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You Have One Job, Make Sure You Do It: Wishing You A Healthy and Survivable 2025 [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2024-12-31

You really do have one job, and that is, to not only survive, but to live as well as you can within your means.

You must become your first priority right now.

While many of us are still trying to deal with the results of November’s totalitarian overthrow, we’re forgetting that we’ve also been handed a mandate to survive. That means, we need to stop chronic worrying and start taking the best care of ourselves.

In order to fight the good fight properly, we need to take care of ourselves sufficiently to re-engage in the upcoming battles.

Begin with something you will commit to doing that will improve either your mental outlook or your physical well-being; ultimately you will improve both.

Do you need to lose a few pounds, or a lot, because you have been frustration eating? How about drinking too much, smoking “herb” a bit more than usual, or maybe you’ve stopped microdosing your psychedelics and have begun macro-dosing? Did the shorter days get to you and you felt like doing nothing but sleeping? Did you get a cold that just wouldn’t let go of you? Were family get-togethers another opportunity for disastrous conversations? Are you just plain, old worn out and exhausted by the daily garbage that we keep seeing in the news cycle?

You must be told, and I’m telling you now, you are not alone, and you matter. You are important, and you need to begin to think and feel about yourself as important and valued.

Psychological warfare means that the opponent who can cause a higher level of self-doubt and self-abuse wins the fight. If your opponent is skilled in manipulation, or has learned predatory practices and begun perfecting them, your best way of surviving is disengagement. Don’t grant them an audience. Don’t permit them space inside your head.

A Facebook meme presented the following advice:

“Distance is my new answer to disrespect. I no longer react, I no longer argue, I no longer dive into drama. I simply remove my presence.”

What we’re up against is a media process that is self-absorbed and unaware of its role in properly informing the nation of impending danger. It sees itself as entertainment and endeavors to be in your face 24/7, delivering some kind of perpetual product to viewers. Constant newsfeed is completely unnecessary. By the time you read or listen to a story, there is nothing you could have done about it. Reacting with hyperbole and catastrophizing isn’t going to change anything except how you mentally register the event.

We’re also up against former friends, acquaintances, co-workers and perhaps employers who now feel justified in perpetrating self-righteous abuses of anyone they can turn into a victim. Just like in an electrical circuit, they’ve created the polarity, running from the positive contact to the negative one, but without any device actually being powered. There’s just a short circuit that’s continuing to heat up the wire. Eventually, it will either deplete the power source or it will start a fire.

Are you holding that circuit close enough to get burned by it?

Your first, best and daily practice should be disengagement. The little buddies in the pictures are not unaware. They have a full grasp of their environment, but they don’t engage unless there’s good reason to. They know where their on-off switch is, and they frequently keep it off. You need to know where your on-off switch is, and don’t let anyone else turn it on.

Disengagement is not the same thing as “quiet-quitting,” a practice where workers or employees show up, do the minimum required to get by and offer up zero enthusiasm for their workplace. You can disengage without giving up your work ethic and you can still do a seriously good job without being involved in the social structure of most companies and organizations.

If you are stuck working with someone or living with someone who insists on poking at you or agitating you, get distance. Disengage. Verbal assaults are important, too. Having personal space is paramount. Create your own. Granted, this is often easier said than done. If you need support or allies in getting your much-needed personal space, that must be your first priority. Keep in mind, the taunts and harangue are all intended to provoke YOU into doing something under stress, and that means, instead of being in control of yourself, others are manipulating you.

On occasion, someone close to you is engaging because they want or need your attention. If you are in a close relationship, you will need to learn what is the reason for the taunt. Are they lonely? Are they feeling left out of your life? Are they just not really capable of expressing intimacy, real feelings, love, affection, and this is their dysfunctional way of saying, “I love you and I want you to care about me, too?” Keep in mind, this is the exception to the rule. It is NOT normal or desirable behavior in any meaningful relationship.

Price Pritchett talks about the “Five C’s” of negativity: Complaining, Criticizing, being overly Concerned, Comiserating and Catastrophizing. We all engage in these behaviors. We do it without thinking. It is ingrained in the human psyche as part of a primitive survival mechanism. We can do better. Our world is largely not a primal one, and we have many opportunities to translate these negativisms into positive self-protective thought and action, rather than being daily bathed in emotional reactivity.

There’s a lot of self-help available online. There are many ways to get counseling and someone to talk to that do not cost very much. Getting yourself back on track is not going to be easy, but you need to do it. You matter.

If you are struggling, or you know of someone who is in dire need, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is manned 24/7 with empathic volunteers. You can call 988, or you can Google it get links to a chat line.

Another exceptional resource is the Columbia Lighthouse Project (cssrs.columbia.edu) where you can get a variety of recommendations for helping others, and peer support is available for helper professionals. These are incredibly stressful times, and together, we can be of comfort and support for one another.

We are entering a difficult social reality — treatment professionals might call this a “dual relationship.” That means, we can see the messed-up character of our neighbors and countrymen, we can see the tribalism and senseless spewing, and we must also try to be of help and be present. The pathology of drawing helpers in and then deliberately trying to hurt them is something we all need to be aware of. We don’t want to shun our neighbors and friends, but we need to establish and maintain healthy and safe boundaries. We know that the unhealthy element is sitting right below the surface. It will feel like a very lonely post. The impulse to rescue will be strong. The first person we must always be ready to rescue is ourselves.

Your one job is to survive.

Make it your full focus as we enter this New Year. Peace.

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