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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1]
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Date: 2023-07-07
Happy 77th Anniversary, Jimmy and Rosalynn Cheers to the union of two national treasures. I looked it up and the traditional 77th-year gift is—[checks notes]—anything they damn well want.
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, July 7, 2023
Note: This is to inform you that today is World Chocolate Day. I think you can take it from here.
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By the Numbers:
7 days!!!
Days 'til Pecan Pie Day: 5
Days 'til the 23rd annual Marysville Peach Festival in California: 7
Number of signatures needed to put a question to Ohio voters in November codifying abortion rights into the state constitution: 413,000
Number of signatures gathered by Ohioans for Reproductive Freedom and Protects Choice Ohio by the deadline: 710,131
Number of lifetime judgeships President Biden has gotten confirmed: 136
Percent of his confirmed appointees who are women: 70%
Percent of his confirmed appointees who are people of color: 64%
Year that attorney Lin Wood got his law license, which he gave up this week rather than be disbarred for his role in helping Trump try to steal the 2020 election: 1977
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans…
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CHEERS to budget jiu-jitsu for kids. It may appear like a light wind gust could knock him over, but don’t underestimate Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers (D). In five years he's helped thwart the worst excesses of the MAGA cult-led legislature that fueled eight years of Scott Walker’s dictatorship, and his latest act of merry pranksterism has Republicans fuming at their book burnings:
Gov. Tony Evers, a former public school educator, used his broad partial veto authority this week to sign into law a new state budget that increases funding for public schools for the next four centuries. Tony, you sly dog. The surprise move will ensure districts' state-imposed limits on how much revenue they are allowed to raise will be increased by $325 per student each year until 2425, creating a permanent annual stream of new revenue for public schools and potentially curbing a key debate between Democrats and Republicans during each state budget-writing cycle. […] Evers crafted the four-century school aid extension by striking a hyphen and a "20"from a reference to the 2024-25 school year. The increase of $325 per student is the highest single-year increase in revenue limits in state history.
Well done. Cheese for everyone.
JEERS to valet dancing. I suppose I should get us all updated from time to time on what the heck's going on with the 37-count indictment currently simmering in the legal crock pot of special counsel Jack Smith. [Sigh] If we must. The latest is that some of the redacted language from the Mar-a-Lago search warrant executed last year has been unredacted. And to no one's surprise, Trump ordered his valet Walt Nauta to move boxes of classified documents from a pool deck chair to a secret sex den next to the cocaine dispensary just days before the FBI swooped in:
During that June 3, 2022, visit, law enforcement officials were handed an envelope of 38 classified documents and told that all records sought by a subpoena were being turned over and that a “diligent search” of the home had been done. I still cannot believe what I see in this photo. And DOJ continues treating the hoarder-in-chief like a king. The movement of boxes by Nauta was detailed in last month’s indictment, but its inclusion in the search warrant affidavit helps explain why the Justice Department felt it had probable cause to search Trump’s home on Aug. 8, 2022,and why investigators were concerned that documents were being intentionally withheld from them. The affidavit does not mention Nauta by name, but the dates of the actions—as well as of an FBI interview “during which the location of boxes was a significant subject of questioning”—line up with the dates cited in the indictment.
After a series of delays (including getting turned down by nearly every attorney in America), Walt the Very Bad Valet finally showed up in a Miami courtroom yesterday where he was arraigned on crimey business. The attorneys for the prosecution of Nauta said they were confident their evidence had boxed him in. To preserve decorum in the courtroom, the judge limited the ensuing gales of laughter to five minutes.
JEERS to going out with a bing. Oh dear...when you're a fierce and legendary general who becomes President of the United States, it's gotta be a little embarrassing to die from eating bad fruit. But that's what happened 173 years ago this Sunday to "#12" Zachary Taylor. I believe his last words were: "Bad cherries??? No way. Seriously, guys, this is a joke, right?" Sorry, dude—life is just a bowl of you-know-whats.
The last cherry stem tied by Taylor with his tongue is currently on display in the Smithsonian’s “Ick!” wing.
Pay your respects here. And then try to remember who succeeded him without going to the Google or the Wiki. (Hint: it wasn't Millard Fillmore. Oh, wait, yes it was. Crap...I meant to write Gerald Ford. Now you know why I’m not a professor. Or a quizmaster.)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x Tumbling is an excellent example of the beautiful harmony between athleticism and physics, showcasing principles like momentum, angular momentum, torque, and energy transfer.
