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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2023-09-08
Wayback Machine Goes Back A Baker's Dozen…
With the writers strike still in full force (and good for them), the late-nighters remain on lockdown. So let's go back a lifetime to revisit those heady Obama years and see what they were talking about in September of 2012, when the political conventions were in the rear-view mirror and the candidates were in full sprint toward election day…
"A new CNN poll shows that President Obama now has a six-point lead over Mitt Romney. You can tell Romney’s depressed. Last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation."
—Jimmy Fallon Stephen Colbert: What disappointed me most [about Obama's convention speech] was, he trotted out the same wild claim that Republicans have been working for years to disprove:
Clip of Obama: I'm the President.
Stephen Colbert: That is so arrogant! I bet anything you'll never hear Mitt Romney say those words.
—The Colbert Report
Continued...
You are now below the fold, where your CApS LOCk KEY maY geT a BIT woNkY.
"Michelle Obama said the first car Barack picked her up in was so old you could see the ground below them. Today, Ann Romney said the same thing about Mitt's helicopter."
—Conan O'Brien Sept. 2012: 46 and 44 in New Hampshire. "Everyone is still talking about Bill Clinton's speech last night in Charlotte. It was a remarkable speech—45 minutes long and 6,000 words. Like the political version of the guitar solo from Freebird."
—Craig Ferguson "New documents show that Mitt Romney's campaign is $11 million in debt. First Romney's advisers had to explain that he was running out of money. Then they had to explain to him what running out of money means."
—Jimmy Fallon I saw a guy today scraping a Romney bumper sticker off his car. It was Paul Ryan.
—Jay Leno
And an observation on the GOP and their enablers at Fox News, as relevant today as it was then:
Jon Stewart: They act like their shit don’t stink. If they have success, they built it. If they fail, the government ruined it for them. If they get a break, they deserve it. If you get a break, it's a "handout" and an "entitlement." It's a baffling, willfully-blind cognitive dissonance best summed up by their head "coach" in what is perhaps my favorite sound bite of all time: Clip of actor Craig T. Nelson on Fox News: I've been on food stamps and welfare. Did anybody help me out? No! —The Daily Show
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Friday, September 8, 2023
Note: Oh, great. When you add up the digits in tomorrow's date—9 + 9 + 23—they add up to 41, a prime number. Do yourself a favor: steer clear of Euclid's house tomorrow or he'll talk your ear off about how he deserves a promotion because his goddamn "theorem" saved the company $4,000 in office supplies last year. Suckup.
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By the Numbers:
6 days!!!
Days 'til Constitution Day: 9
Days 'til the Lodi Grape Festival in California: 6
U.S. exports in July, $3.9 billion more than June exports: $251.7 billion
U.S. trade deficit with China, down from $34.2 billion a year ago: $25.4 billion
Drop in Twitter's ad revenue, thanks to Elon Musk's atrocious business skills and big anti-Semitic mouth: -60%
Domestic movie box office between May and Labor Day, led by Barbie's $612 million: $4 billion
Percent of the tickets for RodeoHouston's breakaway and barrel racing events this year that were purchased by women: 73%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: New kid on the slopes…
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CHEERS to kicking the Very Bad Party in the chops. As we launch ourselves into the post-Labor Day weekend, let's quickly review just how pathetic our noble opposition looked this week:
☹ The leader of the terrorist network known as the "Proud Boys" learned from a judge that he'll be in prison until season 3,495 of Dancing with the Stars. ☹ Trump's nutso White House economic adviser who was elevated to nutso Covid-19 adviser Peter Navarro was held in contempt by a jury for for defying a subpoena from the Jan. 6 select committee, and may be joining the Proud Boys convict in the hoosegow for a couple years. ☹ Senator Tommy Tuberville (MAGA-AL) complained that poems written on warships are "woke" and should be banned. In related news: say farewell to our national anthem. The country represented by his flag just sent this traitor to prison for a very long time. ☹ Trump attorney John Eastman came closer to disbarment in California by testifying on his own behalf. ☹ Fulton County D.A. Fani Willis told perv congressman Jim Jordan (MAGA-OH) to keep his nose out of her criminal investigation of Trump and his 18 co-conspirators. He should have no trouble doing that, since his Ohio State University days proved he's an expert at looking the other way when crimes are committed. ☹ Wisconsin Republicans ran into a PR buzzsaw over their threats to impeach a liberal state supreme court justice who hasn't even made a ruling yet. ☹ Another dozen MAGA "youth pastors" were scooped up by the law for schtupping children. ☹ Trump lost in court again to E. Jean Carroll, one of the women he raped, when a judge upheld defamation charges against him and paved the way for a huge settlement announcement in January. ☹ The Marjorie Taylor-Greene caucus in the House was told in no uncertain terms by Senate Republicans not to f*ck around with the budget and cause a government shutdown. They say they'll consider it right after they get done dangling Speaker Kevin McCarthy from the Capitol dome by his ankles. (Or as they call it: playtime.) ☹ Eric Trump got stuck in the Bedminster Resort dumbwaiter again.
