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Billionaires, Blowhards, and Bigots - Good News for Bluesday, May 16th [1]
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Date: 2023-05-16
Sometimes I think the republican party is controlled by the marketing departments of popular over-the-counter medications. After all, the only things we can count on republicans to reliably generate are headaches, heartburn, and stomach upset for both their followers and the rest of us.
Calling them bumblefucks is both jarring and crude. It’s also accurate. This is a group who are moving to escalate DeSantis’s war with Disney into a national crusade. They are consistently on the wrong side of every issue; yet they persist in their idiocy. That takes a special kind of stupid.
In a sane world they’d be a third party, reserved for conspiracy theorists and other wackos, capturing at most 3 percent of the vote. That’s not what we have here. There are other factors at play.
The behind the scenes roots of populist and fascist evil is our irresponsible billionaire class. Billionaires are generally narrow-minded, hyper-focused people whose current goal is to own the world. It is their sole remaining raison d’etre. Now that they’ve won capitalism, they need another focus for their insatiable greed and acquisitive lust. To that end, they supported and suborned a large cohort of political and media blowhards, paying them to distort reality in their favor with lies, more lies, and even more lies.
As soon as the owners of broadcast media were able to transition their “news” divisions into profit centers for their networks, they stopped actively pursuing news and turned to framing stories to generate ratings. Journalistic integrity became a thing of the past. Some owners did away with news entirely and opted to pretend their propaganda outlets were presenting “news”. They’ve mainstreamed several dishonest techniques:
Bothsiderism — This is a distorted reimagining of the fairness doctrine without any fairness whatsoever.
Normalization — This gives a cloak of acceptability to the outrageous, obnoxious, and outright criminal behavior of “news” worthy (read as ratings generators) subjects.
Flattery in exchange for access — cf Maggie Haberman.
Selective reporting — By always focusing on negative, often specious stories, doom watching is encouraged
Celebrity “news” readers — These are the blowhards doted on by the propaganda networks and the insipid personalities used by the other networks. Edward R. Murrow they aren’t.
Laziness and complicity — Why egregious lies go unchallenged.
False equivalences — This is the basis for conservative embrace of orangesauce, orange cider, orange pie, road oranges, and candy orange red putzes with delusions of grandeur.
Having gained defacto control of broadcast media they leveraged their blowhard’s toxic rhetoric to attract an army of rascists, bigots, and other unsavory characters, by appealing to their lust for hatred and divisiveness.
Our billionaires don’t care about any of the culture wars they’ve fomented. They accept no responsibility for the violence they’ve encouraged. They just want the voting populace distracted while they continue raping and pillaging our democracy (and whatever parts of our economy they don’t already own). They are an entire class of sociopaths.
Hell, the only differences between our billionaire class and the Russian kleptocrats is our group doesn’t speak fluent Russian and they don’t throw their opponents out of windows (yet).
You might be worried you have billionaire tendencies. I’ve put together a simple test that should ease your concerns (unless you fail).
You have won capitalism. You now have more money than most countries. You can:
A Continue to lie, cheat, steal, manipulate your way to accumulating even more wealth and power.
Continue to lie, cheat, steal, manipulate your way to accumulating even more wealth and power. B You can use your wealth to make a positive impact on people’s lives.
You are so rich you light your farts with thousand dollar bills (because you are still emotionally around 8 years old). You can:
A Continue to purchase judges and politicians who will declare your farts as law.
Continue to purchase judges and politicians who will declare your farts as law. B Do something to help combat the climate crisis.
You employees hate you. Your competitors despise you. Your customers revile you. And yet you keep raking in the cash through all those under-the-table deals you cut with your friend Vlad. You can:
A Continue money laundering and breaking sanctions on behalf of war criminals
Continue money laundering and breaking sanctions on behalf of war criminals B Renounce your life as a bottom feeder and turn state’s evidence on all the other corrupt actors in your circle.
Your name is Elon Musk. You can:
A Continue to be a pathetic troll.
Continue to be a pathetic troll. A2 Continue to be a pathetic troll while you mismanage yourself into obscurity.
You are the previous president of the United States. You can:
A Continue to lie nonstop about everyone and everything
Continue to lie nonstop about everyone and everything A2 Continue to lie nonstop about everyone and everything from behind bars.