Credit: FIGpic.twitter.com/t7fBi8m62K — Wonder of Science (@wonderofscience) July 1, 2023
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to justice by the carton. Twenty-four years ago today, in the first class-action lawsuit of its kind to go to trial, a jury in Miami held cigarette makers liable for making a defective product that causes emphysema, lung cancer and other nasties in adults. Big Tobacco and, later, Big Vape, learned a valuable lesson from the verdict: go after the kids instead.
CHEERS to home vegetation. It's the middle of summer, and you really should spend the weekend outside burning brats, drinking beer and causing horrible gaping wounds with lawn darts and gender-reveal explosives. So all you're getting tonight is the briefest mention of what's on the tube, starting, as usual, with the MSNBC crew, who will digest today’s Friday news dumps and provide the meaning of it all or your money back. Or at 8 you can join me and fans of the original Trek series at #allstartrek for live-tweeting of tonight’s classic episode (on the H&I Network) The Deadly Years during which a disease causes the crew to age rapidly.
Best thing on TV if you're stoned. (Or so I hear.)
The new movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (Nothing major until Mission Impossible: Tom Cruise Stunt-a-Thon Part VII opens on Wednesday.)
Sports schedules: MLB here, WNBA here, and the U.S. Women’s Open golf tourney airs on NBC tomorrow and Sunday afternoon and evening.
On 60 Minutes: encore reports on the future of artificial intelligence and actor Nicholas Cage. And Sunday night at 10 take your pick: the season premiere of the reboot of The $100,000 Pyramid airs with RuPaul among the contestants, or a new episode of the megachurch-skewering HBO series The Righteous Gemstones. Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Govs. Phil Murphy (D-NJ) and Doug Burgum (The Cult-ND). Also Sunday: Dark Brandon for breakfast. This Week: Badass President of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelenskyy; White House NSC Coordinator for Strategic Communications John Kirby. Face the Nation: Gov. Spencer Cox (The Cult-UT); Ukrainian Ambassador Oksana Markarova. CNN's State of the Union: Rock star Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA); Rep. Michael McCaul (The Cult-TX). Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Sens. Tim Kaine (D-VA) and creepy John Barrasso (The Cult-WY); Chris Christie.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 7, 2013
JEERS to the root of all the universe's problems. Since the extended July 4th holiday tends to turn my brain to mush, I need a refresher on the list of things for which the Obama White House is currently "under fire," according to the beltway media and their lapdog pundits. So here it is:
Egypt, Syria, Israel/Palestine, health care, surveillance overreach, thunderclouds, world hunger, litter in national parks, unemployment, Alec Baldwin's latest tirade, baggy pants, car trouble, Glenn Greenwald's twitter feed, the heat, the humidity, the shrinking number of daylight hours, judicial nominees, gun-control legislation, gas prices, skyrocketing student loans, an American not winning Wimbledon, chaos in the helium reserve, the crazy jet stream, the giant asteroid headed straight for us, plus the one next to it, and the size of this font.
I'll post the second half of the list tomorrow. Assuming he doesn't get impeached over those asteroids first.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to endurance. Just adding this to our above-the-fold pic, because they deserve more ink: best-ex-president-ever Jimmy and First Lady Rosalynn Carter have been together so long that it's impossible to think of one without thinking of the other. Today they celebrate their 77th anniversary. As for the secret of their longevity, it's pretty simple, they told Judy Woodruff a couple years back:
Rosalynn Carter: Well, I think we give each other space and we try to do things together. We're always looking for things we can do together, like birding and fly-fishing and just anything we can find to do together. Awarding the Carters the Medal of Freedom was a no-brainer. Two of our country’s brightest lights. President Jimmy Carter: At the end of the day, we try to become reconciled and overcome all the differences that arose during the day. We also make up and give each other a kiss before we go to sleep still in bed. And we always read the Bible every night, which adds a different aspect to life. So, we really try to become completely reconciled each night before we go to sleep. […] And we have had to live a quite restricted life the last year or so with the problem with the virus. But we have succeeded very well. And I think, in general, that handicap in movement has brought us even closer together. So that's one thing for which I'm thankful.
This year, as with the others—and Jimmy’s hospice care be damned—they’ll resort to tradition: robbing banks. If I may say, Rosalynn leaves a mean set of Studebaker skid marks.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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[END]
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