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Top Comments: Pizza, Potlucks & Community Edition [1]

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Date: 2023-09-04

I hope your Labor Day Weekend has been everything you hoped for and more. If you had today off, I hope you gave thanks to those labor movement activists who brought you weekends, paid time off, workplace safety regulations and an end to child labor. We had a relatively quiet weekend here at Casa Brillig, because while I was done with covid it was not done with me and I got the full rebound experience most of last week. I couldn’t in good conscience go be near people until I was sure I wasn’t contagious!

This is my third Labor Day diary, and I chose not to do another music one because I still stand by my choices in last year’s music diary. While I pondered what to write about that didn’t involve covid (or my lower back issues that have me in pain and seeing my PT for the first time this week, yay!) I came across a little thought nugget on a friend’s social media feed:

Fascinated by how the behavior of the people who took 3 pieces at the pizza party because they thought it would run out & the people who took 1 piece for the exact same reason is such a perfect encapsulation of American beliefs about community.

You just considered whether you’re a 1- or a 3- piecer, didn’t you? It’s OK, I did and then I made Mr. Brillig think about it too. (For the record, we’re both single-slicers with a caveat I’ll get to a little later). I didn’t ask K2 because I was unwilling to find out defininitevely that he’s a three-slicer. I mean, to be fair he’s also an 18 year old elite athlete and I think ‘single slice’ to him is like ‘one clove of garlic’ is to me, but still :-).

Years ago when I was a youth group leader, we’d sometimes order pizza for the group. We would tell everyone who was planning on eating the pizza was told what the Math said. In other words “OK everyone, we’ve got six pizzas, two cheese, two pepperoni and two veggie. Everyone can have 3 slices each, please make sure folks who don’t do meat or veggie get their share! Oh, and there’s a gluten-free crust for anyone who needs it (which we already knew). And after everyone had their share, if there were leftovers they somehow made sure it didn’t go to waste but no one felt left out.

Ahh, the general inherent fairness doctrine of youth. If only more adults felt the same way. You’ve been to adult gatherings where pizza was ordered and you just KNOW you’ll be stopping for food on your way home because the locusts who swarmed the table before you got close to the pizza boxes left crusts. Me, I’m the person in line who counts how many people are behind me, how many slices there are, and whether or not I can take one or claim I’m not really hungry because I know several of the folks behind me need the pizza more than I do.

This really is a metaphor for how different people look at community and resources here in the United States. There are many of us who believe there’s enough (food, water, housing, healthcare, human rights, etc) for all if everyone makes an effort. And then there are those who seem to feel they’re entitled to far more than they can EVER use simply because Reasons. As the saying goes:

“Equal rights for others does not mean less rights for you. It's not pie.”

I said earlier that for me there’s a caveat, didn’t I? Let’s assume that instead of a pizza party where everyone is sharing the same item… pizza… it’s a potluck. Imagine one of those large potlucks churches, towns, and school PTOs throw. Where you either choose a part of the meal and bring a dish, or you get assigned one. All the food ends up on a long set of tables and you go down the line putting food on your plate. For most people, there will be enough items that they like and can eat that somehow, they’ll put a plate together no matter what.

As any of you who read my food posts either here in Top Comments or in my regular Kos Diabetes Group posts, I’m a Type 2 diabetic who eats a low-carb, ketogenic diet to manage my condition. At almost any potluck you go to, there’s tray after dish after bowl of… carbohydrate-laden foods. And that’s FINE, it’s the Standard American Diet. But generally when I go to a potluck, I can eat (1) the dish I brought; and (2) maybe one other thing and then that cheese platter someone brought because they forgot to cook.

In that situation, I will ABSOLUTELY take three servings of whatever I brought and two, yes two, of those pounded grilled chicken breast portions. Because there are 185 servings of pasta salad, quinoa salad, macaroni-and-cheese, and 300 cookies that I cannot eat. And I will feel zero guilt.

I think this is a metaphor for Justice and Equity too. Giving everyone the SAME THING may look fair, but it isn’t. Giving me food I cannot eat isn’t fair. But if I get what I can eat, there’s leftover portions for the vegetarian, the kid who only eats macaroni and cheese, and the elderly gentleman who can only eat bland food so avoids the spicy taco meat.

I’d love to know what you think about Pizza, Potlucks, Community and whatever else you’re thinking about this Monday Evening! Peruse tonight’s Tops, then join us in the comments!

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