For the rest of the list, please send a self-addressed, stamped industrial-size freight container to C&J headquarters. Please allow several months for processing and printing. (It's a really long list.)
CHEERS to environmental notes. We'll file both of these under the trite-but-true "elections have consequences":
Brazil Marina Silva, Brazil’s environment minister, announced a 66.1 percent decrease in Amazon deforestation compared to last August. That amounted to a loss of about 217square miles, according to Reuters. These figures come during a time of year when destruction of the rainforest is usually quite high, and follows a similar trend seen in July. So far this year, the rate of deforestation is 48percent lower than in 2022 and is at levels not seen since 2018. The numbers are another victory for President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, who has made protecting the Amazon a policy priority. “Thanks, Dark Brandon.” Alaska The Biden administration canceled the seven remaining oil and gas leases in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge on Wednesday, overturning sales held in the Trump administration’s waning days, and proposed stronger protections against development on vast swaths of the National Petroleum Reserve-Alaska. … “It is nearly impossible to overstate the importance of today’s announcements for Arctic conservation,” said Jamie Williams, president of the Wilderness Society. “Once again, the Arctic Refuge is free of oil leases."
When asked why they're being so aggressive in tackling climate change, the two leaders issued a brief statement: "If you've ever been on the receiving end of Greta Thunberg stink eye, you know why."
HUZZAH to the secession squisher. Happy 195th birthday to General Joshua Chamberlain from the Great State of Maine. In 1863 he held Little Round Top against overwhelming odds during the battle of Gettysburg, saving the north from being ruled by Lee and the forebears of our own brain-damaged January 6 insurrection. Amazingly it took thirty years for Congress to approve his Medal of Honor:
- Happy birthday, Union saver dude. The President of the United States of America, in the name of Congress, takes pleasure in presenting the Medal of Honor to Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, United States Army, for extraordinary heroism on 2 July 1863, while serving with 20th Maine Infantry, in action at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, for daring heroism and great tenacity in holding his position on the Little Round Top against repeated assaults, and carrying the advance position on the Great Round Top
Then, suffering from a host of war-related ailments and injuries, he came back home to be Maine's governor for four years (winning his third one-year term in 1868 with 72 percent of the vote). Today we consider him our state's #1 hero. Well, if you don’t count the guy from Farmington who invented earmuffs.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x American woodcock videos often show them bobbing and rocking, and it's believed this dance may create enough vibration that it will disturb earthworms, so that the birds can forage them
[📹 Kelly Cain]pic.twitter.com/yGWH728J8o — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) September 8, 2023
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to undeserved free passes. Forty-nine years ago today, President Ford committed the unconditionally-unpardonable sin of granting an unconditional pardon to Richard "I am not a crook except when I am" Nixon. He said it was absolutely necessary to help "heal" the country. To this day I still have no idea what that means. I don't remember anyone losing their shit over the Watergate hearings, do you? Everyone I knew pretty much laughed their asses off as he fled with his tail between his legs and an approval rating in the mid-20s.
Gerald Ford showing Americans how to pick their jaw up off the floor after hearing about his pardon of crook Richard Nixon.
