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Summery of a New York Times Article on the Vampire Dilemma [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2023-10-31
The vampire population bigger than ever!
A 3.2 percent increase this year,
8.6 percent the year before
Well above
The FVSC – Federal Vampire Suppression Commission's
Mandated target, maximum, low 2% annual increase
In the number of blood suckers amongst us,
Meanwhile the VIRS – Vampire Internal Retribution Service
Can't get the necessary funding
To hire more heart stakers
Because of the Republican blockage in Congress.
The climate crisis has not helped either,
Millions of trees burning up
In national forests
Has raised the cost of a hardwood stake
To 20 times the price of a small silver cross,
Additionally, a strange fungus is attacking
Garlic crops.
There is hope, though, from scientists at the CDC
Who now endorse the President's proposal
That all citizens become vegetarians,
The latest human test data confirms
That vampires are allergic
To anyone
Who has a high level of
Vegetable protein
In their blood.
-30-
Carl Scott Harker ©2023 __________________________________________ My latest book for children and adults of poetry is now available on Amazon, you can find it here: The HedgeHog and Other Selected Poems. __________________________________________ Thank you for reading this parody poem and dig at New York Times articles.
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