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The suit he can't rip up or shred for dollars fits him like a glove... [1]

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Date: 2023-12-13

Donald Trump may look rumpled and thrown together at times, but he does so dressed in expensive suits tailored by the famous Italian menswear designer, Brioni. The legally indebted ex-president has resorted to selling off the suit he wore the night he was arraigned in Georgia, posing for his now infamous mugshot. The man for whom it could never be said that he would give you “the shirt off his back”, may soon be down to his last blazer! Imagine the next week’s SNL cold opening. An oversized Santa hawking Trump Tiny Treasures for the upcoming holidays:

“Just in time for the gift-giving season, for that someone who has everything. Shards of the Trump mugshot suit, complete with flop sweat and the distinctive odor of corruption are now available for your favorite insurrectionist-supporting crazy uncle. And get this, the fabric is signed in sharpie and costs about as much as a whole Brioni Bespoke suit! You can hang on your wall or in your closet. Ho, ho, ho it is a gift that is bound to impress some folk and piss off the rest! But wait, if you act now! With each purchase of $4652.99 you get NFT trading cards with depictions of anime-Trump posing like a Marvel hero.”

As Trump channels Ron Popeil to fund his never-ending court cases, the suckers Barnum promised would be born every day prove the old circus impresario right. Buyer beware warnings are ignored as they empty their savings and piggybanks to purchase a piece of the Brioni fabric now repurposed as relic material for the adoration of the cult. For the rest of us, this gambit smells of desperation (among other things) along with a healthy dose of contempt for his followers.

The good news may be that the walls are closing in on Trump’s lifelong practice of grifting off fools who fall for his phony brand of hucksterism. In a play on words that I suspect is beyond “the man who knew too little,” the Brioni bargain is a desperate plea for relief from the suits brought by Smith, Willis, James, et.al.:

The US Supreme Court has agreed to expedite consideration of special counsel Jack Smith’s request for a decision on Donald Trump’s “immunity” claim in his election subversion case that the former president wants dismissed. An answer would mark the first time the nation’s highest court has weighed in on the criminal prosecutions of the former president, who was charged in a grand jury indictment for his alleged efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election. Hours after Mr. Smith’s request on Monday, justices agreed to expedite the case. Mr. Trump has until 4pm on Wednesday 20 December to respond. — Independent, “Trump’s ‘presidential immunity’ claim will be tested at the Supreme Court,” by Alex Woodward

The Trump defense team’s claim in the D.C. case before Judge Chutkan is a stab at creating for their client an unprecedented superpower of total immunity and lifelong protection from crimes committed while in office. Federal Prosecutor Jack Smith preempted their attempt to tie up the court and delay proceedings by immediately requesting an expedited hearing before the Supreme Court that will settle two issues— the idea that a sitting president has total immunity for crimes committed in office, and whether the privileges of office extend to all his acts while in the White House. Trump's team contends that on January 6 and the days leading up to the insurrection, Trump's behavior was protected from prosecution by the implied constitutional protections contained in the “separations of power” doctrine. Judge Chutkan in her ruling specifically denies that claim by citing the court’s decision in Nixon v, Fitsgerald :

This case now presents the claim that the President of the United States is shielded by absolute immunity from civil damages liability. In the case of the President the inquiries into history and policy, though mandated independently by our cases, tend to converge. Because the Presidency did not exist through most of the development of common law, any historical analysis must draw its evidence primarily from our constitutional heritage and structure. Historical inquiry thus merges almost at its inception with the kind of "public policy" analysis appropriately undertaken by a federal court. This inquiry involves policies and principles that may be considered implicit in the nature of the President's office in a system structured to achieve effective government under a constitutionally mandated separation of powers. — Nixon v. Fitzgerald (1982)

The decision to limit immunity to civil damages is further amplified in Chief Justice Burger’s concurring opinion which stipulates the limitations of the decision to civil damages:

It strains the meaning of the words used to say this places a President "above the law." United States v. Nixon, 418 U. S. 683 (1974). The dissents are wide of the mark to the extent that they imply that the Court today recognizes sweeping immunity for a President for all acts. The Court does no such thing. The immunity is limited to civil damages claims. Moreover, a President, like Members of Congress, judges, prosecutors, or congressional aides -- all having absolute immunity -- are not immune for acts outside official duties. [Footnote 2/2] Ante at 457 U. S. 753-755. Even the broad immunity of the Speech and Debate Clause has its limits. [Footnote 2/3] — Chief Justice Burger’s concurring opinion in Nixon v, Fitzgerald

The significance of the 91 felony counts that Trump faces is their criminal nature. It is a point that the Trump defense has conveniently ignored and Jack Smith recognizes as a dilatory tactic rather than a serious appeal for justice for their client.

As the walls close in, as his MAGA-sized ego is relegated to a closet of legal consequences, we are left to ask, “What next?”

Will an awakened fool who bought Trump’s latest scam question the validity of “the most significant political artifact in American History” and learn he has purchased polyester fool’s gold and invite another a class action fraud suit?

Or will his next promotion be an opportunity to own a thread from the tighty-whities discarded after his encounter with Stormy Daniels (eeew)— surely the least significant artifact from a defendant and his legal team undressed by judicial precedent?

Again… but wait! There’s more!

With the felonious ex-president, there always is.

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