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Helter Skelter! Coming Down Fast [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2025-01-16

By David Glenn Cox

Here in the 21st Century bankers are your friends. Great guys and gals all dedicated solely to helping you to get ahead. Health insurers are powered by “empathy.” You’ve gotta be kidding me man. Your car insurance company wants to SAVE YOU Money! And they say it with a straight face too. Know when to say when! Multinational beer brewers are concerned you might drink too much and that would be real bad. They don’t want that. Heaven forfend, they’d rather sacrifice millions in profits before that.

Because friend, they really care about you and only want what’s best for you. Dancing proctology tests at home and everybody is so happy about it. It’s an important part of a balanced breakfast! For the person on the go. Aids in digestion. New and improved! Can we talk about life insurance? Nine out of ten Subaru’s are still on the road! The safest car in its class, whatever that means. You ought to see it drive that speed slalom!

Dancing pharmaceuticals, you’re sick but still happy! Paddling my giant stalk of celery through a medicinal purple sea. All with a snappy jingle playing in the background. Driving my classic convertible down the sunny road of life. Don’t take this drug if allergic. How do I find out? Take it. Side effects include…Tell your doctor if breathing becomes labored or if you lose consciousness discontinue use.

Is it really any wonder we find ourselves in this situation? Tell them anything, sell them anything. They will believe! Five minutes, one two three four five minutes and Pete Hegseth’s fate would have been sealed with me. This isn’t a debate fool, it’s a job interview. They are trying to determine if Pete has the basic minimum required intelligence quotient and he’s not helping matters by smirking and behaving like a jerkoff frat boy.

But give the King his fool and be quick about it. There’s no stopping the King now. The bar has come down and we’re all going to take a little roller coaster ride here and where she stops nobody knows. Hegseth is a conduit, an empty pipe from the King’s mouth to the Army’s ear. Streetcars conductors collecting corporate nickels for the King sorted by request and offered price. The King chose Hegseth and the others specifically because they are dumb.

Fox News is certain Canada can’t wait to become our 51st state and takes offense at anyone saying otherwise. Gosh darn it! We’re ready to fight anybody saying Canada is a sovereign nation! Inside out upside in. Insanity on a half shelf. The King leads the monkey orchestra, and they all sing along “ooga, ooga, ooga!” Winston Smith on blotter acid on the yellow brick road to 2084, the day when you get yours. Reality is only a perspective. If you were Godzilla’s mother, you’d be mad at Tokyo.

“I would not be a Moses to lead you into the Promised Land, because if I could lead you into it, someone else [Fox News] could lead you out of it.”― Eugene V Debs

Convinced the Earth is flat, and men never landed on the moon. Medicine is BAD! Books are dangerous in the hands of small children. You and I can never talk down or talk over this megalopolis of misinformation. We can’t convince them there aren’t gremlins living in their attic if the megaphone of malfeasance says there are. If you see the truth and see what is going on, it’s like watching the car go off the cliff and there’s no stopping it.

Fortunately, if we can use the word fortunately. Their incompetence and general corruption will largely hamstring them from achieving their goals. It doesn’t mean any good things will occur, just not as bad as they possibly could be. Remembering there is no limit on just how bad it could eventually be. Helter Skelter! Coming down fast.

Americans can take solace in knowing that through their ignorance and susceptibility to modern moron grade propaganda they may have potentially doomed the entire world. Will we solve any problems in the next four years? Or will we argue about illegal alien immigrants like Superman, taking jobs away from American superheroes? Why didn’t Superman just get in the immigration line like everyone else?

The clearest indication our world has become corporately inverted. Insurance companies really care! It’s low in gluten and high in fiber, so we charge two dollars extra. We made the portion smaller and call it, diet. We brag about taking all the sugar out but dare not mention what god-awful complicated chemical we replaced it with. Now in the convenient 24 pack, know when to say when. Your mileage may vary.

Does your house stink? You need air fresheners! Do your clothes stink? You need a conditioner! Do you stink? Take a bath in luxury! Look here, I bought the toilet paper with the serrated edge because tearing toilet paper can just be so difficult sometimes. Now in the unopenable resealable package! Now with even more! Free! Save! Yes, friends! We just love you and care about you and your family so much. And the King loves you all too! He cares about you so much he even includes you in his prayers, every single night.

“In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely.”

― Hunter S. Thompson

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