Answer key: If you answered A to any question, you are probably at the wrong website. We would appreciate it if you would relinquish your citizenship and emigrate to Russia after surrendering any assets you have accumulated. If you answered A2 where possible — what the hell, you don’t have to answer every question, especially if you aren’t Elon or tfg. Finally, if you answered with only Bs, you can breath a sigh of relief. You’re not likely to ever become a billionaire, but if you do, you’ll might just do some good.
We win the fight against the forces of fascism the same way we’ve been winning against them all along. We beat them at the ballot box. We beat them by making the point that the only things republicans stand for are rich people and white supremacists.
We have the power. We have the ability. We can and we will do this.
Slava Ukraini!
Remember the Children
Screw you, Samuel Alito
Random thoughts: They go low, we go high, E Jean Carroll style: When they grab genitals, we punch them in the face and take their wallet.
They can polish and polish until their arms fall off. All they’ll have is a shiny turd that falls apart under pressure.
Random rumor: Lauren Boebert was pushing to have the USPS release a stamp commemorating the reign of the previous guy. She managed to even get a prototype produced before the whole idea was tabled. It turns out, while the stamps were fine, everyone in the test group spit on the wrong side.
Author’s Note: It’s primary election day here in Pennsylvania. Pressley and I will be spending the day at the polls, helping any of our voters that don’t do the vote-by-mail thing with any questions they might have. We’ll also be working the republican voters in an effort to get them to take the blinders off. Pressley is a very good ambassador for the Democratic party. That means I won’t be hanging around in the comment section very much. chloris creator has kindly consented to make sure things run smoothly.
The writer’s strike makes it a tad bit difficult to put in topical performances from the late night hosts, so we’re back to parodies. Fortunately for us, there’s some top shelf material out there.
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There’s also good news to share.
Pander Monkeys at CNN Get Outed
There’s responsible journalism and then there’s whatever the hell CNN thought it was doing on Wednesday night. The two are not related. Chris Licht has likely graduated from eating paste* to sniffing glue.
*According to Keith Olbermann, the staff at MSNBC, when both he and Licht worked there, were all convinced that Licht ate paste.
This is what the former guy said in the lead up to the CNN fiasco (extracted from his failing vanity social network).
I’ll be doing CNN tomorrow night, LIVE from the Great State of New Hampshire, because they are rightfully desperate to get those fantastic (TRUMP!) ratings once again. They made me a deal I couldn’t refuse!!! Could be the beginning of a New & Vibrant CNN, with no more Fake News, or it could turn into a disaster for all, including me. Let’s see what happens?
So, what was in the deal, you ask? At a minimum, CNN appears to be lying about audience makeup. Here’s Chris Sununu’s take
The Guardian: Martin Pengelly: New Hampshire governor ‘embarrassed’ by crowd’s behavior at Trump town hall
The audience for the CNN event was always meant to be Republican but Sununu said “almost all” who attended voted for Trump in 2016, 2020 or both. “I believe every single one of them have voted for Trump at some point,” he said. “So I don’t know … how [CNN] determined that and set that up but obviously it was a room full of Trump supporters. So no one should have been surprised to hear the support.” “But again, on that issue, I would call it embarrassing.”
Then there’s Chris Christie’s take.
The Hill: Lauren Sforza: ‘CNN went in the tank’ to get Trump to agree on town hall, Christie says
“As to the audience reaction, let’s face it, CNN went in the tank to get Trump on there,” he said on ABC’s “This Week.” “They allowed him to negotiate who was going to be in that audience, and those were all Trump supporters, I don’t care how they introduced them.” “You pay no attention to audience reaction,” he continued. “Those were all people who in the main 80 percent or so were Trump supporters. So, that was a negotiation deal that Trump did with CNN and I think CNN was wrong for doing it.” Christie added that he recognized some faces in the crowd as Trump supporters based on time he spent in New Hampshire where the town hall took place.
Keith Olbermann had some insights as well. I haven’t been able to find other sources for the claims about veto power over the moderator and post town hall talking heads. This is from the Monday podcast synopsis.
