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12 Songs of Christmas: Elf's Lament [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2023-12-14
Each day until Christmas, I am going to write briefly about a Christmas song I enjoy. Because I can, that's why. And I am an unabashed corny dork.
Elf's Lament is as close to a perfect Christmas song as one can get, I think. It is told from the point of view of the put-upon Elves who make our Christmas gifts as they attempt to work themselves up to strike before Christmas. Half worker's of the world unite, half English-lit major as barista lament, it' a brilliant commentary on how commercialism and capitalist exploitation are at the heart of the modern Christmas experience. The lament is not just for the tireless elf, but also for the UPS driver, the third world factory worker, and the Amazon warehouse worker who are all ground down by the mechanism of modern Christmas consumption. Plus, Santa is completely a sweatshop owner on top of being a privacy invading spook.
What makes the song really work is its jolly tone. It is a completely upbeat, fast paced earworm of a tune with lyrics sung in a happy cheerful voice but are really about how your Christmas presents are wrapped with the blood and tears of tiny, little, exploited elves. Elves who had aspirations but find themselves in a world where those aspirations are sacrificed upon the alter of inhumane Christmas efficiency. You'd be a militant, too, if you were lower on the org chart than a reindeer.
open.spotify.com/...
I'm a man of reason, and they say "'Tis the season to be jolly"
But it's folly when you volley for position Never in existence has there been such a resistance
To ideas meant to free us
If you could see us, then you'd listen Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
There's no union
We're only through when we outdo the competition I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf A full indentured servitude can reflect on one's attitude
But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous Absurd though it may seem, you know, I've heard there's even been illegal doping
And though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement
But when thrown into the moment, we just don't seem so courageous I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf You look at yourself
You're an elf
And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories
Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you aren't just happy making crappy little gizmos
Every kid knows they'll just throw this stuff away We're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition
We, the undersigned, feel undermined
Let's redefine "employment" We know that we've got leverage, so we'll hand the fat man a beverage
And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow
He may thunder, but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went I make toys, but I've got aspirations
Make some noise
Use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price
Naughty or nice, but consider the price to an elf
[END]
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