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How CNN can redeem themselves and help save democracy: a $10 million Truth Guarantee [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2023-06-08

What a disappointment lately, especially to those of us who remember the times before there was cable and then how fantastic CNN was for decades. You could see what was going on right now through their cameras which were everywhere. Now CNN themselves are the news due to their desperate, ham-handed attempts to pander to Fox viewers. A new interim triumvirate regime is now in place.

The irony is strong, but the consequences are predictable by anyone with common sense. After a clumsy lurch to the right and now stating their intent to swing more to the center, CNN offends its loyal viewers and they won’t make a dent in the Fox crowd, either.

A wise man once told me, “You can be greedy and you can be stupid, but you can’t be greedy and stupid at the same time.” This is the path CNN has taken, and they are hardly the first. They have gambled their precious asset, their credibility. It’s not working out well.

Before they go broke I have the solution to not only save their asses, but to dominate the entire news space and help save our democracy: a final rebrand as the only news network on the planet with a $10 Million Truth Guarantee.

The announcement would stun the world. It would be a single paragraph, comprised of a mea culpa (“what the hell were we thinking?”), an apology for “forgetting that it’s not about right or left, it’s about the Truth”, and a sentence about their new money-where-their-mouth-is policy, the $10 Million Truth Guarantee. Finally, their snappy new slogans, “Because you want the Truth” and “Because you can handle the Truth.”

Hey, CNN: this only works if you’re first. You can see that, right? You could implement within days, because when I say “plan” I mean there is an actual plan of how you do it. This is not a sudden inspiration, It’s published, copyrighted and I have the registration receipt. Just sayin’.

Time is short for CNN. Audiences are fickle and some might feel betrayed. If CNN want to save themselves from the quicksand of history, come on! Just try to think of a better way.

What compelled me to publish this diary today is the aha moment when I saw that this situation could be a bonanza for Daily Kos. I hereby pledge to Daily Kos 90% of whatever CNN (or anyone that beats them to the table) pays for this plan. I am serious. Here’s how we can get the dough, save CNN and boost our democracy, too.

I am but one formerly silent Kossack; together we are millions. If everyone would please take one minute to share this diary and copy the above graphic to @cnn on Facebook and @CNN on Twitter they would notice. If you can get others to join in, so much the better.

Pretty soon CNN will need to comment. And what can they say? “You read our minds! People want truth. People need truth in these times when we are awash in lies. People need to trust their news source. We’re putting our money where out mouth is. Stay tuned.”

Even if they can find a way to say “Ha ha we already tell the truth” that doesn’t sound chickenshit, that would at least be amusing.

Would they rather watch a PowerPoint for a couple hours and fund some valuable consulting services, or steal the idea from a nice old grandpa? Or ignore the whole thing — not a good look — and maybe let MSNBC have it?

I’m sure that CNN would value the good will of the DK Community, with more truth-respecting members than CNN has primetime viewers.

Here’s how I know this

Last year I created some characters for a novel/series and threw the $10M guarantee idea to them to work on for a few months. To me, it was a literary device to blend in some truths about U.S. history since WWII because no one’s learning it in school, the stuff Thom Hartmann and Robert Reich talk about, to crush some stupid myths, remind three generations that the ERA never got ratified, how it all comes down to money in politics and yes, there is a way to end that. This medicine is delivered in a pile of delicious dark satirical pies with plenty of action and laughs.

I’m proud to say my imaginary friends surprised me with a crackerjack plan. In case you missed this widely unread masterpiece of American satire (a Jonathan Swift, George Orwell, and Anthony Burgess meet John Woo, Sam Peckinpah and Quentin Tarantino kind of thing), here’s what they came up with and how it works.

Austin’s Big Karma Law Firm sues airlines for flying women from Texas to free states to get abortions and collects billions. As a small part of the master plot, they buy failing Maxnews and launch the $10M policy, with the main hero of the book in charge of this plotline. She has it up and running in four days. The instructions fit on one page and CNN, with their resources, could launch almost overnight.

No insurance company would bond a news channel’s truthfulness for $10M, so they put $10M in a CD from the bank with the coolest certificate to show off. Then, every word spoken on the network is either guaranteed truth or flagged as opinion. Full documentation for every statement is on their website.

Example: “It was 105 degrees in downtown Manhattan today,” is guaranteed truth, while “Wow, that’s a scorcher” is an opinion and a blue sign appears to label it as such. On their website, three sources are linked and several timestamped, geotagged photos of thermometers confirm the reported temperature. Simple, right?

When guests appear and the fact-checkers accept receipts to post on the website, the network either guarantees their scripted remarks, or fact-checks and reinforces or rebuts the opinions if someone prefers to extemporize.

When there’s a town hall event, the speaker(s) can send their receipts in advance, and real-time fact checks appear on screen, with a five minute summary by the host after the event. Can you imagine?

At the end of each hour, the opinion flag goes on and the host is free to rant (audiences love rants) about the facts discussed that hour.

Fox and the wannabes know they must enrage to engage. It turns out that the truth is even more outrageous than any conspiracy theory, and much less complicated.

The very notion of the $10M Truth Guarantee gets a lot of hype for a couple of days before the launch, and sooner or later everyone needs to watch at least once.

Another aspect of the plan, key to audience retention, is 66% less commercials. They ban pharma, Medicare Advantage, reverse mortgages, a whole list of others. Advertisers compete for the limited spots. Think electric vehicles, with every spot as cool as an iPhone commercial that blows you away on your 4K TV. Less commercials with more audience equals more revenue.

And it doesn’t cost anything! That $10M stays in the bank earning interest, because they never lie, right?

I don’t need to explain how a trustworthy news network could benefit our agenda and our democracy, do I?

So that’s it. When you think about it, it’s obvious. And best of all, ironic in a good way. We get a trustworthy network, a ton of cash for DK, and a ride in a swanky corporate jet for me. Everybody wins!

If you must know, the book is here. The story is not about Maxnews, but the events they and others report. It’s funny as hell, at least the parts that haven’t come true yet.

Will you please help rattle CNN’s cage for a few minutes over the next couple of days? Think of the fun.

CNN’s Facebook is @cnn and Twitter is @CNN. Thanks for reading.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/6/8/2173679/-How-CNN-can-redeem-themselves-and-help-save-democracy-a-10-million-Truth-Guarantee

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