Episode 202: Countdown with Keith Olbermann: CNN Went into the Tank to Get Trump On” — 5.15.23
A-Block (1:43) SPECIAL COMMENT: Evidence mounts that CNN really did pack the audience at the Trump Town Hall, really did seed the crowd with almost nothing but Trump supporters. And it mounts that CNN let Trump choose the moderator (or at least veto other options to BE the moderator). And it mounts that CNN let Trump pick which pro-Trump talking heads appeared on CNN after the fixed Trump Rally ended. And it also mounts that CNN Chairman Chris Licht has intensified his criticism of the ONLY CNN front-facing talent to dare to even LIGHTLY criticize the decision to prostitute the network, Oliver Darcy, and that Darcy is deciding whether or not to quit before he gets fired. Chris Christie has now joined New Hampshire governor John Sununu in asserting that the 400 "Republican and independent primary voters" were not just random people with a variety of favored candidates. Christie: "CNN went in the tank to get Trump on there. They allowed him to negotiate who was going to be in that audience. And those were all Trump supporters. That was a negotiation deal that Trump did with CNN" Governor Sununu: "I knew pretty much everybody in that audience. They're all Trump supporters." CNN is already in "Quiz Show" territory. 60 years ago corruption like this led to Congressional hearings and Grand Juries. It should lead that way again.
Comer, Comer, Chameleon
James Comer is doing his best to make Trey Gowdy’s investigative style look reasonable; Marjorie Taylor Greene look smart (He’s failing miserably at this one. I don’t think it’s possible); and Gym Jordan look cautious and restrained. Comer has been claiming facts not in evidence, rumors sourced at 15 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon (statistically impossible), and crap directly pulled from where the sun don’t shine. In the most recent revelations he’s sneezed on his own thin tissue of innuendo and lies, blowing his already non-existent credibility into the Santososphere. Remember, Comer is a guy who is refusing to address credible accusations he assaulted his girlfriend (among other misdeeds).
The New Republic: Tori Otten: Republicans Have Lost Their Informant in Fake Biden Corruption Investigation
The Republicans’ trumped up investigation into Joe Biden has gone from bad to worse, as a top informant has apparently gone MIA. House Republicans have been investigating the president and his family for months, but have been unable to provide any actual evidence linking Biden to any wrongdoing. House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer has led the charge, releasing a 65-page memo last week accusing the Bidens of influence peddling in Romania, and Biden’s son Hunter of having business deals in China. All of those claims are based on information the committee says it has received from anonymous sources.✂️ Comer has repeatedly said Biden was involved in shady business dealings, but when pressed, he has always had to admit that he has no actual proof. Since he released the memo last week, he has insisted that his informants will provide him with concrete evidence soon.
Charles Pierce was not gentle, when talking about congressweasel Comer’s efforts.
Esquire: Charles P. Pierce: House Oversight Committee Cobbled Together Allegations That Hunter Biden Was Paid Overseas Dough
Congressman James Comer, Republican of Kentucky and the chairman of the House oversight committee, put together a gathering of the dogs and ponies on Wednesday in order to share with the world some of the snipes he has brought to earth in his hunt through the Biden family underbrush. Comer's committee has humiliated itself in the national spotlight several times already, largely because its membership has been culled from the distant peanut gallery of the Republican majority, the one with the padded walls. (I mean, when you shove Rep. Andy Biggs, one of the central figures in the white-shoe aspects of the January 6 insurrection, in front of the cameras in a leading role in a corruption investigation, you're already operating deep in the minus pool.) To be brief, Comer and his crew managed to cobble together enough evidence to allege that some members of the Biden family, particularly the president's son, Hunter, got fat on money from overseas sources. What they didn't do was come within an area code of attaching all their assumptions and innuendo to the president of the United States, something that Comer himself seemed to admit.
Even the folks over at Politico have been picking away at Comer’s idiocy.
Politico: Jordain Carney: Comer releases Biden family probe update without showing link to president
A 30-plus-page memo from GOP Oversight staff, a copy of which was obtained by POLITICO, focused on payments linked to Romania and China. According to the GOP memo based on bank records the committee has obtained, Biden family members, business associates or related companies received more than $10 million in total from companies run by foreign nationals. The memo detailed payments to Biden family members and asserted that “it is not credible” that the president wasn’t aware of his family’s business efforts given the total size of the payments. It also did not show any way in which Biden’s decisions were influenced by those agreements or that he had direct knowledge of them. And while Republicans have criticized the payments as questionable, they stopped short of calling any of the activity potentially illegal.
