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Stay and make it better [1]

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Date: 2023-07-05

I covered a Pride proclamation at my county courthouse a few weeks ago. One of the speakers was a priest of a grassroots online Catholic church. They’re not formally recognized by Rome, but the congregation follows basic precepts of the practice with some minor exceptions. Like for instance, the priest I met was married and has a son. And he’s gay.

He gave a rousing declaration that our county would henceforth be open and friendly to all who came across it. “Where strangers become friends” were his words.

A county commissioner from the neighboring county addressed the crowd, noting that she grew up here and “I’ve been gay since I was 2”. Now she’s pushing 60, and she’s made our area her home and focus.

The director of the county arts council was the one who put on the proclamation, and the council was hosting a drag event, concert by a transgender native of the county, and showing Pride-adjacent movies at the two county theaters the whole month of June. She stood beaming behind a table draped with the Ally Flag.

As time came for the proclamation, most of the county children and youth services department walked out of their building to come to the speeches.

At 10 a.m. on a Thursday in the middle of our county seat, close to 60 individuals came out to read the proclamation and show their support for Pride.

2 weeks later and 50 miles away, the neighboring County’s seat hosted its second annual Pride event, which rented out a black box theater and hosted more than a dozen organizations like an lgbtq-friendly Christian church ministered by a gay preacher, a high school organization from the local school, and the local university’s Pride office. (I wrote about the first such event in one of my older stories. I was on vacation and couldn’t make this one.)

Another theater in my county is hosting read-alongs for kids in nearby towns. When kids finish a book, they get to watch the movie adaption for free. (The three movie theaters in this county are all run by non-profits. Which is good because they’d be shuttered if they attempted to be profitable.)

Local school libraries have (quietly) stocked BIPOC and lgbtq authored-books and the kids read them. A local school’s salutatorian said her senior year was the safest and happiest she’s felt all throughout high school, and she’s trans.

It’s a long list.

It’s a list of good folks doing good things for those that need it. It’s full of interesting and new approaches. It’s taking place in a deep red rural county that would rather die than support any of that stuff on the state and federal level.

But when it’s small, hyper-local, disassociated from national organizations. When it’s not specifically a Democratic party event. When viewers of Fox and Newsmax and OAN are convinced that this thing is different than what they see on TV, when local elected officials just dont say anything at all about it, it works.

Last year during the height of right-wing media’s “groomer” fixation a local Pride event was protested. This year two of them went off without a hiccup. Because no matter how dedicated local bigots (I call them ‘Phobes’) are to hate, good folks are more so dedicated to love and acceptance.

My county is a long way from calling itself “progressive” and “welcoming” but there’s a ton more effort being put into that pursuit than when I was a kid. The George Floyd killing really did wake up and activate a lot of local progressives who want to be active anti-racists, not just passive allies. The rampant anti-lgbt attacks has had a similar effect.

It’s not all pickles and rainbows, that nearby school with the trans Salutatorian had 100 phobes show up at a school board meeting demanding she and students like her not use their preferred bathrooms. That school board will be run by a majority of those phobes after November. My own local school board exists in a quieter reality, but I’m personally locked in an ugly race for a school board seat against an angry phobe trying to bring maga to the classroom.

But my county is getting better. I think. We’re at least trying. It’s hard. There’s not a lot of us (we have a FB group where we communicate) but we’re getting better at things. I wish some of my classmates from high school who left because they didn’t feel welcome could see it now. It’s not great, but it’s getting better.

I read an AP story about conservative Americans flocking to Florida and Idaho and other “red” states and progressive Americans similarly flocking to “blue” areas like California, New York, and progressive-ish cities like Austin, TX and Raleigh, NC. Good for those folks.

My message?

Go, especially if you feel unsafe/unloved. Prioritize you. But if you think you can, and you want to make the world you come from a bit better of a place, consider staying. Find a group that does something good and join up. My previous post is titled “B**** it’s gonna have to be you” because for some of us, that’s all there is. For one reason or another we’re here in the small towns with the MAGA hats and the confederate flags and we’re not leaving. We’re trying to make it better where we are.

The gay priest I spoke about? Grew up here, and “ran away for 25 years” before deciding to return to his roots and make our county a little bit better with his presence.

Again I wont blame anyone for leaving. Go where you can prosper. We’re just trying to bring that prosperity here. Here, with our little flower shops and restaurants that are mostly just bars and our ‘every business closes at 5 pm’ and our movie theaters that choose to not make money so they can host drag events. We’re trying. We could use your help.

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