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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1]

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Date: 2023-08-02

“Anything to say, sir?” I ask with tears in my eyes

Via The Lincoln Project: the crimiest president in the entire history of the country and the entire world since the time of Jesus—what a great, great man Jesus was, even with the crown, believe me—reacts to his shiny new indictments….

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To be continued. Please stand by—and also stand back, as we expect there will be a lot of MAGA spittle and flopsweat flying through the air today.

Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Note: If this kiddie pool's a' rockin’, what the hell are you people doing?

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By the Numbers:

2 days!!!

Days 'til the start of the Labor Day weekend: 30

Days 'til the North Barnford Potato & Corn Festival in Connecticut: 2

Number of unique book titles that were the subject of censorship attempts in 2022, according to the American Library Association: 2,571

Percent increase in 2022 censorship activity versus 2021: 38%

Number of Lyme disease cases reported in Maine so far this season according to the Maine CDC, just slightly below last year's number: 753

Weeks since 1920 that have brought in more box office revenue for the AMC Theater chain than last week, thanks to Barbie and Oppenheimer: 0

Age of Paul "Pee-wee Herman" Reubens when he died of cancer Sunday: 70

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Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 3 date settings and 1 thing that can be "almost as tough as waiting for the Second Coming"). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.

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Puppy Pic of the Day: Bath time…

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CHEERS to Things That Go "Boom," Part 1. Always fun watching the MAGA cultists rig traps to ensnare Democrats a la Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the road runner. As I've always said, there is no furniture of their own making that they won’t bump into. Case in point: Monday's closed-door interrogation by the House Self-immolation Committee of "star witness" and Hunter Biden business pal Devon Archer. Seems the Republicans on the committee thought ol' Dev would prove once and for all that the "Biden crime family" is a real live actual crime family. Just one little problem, according to Democratic Rep. Dan Goldman, who attended the hearing:

"[Devon Archer] was Hunter Biden's business partner from 2013 to2016, and he was most notably on the board of Burisma with Hunter Biden," Goldman said. "What he testified to yesterday completely absolves Joe Biden of any involvement in Hunter Biden's business world.” “[T]he witness testimony was very clear that Joe Biden was not involved in any of their business dealings. Joe Biden got no benefit, Joe Biden did not change any of his actions for the benefit of his son in any way, shape or form."

Please remove your hat and place your hand over your heart as we toss the Hunter Biden investigation on the pile of GOP nothingburgers along with Benghazi, Solyndra, Hillary's Emails, Obama's Tan Suit, Government "Weaponization," and forcing school cafeterias to use only communist ingredients in their tater tots. Godspeed and thanks for all the, um…all the nothing.

CHEERS to Things That Go "Boom," Part II. Then we have MAGA Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville, who thought holding up hundreds of military promotions and appointments to protest the military's abortion policies would be an excellent way to curry favor with our Commander-in-Chief. Let's see how that's going:

President Joe Biden has decided to keep U.S. Space Command headquarters in Colorado, overturning a last-ditch decision by the Trump administration to move it to Alabama. … Biden's decision enraged Alabama lawmakers and is sure to fuel accusations that abortion politics played a role in the choice.

Colorado lawmakers, like Senator Michael Bennet, say the decision "restores integrity to the Pentagon's basing process and sends a strong message that national security and the readiness of our Armed Forces drive our military decisions." And if you rearrange some of the letters in that statement, they spell out "Bite Me, Tommy." And the little banjo on my knee, too.

CHEERS to smart war management. 162 years ago, in 1861, President Lincoln signed into law the first federal income tax. He felt it was fiscally responsible because we were waging a civil war. Today red-hatted Republicans would tar Lincoln as a tax-and-spend liberal and hold the surrender ceremony at Appomattox hostage until he backed down and repealed it. And after Abe got done with them, there'd be a lot of weepy Republicans pulling their red hats out of their asses.

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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x The average giraffe sleeps for 4.6 hours per day. They can sleep standing up as well as lying down, and their sleep cycles are quite short, lasting 35 minutes or shorter.