Summary: James Comer is doing an even worse job than the one John Durham just finished.
The Kids Fight Back
When he isn’t running lines for his starring role as the villain in The Mouse vs the Louse, Meatball Ron is busy trying to destroy public education in Floriduh. Turns out everyone is not ok with his approach. His tone deaf style of political self-ownership brings up the question: Is there a sewer pipe big enough to pass Floriduh’s pissant governor and professional toilet clog?
Wonkette: Robyn Pennacchia: Florida Students Refuse To Let Skeevy MAGA Speaker Ruin Their Graduation Ceremony
Over the last few months, Ron DeSantis has been working to turn the New College of Florida — a small liberal arts school known to have a very progressive student body — into the "Hillsdale of the South." Hillsdale College being a notably wacky right-wing conservative Christian college in Michigan. This has not gone over very well with the students, many of whom plan to leave next year, whether they are graduating or not. But those graduating feel that they at least deserve a graduation ceremony that celebrates them, not Ron DeSantis. So when it was announced that former Trump advisor, Dr. Scott Atlas would be their commencement speaker, they would hold their own commencement ceremony instead. Atlas will still be speaking at the "official" ceremony, but he will very likely have to tell the inspiring story of all the ridiculous and nonscientific policies he pushed during the height of the COVID pandemic to a room full of empty chairs.
Like Client, Like Lawyer
Following in the footsteps of his most famous client, Rudy Giuliani has reserved a seat on the express train to World-of-Hurt, New York. Since associating himself with tfg, Rudy has diligently worked is way up the ladder from toast to burnt toast to briquet to ashes. It couldn’t happen to a slimier scumbucket (mostly because Rudy is the gold standard for slimy scumbuckets).
Above the Law: Liz Dye: Rudy Giuliani A Gross, Drunken, Sex Pest? No, That Can't Be Right!
Rudy Giuliani and his associated businesses were just hit with a $10 million lawsuit by former employee Noelle Dunphy alleging an astonishing pattern of sexual assault, labor violations, and breach of duties as an attorney.✂️ The complaint has now been filed, and it is BONKERS. Dunphy alleges that she was hired as a consultant “in January 2019, [when] he was at the height of his influence, serving as the personal lawyer for then-President Donald Trump.” Giuliani was at the time in the midst of an “acrimonious divorce,” so her promised million dollar salary “would have to be deferred and her employment kept ‘secret’ until the divorce proceedings finished.” Instead, Giuliani promising to “pay her in cash whenever he could,” and, as an added inducement, he offered “free legal representation” in an ongoing complaint against a former partner whom Dunphy accused of abusing her.✂️ According to Dunphy, Giuliani bragged about hiding assets, encouraged her to lie to the FBI, implicitly threatened her if she told the truth to the investigators about their relationship, and said he was selling presidential pardons for $2 million. He also downloaded more than 22,000 of his emails onto her personal computer without regard for attorney client privilege. His correspondents included: President Trump, the Trump family (including emails from Donald Trump, Jr., Ivanka Trump, and Eric Trump), Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner, former FBI director Louis Freeh, Trump lawyer Jay Sekulow, Secretaries of State, former aides to President Trump such as Steve Bannon, Reince Priebus, and Kellyanne Conway, former Attorneys General Michael Mukasey and Jeff Sessions, media figures such as Rupert Murdoch, Sean Hannity, and Tucker Carlson, and other notable figures including Newt Gingrich, presidential candidates for Ukraine, President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey, the Ailes family, the LeFrak family, Bernard Kerik, Igor Fruman, Lev Parnas, and attorneys Marc Mukasey, Robert Costello, Victoria Toensing, Fred Fielding, and Joe DeGenova.
But wait, there’s more.
