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Cheers and Jeers: Thursday [1]

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Date: 2023-08-03

Mailbag

Dear MAGA Cult, Voting is woke. Do with that what you will. Best regards, The Deep State

I think I’ll put little hearts over the i’s. Y’know...to show we care.

Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, August 3, 2023

Note: Whoever can guess what the mystery breakfast meat is in the C&J cafeteria this morning by taste alone gets a free ride to the ER. —Chef Not Jose Andres

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By the Numbers:

7 days!!!

Days 'til National Lighthouse Day: 4

Days 'til the 66th annual Sycamore Steam Show in Illinois: 7

Increase in vehicle sales over the last year: 18%

Job openings in June, down a bit from May: 9.6 million

Percent by which Covid-19 deaths among Republicans were higher than those of Democrats after the release of vaccines, according to a new study published in JAMA: 43%

Expected amount an Apple-1 computer from 1976 is expected to fetch at auction (original price was around $650): $200,000

Years, to the day, since "Macarena" started its 14-week reign at #1 on the Billboard pop chart, changing our way of life forever: 27

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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:

So, now all we know about John Roberts is that he has nice manners and is being managed by a bunch of morons—and he's willing to say what they spin for him. Then we start getting the record. He's defended the often violent Operation Rescue. He went to Florida to advise Jeb Bush during the 2000 election recount. Other Federalists, Timothy Flanigan (who's now in confirmation hearings for deputy attorney general) and Ted Olson (who became solicitor general of the United States) signed onto the brief to convince the Supremes to stop the count in Florida and install Bush. It's all classic, right-wing judicial activism—the very "activism" they complain bitterly about if it doesn't fit their radical agenda. —July, 2005

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Puppy Pic of the Day: Visiting Cape Cod? Chowdah can show you the way around…

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CHEERS to basking in the afterglow. For those of you just waking up from a pre-Tuesday bender, let me get you up to speed: the 45th president of the United States was indicted in a D.C. courtroom on felony counts of being a terrible, horrible, no-good, lying, election-sabotaging biological unit, and he faces a potential century behind bars. I know what you're thinking: Hey Billeh! Are there perhaps some takeaways that were helpfully provided by the media? Why yes, yes there are…

All very fine and useful (and I’d love some of whatever the folks at Yahoo! are smokin’). But the only “take away” I'll be looking for is the one that also includes the words “him” and "to prison."

CHEERS to his worst nightmare come true. She's a woman. She's Black. She's an Obama appointee. She's tough. She's smart. SHE'S WOKE!!! And she will brook no shenanigans. She is U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan. And worst of all for Donald Trump's January 6-related trial, she…

…has stood out as one of the toughest punishers of rioters who stormed the U.S. Capitol in an attack fueled by Trump’s baseless claims of a stolen election. She has also ruled against him before. […] Judge Tanya Chutkan “Every day we’re hearing about reports of anti-democratic factions of people plotting violence, the potential threat of violence, in 2024,” she said in December 2021 before sentencing a Florida man who attacked police officers to more than five years behind bars. At the time, that sentence was the longest for a Jan. 6 case. “It has to be made clear that trying to violently overthrow the government, trying to stop the peaceful transition of power and assaulting law enforcement officers in that effort is going to be met with absolutely certain punishment,” she said.

Will a judge overseeing one of Trump's many trials be able to hold him to account for his crimes? I say if anyone can, Chutkan.

CHEERS to reality-based pioneers. Today is John T. Scopes's 123rd birthday. He's the Tennessee high school teacher who was taken to court (the famous Scopes Monkey trial) for teaching evolution in class. His Kentucky gravestone labels him "A Man of Courage"—the understatement of the century given what a circus he went through. Pay your respects here. It'll drive the fundamentalist wackos so crazy they'll be flinging poo at each other all day.

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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CHEERS to great moments in human dampness. During this week in 1926, Gertrude Ederle became the first American woman to swim the English Channel. It took her 14½ hours. Know why? Because she kept stopping to check her makeup! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! This misogynist message brought to you by the National Consortium of Republican-Controlled State Legislatures, whose members just snorted milk out their noses.

CHEERS and JEERS to turning off the old-timey lights. Look, I know the planet is frying and we need to do whatever we can to help. But I admit I'll miss the light bulbs of my youth, which as of two days ago became pariahs to our nation’s sockets:

A rule issued in 2007, rolled back by the Trump administration, and updated last year by the Biden administration, effectively bans the sale of common incandescent light bulbs. The rule went fully into effect Tuesday, August 1. […] Poor Uncle Fester. The Department of Energy estimates the rules will save US consumers close to $3 billion on their utility bills, and project it will also cut planet-warming carbon emissions by 222 million metric tons over the next 30 years. You can continue to use whatever light bulbs you like, as long as they still work (incandescents have a much shorter life span than LEDs, on average, according to the Energy Department). The ban is only on the manufacture and sale of light bulbs that produce fewer than 45 lumens per watt—not the usage ofnon-conforming bulbs.

Also not affected: "doctors remove incandescent light bulb from patient's rectum" jokes. So rest easy, New York Post. You're headlines are still safe.

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Ten years ago in C&J: August 3, 2013

CHEERS to head games. When blog archaeologists dig this post up a thousand years from now, under supreme orders from the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I want them to know that I, Bill in Portland Maine, correctly predicted that this event was the turning point in the recognition of our True Spiritual Leader:

Lukas Novy, from Brno in the Czech Republic, claims that his Pastafarian faith means he has to wear the sieve at all times. Officials ruled that turning down Novy's request would be a breach of the country's religious equality laws. ... Novy claims to be a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster… Members claim to believe that an invisible alien made of spaghetti and meatballs created the universe after 'drinking heavily.'

And for being so prescient, I hope somebody in Futureville remembers to make me a saint. Saint Billeh, they'll call me. Billeh the Gaseous. And for the record: I support spaghetti.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to the birth of a meta legend. And here we are in August, 2023. Climate crisis? Clusterfuck. Supreme Court? Clusterfuck. Republican war on democracy? Clusterfuck. Russia’s campaign of terror against Ukraine? Cluster-you-know-what. Well, I have something to snap us out of them clusterfuck blues. Thanks to wayback-machine technology, we take you to August 3, 2006, when life was simple, cherub-faced children played stickball in the streets, and Daddy came home to find his slippers, pipe, newspaper, and supper waiting for him as the aroma of jasmine wafted on the warm summer breeze. Oh, and this ErrinF classic was at the top of the DKos charts:

I want out of this farce of a website. … Like some sort of cult, I was welcomed in freely but am now being barred from leaving. Since I can't delete my account myself, my only recourse is to be as abrasive and disruptive as I can be UNTIL MY ACCOUNT GETS DELETED. As long as my account remains here, I do not feel comfortable leaving. Is it really such a tough request to delete my account so I can go? Just what kind of website lets you join up but won't let you leave? One that regards people as little more than statistics, that's what. How like the Democratic Party for Kos to view his site's members as little more than statistics. DELETE MY FUCKING ACCOUNT, KOS.

And for a brief moment, if you close your eyes and take a deep breath, unicorns romp once again in the Fields of the Great Orange Satan. And I swear I'm catching a whiff of jasmine in the breeze.

Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "I will tell you, there is no round table, no lecture, no invitation we will accept to debate an undeniable fact: there are no redeeming qualities of Cheers and Jeers." —Vice President Kamala Harris

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[END]
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[1] Url: https://dailykos.com/stories/2023/8/3/2184657/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Thursday

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