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Cheers and Jeers: Thursday [1]
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Date: 2023-06-29
Troll Control Pardon the interruption. Posting this brief truth bomb to prevent a MAGA infestation... Everyone is equal…Facts matter…Health care is a human right…Science rocks…Voting by mail is reliable, easy, and popular…The south lost the Civil War…Trump lost fair and square (and bigly)…economies do better under Democrats...conservatives wanted to keep slavery…the opposite of woke is ignorant...immigrants built this country…grifters love Republicans because they're easy marks...medical decisions should be between doctor, family, and patient...book bans and revisionist history are a sign of weakness…Joe Biden is a great president...the House will flip blue next year and Democrats will keep the Senate...Trump is going to prison. There. That should send ‘em scurrying. Enjoy your day.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, June 29, 2023
Note: Hooray! It's C&J's annual Moment of Bunting!
And now it's over. Thanks. See you next year. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
8 days!!!
Days 'til Canada Day: 2
Days 'til the Corn & Clover Carnival in Hinckley, Minnesota: 8
Increase in new home sales for May, versus a year ago: 20%
Years since home prices dropped, as they did in April: 11
Amount Maine is getting from the federal government to expand broadband service in the state: $272 million
Percent of Americans who no longer have a landline: 73%
Rank of John Williams' Duel of the Fates from Episode I: The Phantom Menace among most-streamed pieces of Star Wars music on Spotify: #1
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Happy birthday, America! Ye Olde Fourth of July rolls around again and finds the Great Nation in, frankly, a somewhat pissy mood. Lots of blame game, name-slinging and general unpleasantness. But there's always an upside. The vice president reports that if you go ahead and let fly with the f-word, it makes you feel better. Anything to get that fun Dick Cheney back to his usual sunny self, I always say. True, we seem to have had more halcyon national natal days, but if we ignore Iraq for the weekend, we should be able to celebrate our national heritage without punching each other in the eye. So let's salute all that makes America special, starting with us, the people. Here's to all the musicians from country to hip-hop to rock to classical to jazz to folk to be-bop to norteno to polka to reggae, and to all the fusion forms thereof. Here's to all the artists who get no respect—the washboard players and lute strummers, harmonica blowers and banjo pickers. Here's to their endless generosity in playing special benefits for retired musicians who are ill and have no health insurance, all over America, every night. And here's to the great Ray Charles, bless his heart. May we all hear his version of "America the Beautiful" this holiday. —July 2004
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Puppy Pic of the Day: "You! Shall not! Pawwwwwwsssss!!!"
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CHEERS to leading the nation. If you're a womenfolk of this great nation and you're looking for a state that respects—like, really respects—bodily autonomy, look no further than (cover your ears, this part is loud) THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE. Because Governor Janet Mills (D) is inkin' up her fountain pen in preparation for a bill signing that will make our fair state one of the least restrictive for abortion services:
The bill from Gov. Janet Mills to allow doctors to perform abortions they deem necessary after Maine’s viability cutoff of around 24 weeks will soon end up on her desk, as the House of Representatives voted Tuesday to enact the measure. […] A governor who will leave a lasting, A+ legacy. The highly watched, emotional debate and vote came after the Senate approved the bill earlier Tuesday, with Sen. Craig Hickman of Winthrop the lone Democrat to oppose it. After it goes back to the Senate for a final enactment vote, Mills will be able to sign her measure into law. […] Post-viability abortions are relatively rare. … "When expecting parents well into their pregnancy receive devastating medical news, they need compassion and understanding in that moment,” Senate Majority Leader Eloise Vitelli, D-Arrowsic, said. “They need support and love. More than anything, they need to be able to trust that our laws will protect them and allow them to receive the medical care they need close to home.”
Compassion. Understanding. Support. Love. Gee, guess what color our state is.
CHEERS to basking in the afterglow. I don’t know about you, but I'm still smoking my morning-after cigaboo in the wake of the Supreme Court's orgasmic Tuesday decision to keep American elections under the watchful eye of our judges. As with all things voting-related, I turn to Democracy Docket's Marc Elias for perspective, since he lives to protect voting and election rights in courtrooms across the country. And he's over the moon this week…
Anyone who cares about free and fair elections should rejoice. […] In the aftermath of Moore and Allen, with the specter of a hostile Supreme Court removed, we can expect to see even more litigation aimed at protecting free and fair elections. In that sense, democracy did not just dodge two bullets, it emerged stronger as a result. Marc Elias: protector of fair elections. At his judicial confirmation hearing, Roberts likened the role of a Supreme Court justice to that of a baseball umpire. “I will decide every case based on the record,” he assured the Senate in 2005. “And I will remember that it’s my job to call balls and strikes and not pitch or bat.” Contrary to many predictions, in Moore, Roberts and a majority of his colleagues made good on that promise. Importantly, the Court also ensured that state judges will be able to act as umpires as well. Making sure that those who pitch, catch, hit and run in elections all play by the rules. And, that no one can try to steal a base without someone ready to call them out.
