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Artificial intelligence can write for television, asterisk, dagger, etc. [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2023-07-10

A lot of people are raving about ChatGPT. Theoretically, it can be a great tool for small business owners to get a lot of writing work done that they can’t afford to hire real writers for. But of course executives at big movie and television studies are also thinking that they could use ChatGPT to replace those pesky human writers with their silly demands for fair salaries and profit sharing.

Artificial intelligence (AI) can write for television. But there are several caveats. First, you need a good prompt. Then you need to know how to guide the AI to tweak what it generated in response to the first prompt.

I decided to give it a try. What’s a nice, formulaic show with lots of existing episodes (so that the large language model AI has enough material to go off of) that’s no longer in production (so as to not give further encouragement to the studio executives)?

Okay, how about The Big Bang Theory? It ran for a dozen years and spun off the much better show Young Sheldon, a show that will hopefully come back for Season 7 in the fall with all Writers Guild of America writers getting paid fairly.

I asked ChatGPT to write an episode of Big Bang in which Sheldon gets bitten in the hand by a cat and Leonard takes credit for a black woman’s discovery. A studio executive might think of Sheldon getting bit in the hand by a cat, and maybe he would think of Leonard taking credit for another white man’s discovery rather than a black woman’s. But let’s roll with this premise.

Here’s what ChatGPT generated in full. I have not edited this other than to add back in a bunch of linebreaks that got lost in the copy and paste. It’s not long. Please read it and let’s discuss it afterwards.

Title: "The Cat Bite Conundrum" INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - DAY The gang is gathered in the living room. Sheldon sits on the couch, nursing a bandaged hand. Leonard, Raj, Howard, and Penny watch him with concern. LEONARD (looking worried) Sheldon, are you sure you're okay? That cat bite looks pretty bad. SHELDON (frantically) Of course, I'm not okay, Leonard! I've been infected with the dreaded bacteria known as Pasteurella multocida. If left untreated, it could lead to complications, like pneumonia or sepsis. LEONARD Well, you're going to the doctor, right? SHELDON (grumpily) Yes, Leonard, I am. But the real tragedy here is that this could have all been avoided if you hadn't insisted on taking credit for my groundbreaking discovery. LEONARD (confused) What discovery are you talking about, Sheldon? FLASHBACK: INT. CALTECH LAB - DAY Sheldon stands at a lab bench, examining a petri dish. Dr. Davis, an African-American scientist in her mid-40s, approaches him. DR. DAVIS Sheldon, have you made any progress with your experiment? SHELDON (excitedly) Actually, I've discovered a novel protein interaction that could have significant implications for our understanding of quantum mechanics! DR. DAVIS (impressed) That's incredible, Sheldon. Your hard work has paid off. We should publish this together. It would be a milestone in both our careers. BACK TO PRESENT: INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - DAY Sheldon continues to recount the story. SHELDON That was when you barged into the lab, Leonard, claiming the discovery as your own. You even presented it at the symposium without acknowledging Dr. Davis or me. LEONARD (defensive) I didn't know you were working with Dr. Davis, Sheldon. It was an honest mistake. RAJ (supportive) But you should've done your due diligence, Leonard. Give credit where credit is due. HOWARD (nods) Yeah, it's not cool to take someone else's work and pretend it's your own. PENNY (sympathetic) Sheldon, I'm sorry you're going through this. Leonard, you need to make things right. LEONARD (realizing his mistake) You're right, Penny. Sheldon, I apologize for not recognizing your work and stealing your thunder. I'll go to the symposium organizers and correct the record. SHELDON (nods) Thank you, Leonard. It means a lot to me. INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY Sheldon sits in a doctor's office, still nursing his hand. Dr. Patel, a middle-aged Indian doctor, examines him. DR. PATEL (looking at Sheldon's hand) Well, the good news is the infection hasn't spread. With the antibiotics, you should make a full recovery. SHELDON (relieved) That's a relief, Dr. Patel. Thank you for your help. EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY Leonard stands outside the apartment building, looking determined. He takes a deep breath and heads towards his car. INT. SYMPOSIUM HALL - DAY Leonard stands at the podium, addressing a large audience. Behind him, a slide with Sheldon's and Dr. Davis's names is displayed prominently. LEONARD (sincerely) Ladies and gentlemen, before I begin, I need to make a correction. The groundbreaking discovery I presented earlier was a collaborative effort with Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Monique Davis. It was their hard work and dedication that led to this breakthrough, and I must acknowledge them both for their invaluable contributions. The crowd applauds, and Sheldon, Dr. Davis, and the gang sit together, proud of the acknowledgment. CLOSING SCENE: INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The gang gathers in the living room, celebrating Sheldon's recovery and Leonard's honesty. SHELDON (smiling) Thank you, Leonard. Your gesture means a lot to me. I appreciate your integrity. LEONARD (grateful) I should have known better, Sheldon. Science is about collaboration and recognizing the efforts of others. I'm sorry I didn't uphold those principles. They clink their glasses together, and laughter fills the room. FADE OUT.

