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Caturday Pootie Diary: The night shift [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2023-07-15
The human doesn’t know this, but I do a lot of things while she’s asleep. She seems to think I spend the whole night curled up next to her.
This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I have things to do.
I am very busy.
She sleeps so deep that she doesn’t hear me while I go about my business at night. I used to worry a lot about this – what if we get attacked by ducks?! – but I realized that she is simply feels safe because I’m here to watch over her. I have sharp teeth and claws to handle any predators who might see her as an easy snack.
Not on my watch.
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The human was curled on her side, asleep. She likes to sleep in the same position all the time, not seeming to understand the joy of sleeping with a twisted back or with her face pressed into the blankets. I smelled her exposed face to see if she could be woken up enough to pet me, but she was out. Softly snoring, she had no sense that a skilled hunter was watching her.
Humans are wildly oblivious to the dangers around them in general, but my human might be more oblivious than most.
I jumped off the big soft platform where she sleeps when the sun is gone (why doesn’t she sleep in the sunshine where it’s warm?) and made my way to the bathroom. The human keeps a dish of water mostly filled for me to drink from. Mostly, because she doesn’t always notice when it gets low. I have to sometimes complain loudly to get her attention.
It was full on this night, so I drank deeply. The summer nights are so warm inside that I get thirsty much faster. It’s important to stay hydrated when you have a busy night.
I like to make a lap around the perimeter of the house several times during the night. I am a very responsible human owner and I like to make sure they are safe. I also study the outside from every window I have access to, just to make sure there’s no shifty animals lurking.
Humans may be docile and oblivious to their environment, but creatures of fur, feathers, and scales are not. And some of them are not trustworthy.
They don’t always respect my territory and have to be taught.
So far, things were quiet.
I paused my prowling.
Was it too quiet?
I listened intently. The human murmured softly in her sleep while the spiders crouched in their webs and the crickets sang. Everything was peaceful, even the thing on the stairs.
I relaxed. It was shaping up to be a quiet night.
Then I heard it. A shuffling sound from the backyard.
I let out a low growl. Something had invaded my territory.
I lowered my body so that the fur of my belly brushed the ground and crawled carefully but quickly into the room where the humans lounged in the evening. I came to a stop at the edge of the couch and peeked around it toward the window.
Something was out there.
I could see it move furtively across the patio.
Did it want my kibble?
Well, it couldn’t have it!
I shot out of my hiding space like a missile and hit the window with a muffled bonk in front of the creature, startling it so badly it died.
Just keeled right over onto it’s side.
I paused, listening in case my attack had woken the human.
She was still snoring.
I snorted softly. Hopeless human.
Creeping closer to the window, I examined the intruder. It wasn’t moving and I was very satisfied. “This is my territory,” I whispered to it.
It shook itself awake and I jumped back.
Possum.
Shifty, lying possum.
It turned it’s long face to me, bared it’s teeth, and hissed.
I hissed right back.
It ambled away, passing out of my sight slowly.
I knew it was pretending to be nonchalant. Inside, it definitely was very frightened after it’s encounter with me. “And don’t come back,” I whispered in the direction it had gone.
Had it come for my kibble? I decided it was prudent to check.
I trotted into the kitchen and found my bowl.
Half empty.
Not ideal.
I didn’t smell any possum near it, so that was a positive.
I nibbled a little, just to make sure it still tasted good, then left the kitchen.
The human was stirring. I could tell because her breathing changed a little and her snoring stopped. I jogged up the stairs and back to her sleeping platform.
“Hey, little guy,” she croaked, rolling over to take a sip of water from the glass on her nightstand.
I waited for her to finish and lie back down on her back. As soon as she was prone again, I climbed onto her chest to let her pet me.
I’m generous like that.
“Such a good boy,” she praised as she petted me. Did she know about the possum?
Her petting hand grew heavier and slower as she drifted back to sleep. I climbed off her. Leaning down to her I whispered, “Sleep well, human. I’ll keep you safe.”
Happy Caturday, Peeps! It’s so nice to have the protection of an apex predator. As long as there are no ducks around.
[END]
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