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Responding to Ukraine advances, Putin reveals army of mutant Trump clone Super Soldiers [1]
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Date: 2023-08-26
In a surprise announcement, Russian leader Vladimir Putin has revealed the Russian military is planning to field an unknown number of “super soldiers’ with enhanced abilities, derived from mutant clones of Donald J. Trump. This is seen as a response to recent advances on the battlefield by Ukraine, and as an appropriate response to the biowar labs Russia alleges Ukraine has.
Details are few and far between, but it is suspected Russia was able to obtain DNA samples from Trump during one of his visits to Moscow. Observers have noted that these Super Soldiers bear an uncanny resemblance to the Marvel Comics character Colossus — also Russian — but without his redeeming personality traits.
Instead, as the photo above shows, the clones appear to have inherited their progenitor’s desire to dominate others at all times. How they will actually operate in the field is untested; there’s no word on whether or not Russia has licked the bone spurs problem that kept the original from military service in the U.S. during the Vietnam War.
Some wags are already referring to the mutant Trump clone revealed at the event as “the Inedible Bulk”. There’s also speculation about potential lawsuits over copyright infringement, and possible demands for royalty payments to Trump. Donald Jr. and Eric have yet to comment over possibly being displaced as heirs to the Trump business empire/crime family.
Reactions from Republicans are mixed while they scramble to decide how to respond. Several GOP presidential hopefuls dropped out immediately on learning of the clones; one said “Sh*t — I was already afraid to confront Trump directly. No way am I going up against these guys.” Others were quick to point out that unless any of the clones were grown and decanted in America, they were barred as non-natives from running for the presidency. This would not bar them from Congress or the Supreme Court though.
The media has been caught off-balance. Efforts to line up interviews have failed to result in anything yet, but there’s a developing frenzy to be the first. Pentagon spokespersons have had little to comment on the record, but there have been allusions to some ‘dark’ unspecified programs that have been underway for some time.
As for President Biden’s reaction:
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[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/8/26/2189548/-Responding-to-Ukraine-advances-Putin-reveals-army-of-mutant-Trump-clone-Super-Soldiers
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