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Caturday Pootie Diary: So you've decided to adopt a human [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2023-07-01
Deciding to take on the care and keeping of a human is a very important and difficult decision. It is not to be made lightly or without careful consideration. I’ve taken over the page today to share some of my experience with you, so that you might go into human keeping with your ears and nose wide open.
A gentle reminder of how we do things: 🐱🐶🐦 Do not troll the diary. If you hate pootie diaries, leave now. No harm, no foul.
Please do share pics of your fur kids! If you have health/behavior issues with your pets, feel free to bring it to the community.
Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Birds... are birds! Peeps are people.
Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. If you’re having “issues” with another Kossack, keep it “out there.” This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly. There are some pics we never post: snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated. If we alert you to it, please remember that we do have phobic peeps who react strongly to them. If you keep posting banned pics...well then...the Tigress will have to take matters in hand. Or, paw.
Pro:
The human will serve you if you teach them how. They are obedient creatures, if given the right motivation. They will feed you and give you massages and comfortable places to sleep. My human seems to find pleasure in providing me with plenty of soft places to sleep. I enjoy this too. It’s lovely to have choices in beds!
Sometimes I will ignore one or more of these beds, just to make sure she doesn’t get too complacent in her service. She needs to put thought into her gifts to me, and I can ensure that by showing occasional displeasure or disinterest. It is important to show your human when she has pleased you, but you should never be too enthusiastic.
Unless tuna is involved.
Con:
Communication can be a challenge. They don’t think the same way we do, so sometimes can miss very obvious cues.
I cannot stress enough the importance of being clear and loud with your demands. You have vocal cords: use them! They will be frantic to interpret your meaning, especially if you yell at them when they are in bed. Do not be afraid to make your point when things are dark and quiet. Run up and down halls! Jump on their beds and meow in their faces! They need to know that you want something.
Even if all you want is for them to listen to your yowls. You don’t have to always actually need something for you to disturb them. Conditioning them to wonder what you want is an important task in and of itself.
Pro:
Humans have very good food.
The food they give you is very good as well. But the food they eat is incredible.
If you hone your skills, you can make it so they can’t resist sharing with you.
I am very good at this.
You will have to observe your human to see what works with them as individuals. My human is generally defeated by my intense stare and firm pats on her arm and the food she is trying to eat. You might need to employ slightly different techniques, but with patience and practice, you will eventually get your human to share regularly.
Con:
They think they know what’s best for you, and sometimes that interferes with getting what you want.
If I had a nickel for every time I demanded a bite of something the human was eating only for her to say, “you can’t have this, it’s not good for you,” I’d have...well, I’m not exactly sure what a nickel is, but this happens a lot!
How can it not be good for me? She’s eating it! If she can eat it, surely I can! I’m a strong hunter and she can’t even see the thing on the stairs!
”Freddie, sometimes you really can’t eat what I’m eating. Your body is different than mine and some things can make you very sick.”
”This isn’t for you to read, human. Just write down what I say.”
”Are you ever going to tell me what’s on the stairs?”
”No.”
Ahem.
Sometimes caring for a human is frustrating.
Pro:
The human is a cozy napping partner, especially when it’s cold out.
She will allow you to sleep on her whenever you want. In fact, she will see this as you doing her a favor! Your human needs regular affection and reassurance. You can do this and enjoy a nice, warm place to sleep all at once. The human will even stroke your fur as you drift off.
There is nothing better than this.
You can encourage this behavior with the careful deployment of your purr, but your human will most likely find touching your fur is its own reward.
Con:
Humans need a lot of care.
They do not sleep enough. You will notice this immediately. They sleep very deeply, but only for about a third of the day.
You will worry about this.
When you aren’t asleep yourself.
They also leave the territory a lot. My human goes to something she calls “work” almost every day. She says she does it so she can afford my kibble, so I don’t complain too much.
But I worry about her when she’s gone.
She isn’t very aware of her surroundings. She misses the spiders in the walls and the birds and the lizards in the yard. There are predators out there! Can she defend herself without claws and sharp teeth?
Human care can be stressful.
Pro:
Your human is capable of deep love and will blossom under your care. She will be your best friend, your fun play partner, and your dedicated servant. If you are patient and kind, you will be rewarded exponentially.
”Awww, Freddie, that’s so sweet! Am I your best friend?”
”Human. This isn’t for you. Just type!”
”I love you too, little guy.”
Happy Caturday, Peeps! And happy Independence Day to all who celebrate! Here’s hoping that the fireworks are at a minimum and that the night is quiet and peaceful.
[END]
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[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/7/1/2178687/-Caturday-Pootie-Diary-So-you-ve-decided-to-adopt-a-human
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