Raw Story: Sarah K. Burris: Lawsuit against Giuliani could also reveal money laundering, Ukraine meddling and Trump's election fraud: accuser
A new lawsuit was filed Monday against Rudy Giuliani alleging wage theft, sexual harassment, money laundering, selling of pardons, and a number of other accusations by former staffer Noelle Dunphy. Giuliani responded by saying that she had never worked for him. "Now the lawsuit, to be clear, it's about Rudolph Giuliani as described, luring this woman, who he finds attractive into working for him, promising her to pay her a million dollars a year, which he can't pay her right now because he's trying to hide money from his wife while he's in divorce proceedings," described MSNBC host Lawrence O'Donnell during his Monday evening show. "And if she just waits until the divorce is over, which is way more than the year in the story that is told, then she will be paid retroactively all the money that she's owed."✂️ Discussing the case, O'Donnell had a question for Andrew Weissmann, the former senior prosecutor for special counsel Robert Mueller's team, about some of the allegations and details in the court filing. He specifically asked if someone in the Southern District of New York would be flipping to the pages to read about the money laundering allegations. "Absolutely!" Weissmann explained. "So, the things that you covered already which are about the recordings and emails are going to be — I'm 100 percent certain — is going to be of interest to state and federal prosecutors for the reasons you laid out. I was particularly interested in paragraph 96, where there's a description of the emails and who they are either to, from, or about. And it includes Rupert Murdoch, Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson and it also seems to include a lot of allegations that are relevant to what Rudy Giuliani was doing in Ukraine. There is a discussion of a presidential candidate in Ukraine and a number of the lawyers who were involved in Ukraine activities who were helping Giuliani. So, that is something that people are going to be, I think, very interested in."
Honest Government Ad from Juice Media
I missed this when it came out 9 months ago. Funny how it’s even more appropriate now.
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Andy Borowitz vs George Anthony
There exist low hanging targets for satire. There exist targets ripe for easy ridicule. And then there’s George Anthony whatever-he-calls-himself.
New Yorker: Satire from the Borowitz Report: George Santos Pleads Nonexistent
CENTRAL ISLIP, LONG ISLAND (The Borowitz Report)—In what legal scholars are calling a highly unorthodox strategy, Representative George Santos has pleaded nonexistent in federal court. Though Santos’s claim not to exist was given long odds of succeeding, he forcefully made his case for his own unreality. “Your honor, I stand before you, a fictitious character,” Santos proclaimed.
New Yorker: Satire from the Borowitz Report: George Santos Claims Arraignment Conflicts with His Role in N.B.A. Playoffs
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Representative George Santos told reporters that he would be unable to face federal charges in New York City because of his ongoing role in the N.B.A. playoffs. “We’re looking at a pivotal Game Five against the Golden State Warriors and now is not the time to let up,” Santos, who claimed to play small forward for the Los Angeles Lakers, said. The New York congressman brushed aside talk that another trip to the N.B.A. finals could cement his legacy as the greatest professional basketball player of all time.
New Yorker: Satire from the Borowitz Report: George Santos Quickly Removes Job at Wuhan Lab from Résumé
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Representative George Santos hastily removed an entry from his résumé indicating that he had worked at a biological laboratory in Wuhan, China, the congressman’s office has confirmed. The entry, which said that Santos worked at the lab in late 2019, disappeared with no explanation in the early hours of Monday morning. Speaking to reporters on Capitol Hill, Santos said that he had “no idea” how the Wuhan job wound up on his C.V.
Mr. Fantastic Plastic Eater
Let’s finish out the news with a nice scientific advancement in the fight against plastic pollution.
GoodNewsNetwork: Andy Corbley: Microbes that Digest Plastic at Low Temps Are Discovered in the Alps and the Arctic
Microbes that can eat plastic at low temperatures, making them more cost-effective than current ones, have been found in the Alps. Several microorganisms capable of destroying plastic polymers have already been discovered. As a result, businesses have latched onto bioengineering the enzymes found in various bacteria and fungi as a means to tackle plastic pollution. But the industry has been limited by the need for heating since already-discovered ones require artificially high temperatures to work, making the process costly and not carbon neutral. Now, the Swiss Federal Institute WSL found the most effective performers were two fungi in the genera Neodevriesia and Lachnellulam, which were novel and that worked at just 15 degrees Celsius, or 60 degrees Fahrenheit.
