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Why Stop at Renaming the Gulf of Mexico? [1]
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Date: 2025-01-07
With Donald Trump suggesting we rename the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America”, one must wonder why he did not just go for “Gulf of Trumpia”. Given that Mexico borders more of the Gulf than the US does, by just over 100km, it seems a bit unfair to take their name off of it, but who ever said that politics was fair. In any case, this seems like a golden opportunity to rename some other places as well.
We should probably start with Death Valley. The name is such a downer. Why not make it look like things are getting better under Trump’s administration, and go with something a little more cheery, like “Not Feeling So Good Valley”?
Looking at our southern border, perhaps that river would look less appealing for people to cross if instead of Rio Grande, we were to rename it something a little more intimidating, like “Alligator River” or maybe “Acid Dump Canal”.
Florida has pretty much left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth since the “Hanging Chad” debacle in 2000. People might be a little more optimistic about our southeastern most state if we were to call it something with a positive connotation. “Candyland” has a nice ring to it, and it could really deflate some of those wild stories if they started off with “Candyland man. . .”
As long as we are at it, we have too much confusion with the north/south states. How about just one Carolina, and its sister state could be “Bubbalonia”. South Dakota could become Dakota, and North Dakota could be “Tundralonia”.
A couple of the Great Lakes are actually not all that great. Superior is pretty big, but let’s face it, Lake Ontario is not much bigger than Lake Winnipeg, and why should Canada get to provide all the lake names? I suggest Lake Niagara, and it can be reduced from a “great” lake to a “reasonably large” lake.
Since there might be some confusion on the part of some of those immigrants from the south, we really should change the name of New Mexico, so those border jumpers don’t think they might still be in Mexico. The confusion could be most easily avoided if we named it something they would not be confused about. “INSama” might do the trick.
And since The USA does not actually “own” the Gulf of Mexico, and therefore has no logical reason to “rename” it at all, there is no reason to confine ourselves to US territory. So, let’s start with some places that could really benefit from a name upgrade. Cuba has had a bad rap for a long time, but imaging how much better it would sound with a name like “Miami Island”.
The Gulf of California does not even border California, so that should be changed to, what else, the Gulf of Mexico. And the peninsula next to it, obviously “Baja Mexico”. I mean fair is fair.
Finally, on the subject of Florida, that Mar-A-Lago name really needs to go. Let’s get Donald’s name right on that sucker, so no one has any doubt. “Trump’s Dump” really rolls off the tongue so much better.
I am sure there are many other places we could rename. I have heard so many names for Washington DC, for instance, that I could not begin to recount them all. I say let the renaming begin and let the buffalo chips fall where they may.
In closing, name changes are not always a bad idea. Just think, if Greenland changed their name to “Democratia”, Trump might just to decide to forget all about them. Personally, I hope Trump puts a lot of effort into this proposal. It might keep him from doing some serious damage elsewhere.
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[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2025/1/7/2295732/-Why-Stop-at-Renaming-the-Gulf-of-Mexico?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web
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