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Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1]

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Date: 2023-11-28

Energize An Ally Tuesday Call me crazy, but I've never been a fan of the day-after-Thanksgiving shopping event known as Trample Your Neighbors At The Mall Friday. Now that I'm finally out of the coveted 25-54 demo, I can kick back at home and let the young 'uns do the trampling instead. (I’m told it wasn’t as bad as last year, but still...no thanks.) I much prefer Giving Tuesday, started in 2011 as "an international day of charitable giving at the beginning of the Christmas and holiday season." It's a good time to stop and appreciate the many fearless, well-run organizations that go out every day and defend the country from the internal orc army known as the MAGA cult. Plus there tends to be less trampling. Continued...

Here are some groups on which we've cast our Tuesday Energize An Ally spotlight over the years. If you feel like tossing a few bucks their way, they'd appreciate it. And if you have a group that you'd like folks to know about, let us know in the comments.

The ACLU The civil liberties titan preventing the GOP from treating the Constitution as a total snot rag League of Conservation Voters Working to make life hell for the polluters and the fossil fuel addicts (but I repeat myself). Democracy Docket Marc Elias runs the leading progressive source for information, analysis and opinion about voting rights, elections and democracy, and he spends a lot of time in courtrooms around the country winning cases against the election deniers. Run for Something Extremely effective at recruiting and training thousands of young progressives to run for office since the day Trump took office...and a lot of ‘em have been winning. Indivisible Former Obama staffers who literally wrote the how-to manual on "cultivating a grassroots movement of thousands of local groups to elect progressive leaders, realize bold progressive policies, rebuild our democracy, and defeat the MAGA agenda" Leaders We Deserve Founded by David Hogg and Kevin Lata, this is a newly-hatched grassroots organization dedicated to electing young progressives to Congress and State Legislatures across the country to help defeat the far-right agenda and advance a progressive vision for the future.

To all the organizations fighting the good fight, and the dedicated advocates who staff them, Thank You for doing what you do. It is most excellent.

And now, our feature presentation...

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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Note: We hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. If instead you had a terrible one, you'll be pleased to know that the C&J Memory Eraser 5000 is back in service. Just insert 5,000 quarters and push your “ESC” button. We’d tell you what happens next, but our legal team says that’s proprietary information. (However, you will want to wear a blast helmet and disable your smoke detectors.)

—Mgt.

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By the Numbers:

4 days!!!

Days 'til Christmas: 27

Days 'til the Arkansas Pecan Festival in Keo: 4

Year-over-year increase in sellers putting homes up for sale: 5%

Years since the mortgage delinquency rate was as low as it is today: 24

Expected GDP grown for the 4th quarter, according to the latest forecast by Goldman Sachs, the Atlanta Fed, and Bank of America: 2%

Year that Jehovah's Witnesses had to start logging the hours they spent proselytizing on the streets, a practice that was halted last week: 1920

Percent of the tracks used by Amtrak that are owned by, and shared with, private freight rail companies: 70%

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Puppy Pic of the Day: Barkaholic intervention…

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JEERS to welcoming a wolf into the sheep paddock. As hostages continue to be released from the clutches of Hamas as the situation remains equal parts tense and tragic in Israel and Palestine, Bibi Netanyahu thought it would be as well idea to welcome raging anti-Semite Elon Musk for a visit to pretend he's not a raging anti-Semite. They spent some time looking at things and pointing at things, and nodding their heads in grave agreement as they shuffled around here and there, neither of them really giving two shits about it all. They met because they're both richer than God, enjoy all the luxuries of life, and just wanted to hang out and share stories of domestic opulence and globetrotting luxury vacation adventures. Said Clarence Thomas: "Hey, guys, how come I wasn't invited???"

WHATEVER to the bad penny that keeps turning up. Congress is back in session this week. I know this because the D.C. hookers are back to buying new jewelry and the House cafeteria staff is back to counting the silverware. (But what are all those cardboard packing boxes doing in George Santos’s office? Stay tuned.)

CHEERS to the agency we love to hate. Happy Birthday to the Department of Homeland Security—please try to curb your enthusiasm. President Bush signed legislation creating the bureaucratic behemoth 21 years ago this week. (Quick—name the original nominee to be the second DHS director after Tom Ridge. Yep...a crook recommended by Rudy Giuliani named Bernie Kerik. Vetting's fun!)

Remember this DHS bad boy? Airports were at level orange during its entire run.

Thanks to DHS, the first thing I do before I start my morning is go to their website for news of any fresh terror attacks, just in case I need to pull "Old Bessie," my Civil War-era cannon, out of the garage and load up the old gal with my secret mix of shrapnel and Alpo. Most days I don't, so I just duct-tape everything in my sight and then sit in my safe room snorking extra-strength Maalox while waiting for someone to spring the freedom traps I set around the house. Vigilance, people.

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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JEERS to caging our planet-mates. During this week in 1716 the first African lion was put on exhibition in Boston. The notes of the first reporter who covered the event read:

"Entering the cage, one gets a feeling that one is among the friendliest of pussy cats. The eyes of this magnificent beast exude warmth, hospitality, and a soul that can only be described as harmlesghfjbvhasduighghh…nn n"

There may have been more, but that's the only part of the notepad the lion pooped out the next day. Plus the pencil. And the hat. Well, the brim, anyway. Unless that was part of a shoe.

CHEERS to C&J's Joke Of The Day. This one is so hot it’s ripped from the latest headlines: A deranged fascist, a lifelong crook, and a businessman hemorrhaging money walk into the dining room at Mar-a-Lago for dinner. The server walks over to the table and says, "Good evening, Mr. Trump, what’ll ya have?"

I’ll show myself out.

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Ten years ago in C&J: November 28, 2013

CHEERS to ending the stomach growlies. This is rather jaw-dropping: A U.N. official says he knows how to eradicate hunger in Africa within 12 years. Great. That would be awesome. And when he's done, maybe he can come over here and do it for us.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to the calm before the calm. Only 3 days 'til the end of Atlantic hurricane season for the U.S. Let's check in and see if NOAA thinks anyone should be battening the hatches:

Nope—all clear. Let’s just quietly tiptoe along and speak no more of it. And for God’s sake, someone tell Carnival Cruise Lines to cancel their above-deck spinning classes for a week. That’s how these things get started.

Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “When people ask what's special about Cheers and Jeers, in addition to the beauty of the kiddie pool, what I always say is it's really the diversity.” —Bruce Rowe

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