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Trump's Great Land Grab: Manifest Destiny in a MAGA Hat [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2025-01-08
Introduction:
Once upon a time, powerful men carved up the world over cigars and brandy, trading territories like poker chips — colonialism, they called it — a grand enterprise of conquest, exploitation, and expansion. We like to think that those days are over.
But then there's Donald Trump.
With all the subtlety of a wrecking ball in a crystal shop, Trump has proposed taking foreign lands the way your eccentric uncle proposes buying a yacht — with no money, no plan, and no clue about the consequences. Greenland? He wanted to buy it. The Panama Canal? He hinted at taking it back.
It's imperialism for the reality TV age: bold, reckless, and entirely unserious. But behind Trump's absurd ideas lies a dangerous nostalgia for the age of empires — an outdated mindset that could do real damage in a world built on diplomacy, not conquest.
Trump's land-grab fantasies aren't just bizarre — they're riddled with glaring weaknesses that reveal his shallow understanding of history, diplomacy, and basic geography. Let's unpack the top ten flaws in his imperial ambitions.
1. Violation of Sovereignty Principles
First, let's get one thing straight: The world isn't a Monopoly board. Countries don't get to go around snatching up properties just because they feel nostalgic for empire-building.
Yet Trump seems to think otherwise. Proposing to buy Greenland — or reclaim the Panama Canal — is a blatant violation of international law, which respects the sovereignty of nations. In Trump's world, sovereignty is negotiable if the price is right. That's not diplomacy — that's piracy.
2. Outdated Imperialist Mindset
Trump's thinking is stuck somewhere between 1850 and 1950. He talks about territorial expansion as if Theodore Roosevelt were plotting the next American frontier. The problem? The world has moved on.
Imperialism is no longer the global order. Trying to revive it is like showing up to a modern dinner party dressed as a conquistador — it's not just embarrassing; it's wildly inappropriate.
3. Risk to U.S. Global Image
What does it say about America if its leader openly muses about land grabs? It says we're a nation stuck in the past, behaving like the bullies we once fought against. The U.S. has spent decades building a reputation as a defender of sovereignty and democracy. Trump would shred that image faster than a non-disclosure agreement at Mar-a-Lago.
4. Legal and Diplomatic Obstacles
Even if Trump's ideas weren't laughable, they'd be legally impossible. International treaties aren't suggestions — they're binding agreements.
Revisiting the Panama Canal Treaty would trigger a diplomatic crisis. And let's not forget that Denmark's response to the Greenland proposal was basically, "Thanks, but no thanks." Turns out, sovereign nations don't appreciate being treated like properties on Zillow.
5. Unrealistic Military and Economic Costs
Acquiring territories isn't cheap. Trump might think he can buy Greenland with a check from his Trump University account, but the reality is far more expensive — and dangerous.
Forcibly taking control of foreign lands would require military action, economic coercion, or both. Either way, the costs would be astronomical. But hey, running up unsustainable debt has always been Trump's specialty.
6. Ignoring Existing Treaties
Trump has never been a fan of rules. Treaties, to him, are like contracts with contractors — they're meant to be broken. However, tearing up treaties like the Panama Canal agreement would destroy decades of trust between the U.S. and its allies.
The world relies on America to honor its commitments. If we start behaving like a rogue state, we'll be treated like one.
7. Lack of Strategic Justification
Experts have repeatedly pointed out that the U.S. has no strategic reason to control Greenland or the Panama Canal. Trump's proposals aren't rooted in defense strategy but in a mix of ego, nostalgia, and a desire to slap his name on something big.
It's not about national security. It's about legacy-building — or, in Trump's case, brand-building.
8. Potential for Global Instability
The world operates on a delicate balance of diplomacy. If Trump's land-grab ideas became reality, they'd set a dangerous precedent for other countries to follow.
Trump and Xi seem to be taking—or at least faking—a page from Putin's well-worn playbook of territorial ambition and authoritarian swagger. Thinly disguised as strategic genius, Putin's "might makes right" doctrine has inspired imitators eager to posture as global power players. However, in their clumsy attempts to replicate his tactics, Trump and Xi are less grand strategists and more like kids playing Risk with missing pieces. The result? Global stability is now about as shaky as Trump's hastily erected border wall—held together more by bluster than by any real foundation.
9. Alienation of Allies
Proposing to buy or seize territories doesn't just alienate the countries involved — it alienates our allies. Denmark, Panama, and other nations would rightly see these moves as hostile.
Trump might call himself a master negotiator, but alienating allies is the opposite of diplomacy. It's diplomacy in reverse — a crash course in how to lose friends and alienate people.
10. Economic Blowback
Finally, let's talk about the economic fallout. If America started seizing territories, the international community wouldn't sit back and watch. Sanctions, trade restrictions, and retaliatory measures would devastate the U.S. economy.
Trump might be used to walking away from bankrupt businesses, but the American people don't have that luxury.
Conclusion:
Trump's land-grab fantasies reveal a man who still believes bigger is always better —and who sees America's influence as something you can buy, barter, or bulldoze your way into expanding. His nostalgia for imperial conquest isn't just outdated; it's dangerous.
But there's a delicious irony lurking beneath Trump's imperial aspirations.
For all his talk of acquiring new territory, he seems blissfully unaware of one key vulnerability: Alaska.
You see, Trump's imperial mindset is eerily reminiscent of someone else's — Vladimir Putin. Both men share a love of grandiose power plays and outsized ambitions. But history shows us that Putin isn't content with annexing Crimea. His eyes are always on the next prize.
So, here's a question for Donald Trump: What's your plan when Putin comes knocking for Alaska?
Let's be real — if Putin decided to reclaim that former Russian territory, would Trump have the courage to defend it? Or would he offer it up as part of a new "Art of the Deal"?
The truth is imperialism doesn't work in the modern world. And if Trump wants to play emperor, he might find himself on the wrong side of history — watching as Alaska, the last frontier, sails off into the Russian sunset.
In the end, America doesn't need more land. It requires more wisdom. Too bad that's the one territory Trump will never conquer.
~Dunneagin~
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