Fair and square elections. Or, in the words of the MAGA cultists: “[Cuss words deleted] elections.”
CHEERS to he who is laughing last. During this week in 1520, Montezuma II was murdered as Spanish conquistadors fled the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan. Today he gets his "revenge" by inflicting a certain embarrassing malady on tourists who visit Mexico and drink the water. Now pay attention, class:
When you're slidin' into first and you feel something burst—Diarrhea! Diarrhea! When you're slidin' into third and you lay a juicy turd—Diarrhea! Diarrhea! When you're slidin' into home and your shorts are filled with foam—Diarrhea! Diarrhea! When you're sitting in your Chevy and your pants are wet and heavy—Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
Look at that: history, sports, biology, and industrial engineering. At C&J, school's always in session.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x Living the best life.. 😅 pic.twitter.com/YENoISkR6Q — Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) June 27, 2023
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to hittin' the road. Sixty-seven years ago today, radical socialist (and probably Kenya-born) President Dwight Eisenhower signed the controversial Federal Highway Act, which authorized the construction of 42,500 miles of freeway from coast to coast, in part to fulfill FDR’s vision of making it easier for people to move to new jobs, but mostly so that our military vehicles could move quickly across the country the way the Nazis’ could during World War II. It wasn't an easy thing to accomplish:
Between 1954 and 1956, there were several failed attempts to pass a national highway bill through the Congress. The main controversy over the highway construction was the apportionment of the funding between the Federal Government and the states. Undaunted, the President renewed his call for a "modern, interstate highway system" in his 1956 State of the Union Address. Many highways carved up proud minority neighborhoods. Not cool, Ike. Within a few months, after considerable debate and amendment in the Congress, The Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1956 emerged from the House-Senate conference committee. ... During his recovery from a minor illness, Eisenhower signed the bill into law at Walter Reed Army Medical Center on the 29th of June.
Soon after completion, parents got their first earful of "Are we there yet?? Are we there yet?? Are we there yet??" Sixty-seven years later the most-popular answer remains: “Shut up or I’m turning this car around.”
CHEERS to dissension in the Russki ranks. Hey, let's check in and see how the mighty Russian army, now knee-deep in the Ukrainian muck, is reacting to the weekend's attempted mutiny by that Wagner Group mercenary guy who ended up disbanding and fleeing to Belarus. I'm sure the ill feelings have dissipated and they're once again one big happy family…
A BBC News analysis of online messages by Wagner troops and their families found some furious with the decision to bring the rebellion to an abrupt halt. Wagner One user claiming to be a Wagner fighter on a popular Telegram channel derided Prigozhin as a “bald waste of space" who had "destroyed" the militia group he claimed to have launched the mutiny to save. Meanwhile, some Russian pro-war commentators and military bloggers—who have become increasingly influential and had found common cause with Prigozhin's criticism of the defense ministry—equated the mutiny with treason and called for its leaders' execution. Their social media channels were rife with rumor and speculation in the wake of the crisis, much of it focused on who might pay the price.
And the value of all this "unity" to Ukraine? In the immortal words of those old VISA commercials: Priceless.
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 29, 2013
CHEERS to clearing the first hurdle. Yesterday the Senate passed—no, that's not a misprint, I said "passed"—an immigration-reform bill that includes border-security and border-fence-construction jobs, tons of fresh government spending, and a humane (if overly-long) pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants. The first thing I did after hearing the news, of course, was to sprint over to the Michelle Malkin blog and share in their celebration of the happy day. I could tell in the comment threads that they were elated:
You know, for such short arms McCain is pretty good on the reach around.
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I can't believe any Republican could vote for this. It's political suicide.
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Oh for an F5 tornado to rip thru there.
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The Republic is toast!
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How much more proof do we need that Marxists have taken over the RINOpublican party and that we have a one party system?
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Wow! My comment got deleted! I guess tar and feathers can't be mentioned, as well as the proper punishment for treason.
Remember, teabaggers: it's not rain. It's liquid sunshine.
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And just one more…
JEERS to things that go boom. Thanks to a stupid state law, fireworks are a fact of life here in Maine, but at least towns here are still free to ban fireworks, and Portland is among them (our city has burned down enough times, thanks). But for those who insist on getting their jollies risking life and limb, not to mention scaring animals half to death, for a brief moment of sparkly boom-boom, we offer our annual pre-4th C&J tradition of reminding ourselves that fireworks are most dangerous when they're in the hands of crazy-ass mannequins:
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And now let’s give a flag-wavin' cheer to America’s official July 4th motto: “The Emergency Room Is Thataway."
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Supreme Court Decides Cheers and Jeers Can Stay, For Now —Wonkette
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[END]
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