Final verdict on the pardon: bad call. The American people were robbed of the opportunity to see that, when the president does what Tricky Dick did, it IS illegal. Bless the late David Frost for coaxing the jaw-dropping nugget out of that dirty crook.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Sunday’s start of NFL concussion season is the only notable thing on the TV schedule this weekend—the list of games and times is here. You can also check out the Major League Baseball schedule here. The most popular movies and streamers, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. And here’s the Sunday morning lineup, which will focus 1 percent on all the Republicans going to prison for trying to overthrow the American system of government and 99 percent on ZOMG BIDEN IS OLD AND HUNTER ONCE BOUGHT A GUN WE’RE SO DOOMED!!!!!
CHUCK TODD’S LAST EDITION OF MEET THE PRESS HALLELUJAH: Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA); Sen. Bill Cassidy (The Cult-LA). Also: John C. Calhoun will read excerpts from his new book, “How to Be Witty, Pretty, and Light.” CNN's State of the Union: Secretary of State Antony Blinken; Rep. Michael McCaul (MAGA Cult-TX); whoever Nikki Haley is. This Week: Antony Blinken; Senator Chris Coons (D-DE); Dr. Anthony Fauci; Gov. Chris Sununu (MAGA Cult-NH). Face the Nation: Kamala!!! Plus: Ret. Gen. Frank McKenzie on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks; Rep. French Hill (MAGA Cult-AR). Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: National Education Association President Becky Pringle; Gov. Glenn Youngkin (MAGA Cult-VA).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 8, 2013
CHEERS and JEERS to the monster of the Caribbean. Good news: Hurricane Dwight Eisenhower weakened after making landfall in Cuba, and it may not give C&J's winter retreat, Key West, the thrashing that was predicted. Bad news: It's still crushing everything in its path, and no one really knows what it'll do once it enters the gulf. And with that out of the way, let's spin Pat Robertson's Giant Throbbing Wheel of Blame and see who's responsible for this catastrophe:
[Bip bip bip bip bip bip...bip bip...bip...DING!]
Congratulations, left-handed gay feminist grocery-store baggers—this one is all your fault!
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And just one more...
CHEERS to an enduring enterprise. One way I kept my sanity during The Plague was a mandatory viewing of an episode of the ahead-of-its-time outer space saga that is the original Star Trek TV series, that does for our brain what a warm pair of slippers does for our feet. Today is the 57th anniversary of the premiere of what creator Gene Roddenberry called "Wagon Train to the Stars." The issues Trek took on—all handled so deftly by the writers and cast that Martin Luther King Jr. became a fan—still resonate and make the series eminently watchable today. (We still catch it every night at 8ET on the H&I network and live-tweet it for yucks at #allstartrek. Tonight’s episode is the classic The Galileo Seven.) Here's how William Shatner describes it in his autobiography, Up Till Now:
The general consensus among respected philosophers is that Star Trek was successful and has endured because our stories focused on universal themes—which of necessity took place elsewhere in the universe because they were about subjects that couldn’t be easily tackled by conventional programming. Gene Roddenberry once said that the real mission of the Enterprise was to search for intelligent life on the other side of the television set. While the grand theme of our five-year mission was always good versus evil, we also did stories about racism, sexism, authoritarianism, class warfare, imperialism, human and parahuman and alien rights, and the insanity of war. Nichelle Nichols and I shared the first interracial kiss on American television—which several southern stations refused to broadcast—although we were compelled to kiss by space aliens controlling our minds.
Today, then, is a good day to review the basics:
All I Need to Know About Life I learned from Star Trek • Seek out new life and civilizations. • Non-interference is the Prime Directive. • Keep your phaser set on stun. • Humans are highly illogical. • There's no such thing as a Vulcan death grip. • Live long and prosper. • Having is not so pleasing as wanting; it is not logical but it is often true. • Infinite diversity in infinite combinations (IDIC). • Tribbles hate Klingons (and Klingons hate Tribbles). Also: Don’t be the guy in the red shirt. It never ends well. • Enemies are often invisible—like Romulans, they can be cloaked. • Don't put all your ranking officers in one shuttlecraft. • When your logic fails, trust a hunch. • Insufficient data does not compute. • If it can't be fixed, just ask Scotty. • Even in our own world, sometimes we are aliens. • When going out into the Universe, remember: "Boldly go where no one has gone before!"
Also: don’t screw around with the transporter—it's not a #!!&$! toy. I realize that now. (Sorry, Grandma, wherever you and your scrambled atoms are.)
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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[END]
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