Okay, it’s very good for something that was generated in less than a minute. As usual, I thanked ChatGPT for its work. Then I moved on to something else.

But to get this to a workable shooting script for a 22-minute episode, I would need to guide ChatGPT through a lot of editing. For one thing, I was hoping for the scene in which Sheldon actually gets bitten.

Like maybe Sheldon’s walking back from the comic book store when a sad cat meows at him. After some hesitation, Sheldon pets the cat, the cat purrs. Then Sheldon notices the poor animal has a thorn in one of his hind legs, so Sheldon tries to remove it.

The cat, misunderstanding Sheldon’s good intentions, gets angry and bites Sheldon in the hand. There’s bleeding, but no swelling. Sheldon spots an urgent care clinic nearby and walks in.

Also, why doesn’t Sheldon mention necrotizing fasciitis and the possible need to amputate his hand, a rare complication from a cat bite? Like maybe Leonard, instead of being supportive, would dismiss the cat bite as nothing, leading Sheldon to rattle off some of the very worst case scenarios.

Regina King, Idris Elba, Edi Gathegi and RJ Cyler attend "The Harder They Fall" World Premiere during the 65th BFI London Film Festival at The Royal Festival Hall on October 06, 2021 in London, England.

I had hoped ChatGPT would put in something about the “Soft Kitty” song. Like maybe Penny starts to sing it for Sheldon, but then stops, thinking it insensitive, and instead improvises lyrics for “Soft Puppy.”

A singing scene for Penny would probably bump off for time the insignificant scene with Dr. Patel, M.D., if we had closer to enough material for a full episode.

Now let’s turn our attention to Leonard’s storyline, which I was expecting to be more independent of Sheldon’s storyline. I don’t think “Dr. Monique Davis” is a new character. ChatGPT was probably thinking about Mrs. Janine Davis, the human resources director played by Regina King in a few episodes.

So maybe we think of a different last name for Monique, and hope casting calls on a black actress other than Regina King or Vernee Watson (who might get called on to play a sassy black nurse in this episode).

I suppose it is possible for “a novel protein interaction” to “have significant implications” for quantum mechanics, though I doubt it. That’s something I would want to run by the show’s science consultant, David Saltzberg, a human being whose job might be no safer than a writer’s.

Still, the discovery is left vague enough that most viewers wouldn’t question whether it makes any sense at all. However, the way that Leonard comes to take credit for the discovery is also left very vague, and that the viewers might take issue with.

Perhaps most importantly, the resolution of the conflict between Leonard and Sheldon feels too pat, even if we padded the episode out with scenes of Leonard refusing to admit his dishonesty.

As I have said before elsewhere, human writers make mistakes, too. One particularly frustrating mistake was in the Big Bang episode “The Beta Test Initiation,” in which Leonard shoots himself in the foot on a date with Penny at the gun range.

That was a missed opportunity for a talk about gun safety. It should’ve been a serious injury requiring Leonard to go to the hospital and spend the next few episodes with crutches. A doctor should’ve said it could have been worse, they might have needed to amputate Leonard’s foot.

Instead, it was just good for a few laughs about Leonard’s supposedly deficient masculinity, and then it was completely forgotten by the next episode. And don’t give me “it’s just a sitcom.” My idea of Leonard being on crutches for a few episodes has plenty of comedic storytelling potential.

Like maybe self-centered Sheldon remarking that since Leonard’s car is an automatic and the hapless shooter shot himself in the left foot (I’m assuming), Leonard can still drive Sheldon to work.

The Big Bang Theory is a better show than I give it credit for. It’s certainly better than anything that an artificial intelligence, lacking the life experiences of a human writer, could possibly produce. The human learning of the Big Bang writers is paying off in Young Sheldon.

Maybe AI can deliver short term profits for the studio executives. But it won't deliver the level of quality scripts that only humans with life experience can write. If the studio executives insist on using AI to replace writers, they might instead succeed in convincing people to shut off their TVs and go outside and play.

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