(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .
“Twas the Night Before Coronation [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-01-19
By Sam Combs with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore
‘Twas the night before coronation, when from sea
to shining sea,
Not a varmint was stirring, well maybe just weird JD;
The cruel Executive Orders were coming to the Resolute chair,
In hopes that voters wouldn’t really care;
The Magas were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of brown deportations danced in their heads;
And Melancholia in her fur pj’s, and I in my red cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out by the pool there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my golden throne to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like Jabba the Hutt,
Tore open the shutters and fell on my big butt.
The moon on the breasts of the Libs down below
Gave me the feeling this second term I might go pretty low,
When what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny Superiors,
With a little chubby driver, so biased a law robber,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Roberts.
More rapid than wraiths his justices they came,
And he whistled, and chortled, and called them by name;
“Now Thomas! now Alito! now Barrett and Jackson!
On, Kavanaugh! on Gorsuch! on Sotomayor and Kagan!
To the top of the porch! To the top of all heights!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all rights!”
As weak wills that during my brown shirt rallies cry,
When the meet with an obstacle, say your turn to die,
So down to Mar-a-Lago the justices they flew,
With a sleigh full of Handmaids plans, and St. Roberts too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The alleged lost ballots and the 2020 Election Fraud proof.
As I drew in my big orange head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Roberts came with a bound.
He was dressed all in black, from his head to his feet,
And his robes were all tarnished with lying and deceit;
A bundle of cruel laws he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an addict about to taste smack.
His eyes—how they watered! his dimples how scary!
His cheeks were like ashes, his nose pretty darn hairy!
His harsh little mouth was drawn up like a crow!
And the drooling on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of his gavel he held tight in his teeth,
And the cruel laws encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a mean face and was really quite smelly,
The smell emerged, when he laughed like old moldy jelly.
He was stooped and without empathy, a right scary elf,
And I applauded when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know that what we planned was much dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings with mean laws, such a jerk,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And pulling out some hairs, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his justices gave a whistle
And away they all flew with their crowns made of gristle.
But I heard him explain, ere they flew out of sight,
Happy Coronation To All, we’re back in ‘25 to cause more blight!
[END]
---
[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/1/19/2297724/-Twas-the-Night-Before-Coronation?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web
Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.
via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/