This newborn one is still not sure what to do with his neck while taking a nappic.twitter.com/i54X0GU1zg — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) July 30, 2023

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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JEERS to a first-class slacker. On August 2, 1923, Warren Harding's heart went kerflooey and he died with his boots on in a San Francisco hotel at the ripe young age of 58. Although he won his 1920 election in a landslide and was popular while in office, his legacy quickly tarnished. In their book Rating the Presidents, William Ridings Jr. and Stuart McIver (along with 719 historians) rank Harding dead last. But our previous occupant of the White House is well on his way to bumping Harding up to #45 on the list, and they won’t have to tweak their conclusions much to fit Lord Dampnut:

Participants in the Ridings-McIver Presidential poll agree overwhelmingly that Harding deserves low marks for his poor performance in every category. “I am not fit for the office and should never have been here.”

—Warren Harding His best rating, for the Political Skill category, apparently for his impressive election margin, was only thirty-eighth. He was ranked our worst president in the Leadership and Appointments category and next to last in the Accomplishments and Crisis Management and the Character and Integrity categories. Descriptive comments include such remarks as "out of his depth" and “over his head." The presidency demands a person versed in and interested in the great domestic and foreign issues of the time. Alas, Harding was interested mainly in poker, bootleg bourbon, and willing women. He was, sadly, just a small-town politician, an average man in a job that demanded far more than an average man could deliver, or as poll participants describe him, "an amiable fool, incompetent, inept, corrupt, immoral."

On the upside, he had normal-size hands, wasn’t a slumlord, and didn’t use classified documents as cocktail napkins.

CHEERS to the new kid on the bench. Wisconsin Democrats have a very good reason to take an extended victory lap this week. Because as of yesterday…

The Wisconsin Supreme Court flips to liberal control for the first time in 15 years…with the start of the term of a new justice who made abortion rights a focus of her winning campaign. … [Janet] Protasiewicz's win carries tremendous weight in Wisconsin, a battleground where the state Supreme Court has been the last word on some of the biggest political and policy battles of the past decade-plus. Welcome to the big bench, Your Honor. The conservative-controlled court came within one vote of overturning President Joe Biden's narrow win in the state in 2020, though Biden still would have had enough electoral votes to claim the presidency. More battles over voting rules and elections are expected leading up to 2024, along with challenges to the state's abortion ban, Republican-drawn political boundary lines and a host of other hot-button political issues.

Like ideological doppelganger Ron DeSantis in Florida, Governor Scott Walker—now blessedly gone—wielded ruthless power, backed by his state Supreme Court toadies, to turn the state government into a virtual right-wing dictatorship. It cannot be stressed enough how hard Wisconsin Democrats (special shout-out to tireless Democratic party chair Ben Wikler) worked to undo the damage, and yesterday's swearing-in heralds a final burning down of the Walker empire. To celebrate, I suggest…um….hey, I know: let's eat cheese!

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Ten years ago in C&J: August 2, 2013

JEERS to the chattering class. In case you missed it, the State Department issued a worldwide travel alert because apparently al Qaeda has been all like, "Blah Blah Blah Kill the Infidels Blah Blah Blah" on their iphones and courier pigeon messages. This comes at the same time that a couple dozen of our embassies have been closed for at least a week in the Middle East and parts north, east, south and west somewhat. I have to say, I'm not used to having these alerts issued on a low-key, case-by-case basis by the Obama administration instead of Bush-Cheney's 24/7 color-coded terror threat system constantly reminding us that you could die anytime! In fact, I felt so discombobulated when I heard the latest alert I instinctively wrapped myself in a Twister mat. (Vigilance on yellow, fight-or-flight instinct on RED!)

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And just one more…

CHEERS to blowing this popsicle stand. With the lazy dog days of August here, I thought I'd head over to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory site and see what'll be up yonder this month as we drift down the nearest lazy river at night takin' in the starshine and other celestial what-nots. This month’s big events are The Saturn Show and some cosmic swan diving. Here's NASA's Preston Dyches with a preview:

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If you missed last night's full “Sturgeon” moon, there's a "blue moon" coming up later this month. As always, don’t forget to go outside, think of Neil Armstrong, and wink at the full moon, followed by the tradition August post-wink mantra: "Ouch! F*cking mosquitoes..."

Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Leah Anduiza, who posts on TikTok as @thetruthaboutparasites, is not telling her 47,000 followers to add a little spinach to a fruit smoothie for an extra boost of iron. Instead, she’s making a solution of borax and Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool water, a concoction she says she drinks daily with her morning coffee. —Vox

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/8/2/2184437/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday

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