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What do/did you love most about your father? [1]

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Date: 2023-06-18

Today, I want to honor my father, whom I adored, and perhaps you’d like to honor yours. My dad died 34 years ago—when I was 39 years old, and five months pregnant with my only child, a son. He was 69, and I knew he was dying of cancer when I became pregnant. I also knew that he was doing everything he could to stay alive so he could meet his grandson. It just wasn’t in the cards. This is the note I wrote to him this morning.

Dear Dad,

I’m now 73, and I still love you as much as I always did when I was a child. You truly were a wonderful father. While the fifties were a different time, and girl’s (and women’s ) roles were more prescribed then, after decades of talking about you, to my friends and women I’ve met, I realized you truly were unique.

From as early as I can remember, there was nothing you thought I couldn’t do. You started teaching me to play tennis when I was four, because I wanted to learn. You delighted in my athletic abilities despite the fact that many other girls weren’t encouraged by their dads. I was a tomboy, and I was proud of it because you were proud of me. You taught me how to swim, ride a bike, throw a football, kick a ball, play handball and ping pong, and, albeit not a sport, drive a car. And, you and mom wouldn’t let anyone change your left-handed daughter into a right hander.

You also delighted in my intellectual capabilities, my accomplishments, and who I am as a person, independent of any of the rest. You taught me to stand up for myself—a lifelong lesson. You were intellectually curious and passed on that trait to me. You fought for what you believed in, had a real moral compass, and passed that on to me.

When I think back on your childhood, it is foreign to me. In todays’ standards, you and your three brothers, and grandma and grandpa would have been considered impoverished, and yet you never felt that way, complained, or felt it stopped you from achieving your dreams. You worked hard, put yourself through college by having a full time job at night, and as soon as you graduated, enlisted in WWII, and were commended for your service.

Once you were married, you had to earn everything you and Mom had, and you worked hard, but came home for dinner every night, and reserved weekends for your family. You believed your two girls could accomplish whatever we set our minds to, as well as your son, you encouraged us to follow our hopes and dreams, and you supported us every step of the way. You had strong morals and values, and demonstrated them by your acts and deeds. You and mom fought against anti-Semitism, and for human rights, and civil rights.

Most of all, you loved us and Mom unconditionally, and you showed us that every day, and frequently told us you loved us. You spent a lot of time with me [and my older brother, and younger sister]. You taught us about family loyalty by your kindness and concern for grandpa and grandma. You were loving, honest, strong, empathetic, compassionate, and loyal to a fault. I always felt safe, cherished, and loved. You worked hard, had a great sense of humor, a strong belief system, and stood up for what you believed in.

Dad, you and mom were great role models. You loved each other and and us so much. And, I brought those qualities to my marriage, and to my role as a mother. Happy Father’s Day! I’ll love you forever!

Love,

Your one in the middle

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/6/18/2176152/-What-do-did-you-love-most-about-your-father

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