headed out the door. The board would like to take this opportunity to suggest you take a long, long, very private vacation. Where you say nothing to anyone about anything for a very long, long time. Or the board will be forced to take immediate legal action against you. YOUR mouth is costing US money! YOUR mouth is damaging OUR interests! We spend millions of dollars each year trying to entice customers and your antics alienate them from us. It’s like a Ronald McDonald standing in front of the restaurant flipping people off in the drive thru.

Chances are, if consumers feel that way today. They will feel that way in the next five or ten years. Chances are, even if dear Elon were pushing up daises today, they would never ever buy a Tesla. Chances are, they will raise their children to not buy Teslas. Invite everyone to your pool party and then piss in the pool. Elon think’s he is inviolate because of his wealth. Billy Durant founded General Motors made what it was. Got pushed out and impoverished by bankers and ended up running a bowling alley. “They can’t do that to me!”

Tesla Motors got a head start in the electric car market and did well. The name became synonymous with electric vehicles. Now, all the manufactures offer electric vehicles. Tesla is no longer unique or special in the market anymore. That curved dash Olds was a nice car in 1909. The Model T left the Olds in the dust by 1914 with the best feature ever developed. The Ford was cheap and getting cheaper.

The more cars Ford built the cheaper each car became. The harder it was to maintain the same level of profit per car. So, for smaller manufactures it’s get big or die. No matter what sort of head start you might have had, Ford, Toyota, General Motors, Volkswagen have market reach and deep, deep pockets. The Cyber truck, like the PT Cruiser, was cool for about five minutes. Thousands sent Elon $100 (Take my money!) as a deposit on their potential purchase of a Cyber truck.

Now the Cyber truck is being hailed as this generation’s Pontiac Aztec or the dreaded title of electric Edsel. A meme, a joke, an electric Yugo. A dumpster fire on wheels or an Avant garde toaster. The one thing young car companies can’t afford is a flop. Hudson led the market with their Unibody construction. Five years later, it was out of style and their factories needed millions in retooling because of the Unibody construction.

Papa John was spitting out pizzas and stacking piles of cash. They were so successful ole Papa thought he’d take a few moments out of his busy day to share some of his folksy wisdom with us about how to be a corporate son of a bitch. Their sales tanked; the NFL cancelled their official partnership deal. They were the fastest growing pizza chain in America until somebody had to go open their big fucking mouth.

Let’s say just for the sake of argument and simple math. The electric car market is one million vehicle customers. 250,000 won’t buy a Tesla outright. Ten percent more have no opinion of Elon but don’t care for the car. Another ten percent might prefer your competitors features to the Tesla. You’ve lost almost half the market and they probably won’t ever be back. And what did you gain for all of your efforts Buffalo Bill? Preston Tucker was a real innovator too.

Elon’s antics endear him to the audience that largely would never buy an electric vehicle in one hundred years anyway, while antagonizing the audience that would. It’s corporate suicide and incompetence. Not since the owner of Segway scooter company went off a cliff on his Segway scooter has there been the equal. The golden boy is not so much golden, but brass.

Pipe dreams of going to Mars. Un huh, real soon. The latest Starship successfully put one million small pieces of debris into low earth orbit after it blew up (We meant to do that) No matter what anyone tells you it was a success. We learned a lot. We learned not to do that again. Solid useful knowledge which will never grow dim. Tomorrow is another day to try again!

Tesla in their infinite wisdom to be new and different avoided the traditional dealership model. A few years back if you wanted a Tesla you had to go find one. Today on almost any used car lot or pirate emporium are one year old Teslas for half of the price of brand new. You just really have to have your heart set on buying a brand new one! To take that kind of a beating in depreciation. Half in one year! 90K to 45 in twelve months. Oh, that sounds just like the car for me. I could save a fortune in gas!

But year-old Teslas available for immediate sale in the used car market show customer dissatisfaction. Or they wouldn’t be trading them in one year later and willingly taking it right up the bazzoo. In 1966, there were few 1965 Mustangs cluttering up the used car market, Tesla made Cyber truck owners agree not to flip their Cyber trucks for more money. However, it’s unlikely this document will be required for much longer.

Innovation is key, the Olds Toranado led the way in front wheel drive. Packard with its torsion bar suspension and fuel injection. Tucker with safety glass! Innovation don’t mean shit if they don’t like you. Lee Iacocca saved Chrysler by being that friendly folksy smiling grandpa character on TV encouraging us all to buy those crummy K-cars or minivans. Carroll Shelby could just stand next to a car and make it sell a million units. That’s what happens if they like you!

And then, we’ve got this douche bag here. Tell me swami, tell me true. Tell me about …the future! Will he be successful?

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