(C) Daily Kos
This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered.
. . . . . . . . . .
Top Comments: Remembering Those We Miss Edition [1]
['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']
Date: 2023-06-12
When I first planned what I wanted to write about tonight, it was going to be a continuation of my post-Toronto Jam featuring a set of Canadian musicians, but three things happened to put that on the backburner until next week (so hold those musical thoughts!). First, a high school friend I haven’t seen in decades will be in town for one evening. Yes, you guessed it, Monday. Which meant I won’t be around until shortly before the diary publishes and I need to get it set in advance. Second, my Mother-in-Law called today (Sunday) asking if I can drive she and my FIL to the dentist tomorrow. Of course I can, and I’m happy to do so. But that involves most of my Monday morning and early afternoon. Which means I need to pen this diary on Sunday, and I don’t have enough time to do the music diary justice.
The tall white candle was lit at service today for S.
But the third reason is really what’s on my mind. A month ago, my congregation got word that S, our former Director of Religious Education, had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and was entering hospice. Last Tuesday, she passed away and it’s really been on my mind a great deal.
I only knew her for a couple of years, but she left an impression on me that will last forever. She was without a doubt the kindest, most compassionate, empathetic person I’ve ever known. I never heard her speak ill of anyone, she ALWAYS assumed best intent in every interaction, and saw good in every person with whom she interacted.
In my denomination, when a minister or other religious professional leaves a congregation there’s a period where no social contact is permitted (yes, if you run into one another you can say hi, but no calls/emails/planned visits/etc). For ministers, this is often forever, while for others it may be a year or two. While it seems harsh, it’s for the benefit of both the congregation (so we can form new relationships with the next people in those roles) and for the religious professional (so they can form new relationships with their new congregations without also carrying a thousand other relationships from past places at the same time). We’d spoken before she left and after the one-year period ended at the end of this month, we were going to renew a social friendship because we really had hit it off. But she got sick and entered hospice in May, and without knowing details her cancer seems to have moved so fast that I suspect she didn’t have the energy for a hundred goodbyes. And so she journeyed on without my seeing her again. She’ll live on forever in my mind and heart just as she was the last time I saw her… smiling, happy, and completely whole.
When I got word on Wednesday that she’d died, I struggled to find the words I wanted to say. And then another friend, who has no connection to my congregation or to anyone who knew S, posted the image that is the title photo for this diary.
Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone
I’ve been thinking about this quote ever since. It is EXACTLY the kind of sage advice S would have given us had we been grieving the loss of someone else. And so the way I will carry forward my friend is in the memories of all we did together — the teaching, the youth service trips, the joint zoom children’s stories for online worship, and all of the small kindnesses together. I’ll also try to keep her kind soul at the forefront when I’m interacting with others, and fight my natural suspicions with assumptions of good intent.
What sorts of ways do you remember those who’ve passed on? Do you have something that gives you comfort, or that you try to carry with you? Or is this too deep for a Monday night and let’s focus on Indictment Day later this week. Up to you, just join us in the comments after you peruse the Tops!
[Monday edit: my friend’s flight is late so it’s likely I won’t be here until later this evening. PLEASE enjoy the comments and I’ll respond as soon as I’m home]
Here at Top Comments we welcome longtime as well as brand new Daily Kos readers to join us at 10pm Eastern. We strive to nourish community by rounding up some of the site's best, funniest, most mojo'd & most informative commentary, and we depend on your help!! If you see a comment by another Kossack that deserves wider recognition, please send it either to topcomments at gmail or to the Top Comments group mailbox by 9:30pm Eastern. Please please please include a few words about why you sent it in as well as your user name (even if you think we know it already :-)), so we can credit you with the find!
TOP COMMENTS
Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist and/or Comment Formatter. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down. Please remember that comment inclusion in Top Comments does not constitute support or endorsement by diarist, formatter, Top Comments writers or DailyKos. Questions, complaints or comments? Contact brillig.
From inkstainedwretch:
BeadLady comments on DouglasH diary This is my hometown, and I'm ashamed.
Gotta say that this sucks, to avoid a long, foulmouthed rant.
TOP MOJO
Top Mojo for yesterday (Sunday), June 11th 2023, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary on FAQing Top Mojo.
TOP PICTURES
Top Pictures for yesterday (Sunday), June 11th 2023. Click any picture to be taken to the full comment or picture. Thank you to the wonderful dKos staff who made it possible to continue this feature in memory of jotter!
[END]
---
[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/6/12/2174772/-Top-Comments-Remembering-Those-We-Miss-Edition
Published and (C) by Daily Kos
Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified.
via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/