Musical Interlude
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Music from Ukraine
Eileen is a Ukrainian singer-musician and translator who to this point has mostly done covers of video game songs in Ukrainian (Witcher, Skyrim, Assassin’s Creed, etc). With this version of Hey, sololy! (Hey, Falcons) she breaks away from her Ukrainian Comic-con persona and gives us a beautiful version of the song. Hey, sokoly was probably written by Polish classical composer Maciej Kamieński (1734–1825) and quickly translated into several languages, including Ukrainian. The current lyrics date from the post World War II era last century.
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On the Lighter Side (with an Edge)
x This is Lindsey Graham rushing to Fox News to defend Trump after every egregious thing Trump does. Today, sexual abuse, what will be tomorrow? pic.twitter.com/PU2FI1As3u — Mr. Newberger (@jeremynewberger) May 10, 2023
Quote(s) of the Day
I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. — Maya Angelou Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending — to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, 'Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.' — Brené Brown Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. — Martin Luther King, Jr. As long as the prerequisite for that shining paradise is ignorance, bigotry, and hate, I say the hell with it. — Spencer Tracy, as Henry Drummond in Inherit the Wind (1960).
The Hunting Pressley Report
Musings from the desk of Pressley T. NotEver
Pressley surrounded by her diverse security detail
Dateline: (The backyard at Chez NNNE, while watching NNNE wage a losing battle with the lawn (as well as an education in words humans aren’t supposed to use). In today’s edition, Pressley speaks out on press(ley)ing issues faced by Doggie Nation and welcomes back an old friend for a special dog-on-dog interview. Take it away Pressley!
First, I’d like you to know, all this talk of republicans being Russian lapdogs is really starting to piss me off. They might be lapweasels or laprats, but they certainly aren’t dogs. Us dogs are all firmly in Ukraine’s corner. That’s what NAFO is all about.
Now normally I use these Hunting Pressley Reports as a way to clear the proverbial right wing mud out of my claws and get in some much needed barking at the moon.
Today, however, our dear friend CurlyGirl has consented to sit down for an interview. While those of us in Doggie Nation miss the exquisite prose stylings of niftywriter, we really, really miss CurlyGirl’s Picks. There aren’t enough 4-legged correspondents out there and when one of them goes dark, all of us doggies (and even some cats) feel the loss.
Let’s get on to the interview.
Pressley: I’d like to welcome our very special friend from the Windy City, CurlyGirl, to the Hunting Pressley Report.
CurlyGirl: Hello there, Pressley! I am so glad to see you! 🐾
Pressley: Since nifty pulled back from the weekly grind, do you find yourself missing the regular opportunity to connect with your fans?
CurlyGirl: Sometimes I do. I miss being able to share cool stories about animals with everybody in Gnuville. But guess what, Pressley! I will tell you a secret! I still find stories and I save them up! And so, when Mama does a sub for another writer, I will be all ready to put in my part (CG’s Picks) and I will surprise everybody! Won’t that be fun?
Pressley: In spite of your sadness at the loss of your soapbox, have you been doing your duty to support nifty while real life messes with her free time?
CurlyGirl: Haha it sounds funny to hear you say Mama’s name - “nifty"! I almost forgot who you meant! 😅 Even though I miss being able to bring stories every week to Gnuville, I really like that Mama takes me for an extra walk every day (this is how I help her) and we have taken two trips to take care of family matters. It’s Mama’s job to assist our human family member through a tough transition and it’s my job to assist Mama. I am really good at my job, too! I stay right by Mama (except when she has to go places where I am not allowed because I am a dog - shocking, but true), and I make sure she eats nutritious food, gets enough rest and gets outdoors every day! I take care of Mama and she takes care of me! 😎💕🐩
Pressley: Do you understand why the humans are so freaked out about groomers?
CurlyGirl: I…I… ⁉️ 😳
(whispers) Pressley, do you think humans are freaked out about groomers? 😳 That makes me a little freaked out…
😳 … 🤨 … 🤔 ...
😊 No. No no no. I do not believe that humans are freaked out about groomers. I do think some dogs are nervous about groomers. I see nervous dogs at the groomer's. I try to calm them down. Sometimes I can help them, and sometimes I cannot. But humans? I cannot say that no humans are freaked out by groomers, I can only say that I have not met any humans who are freaked out by groomers. Not yet anyway. Well, one time Mama was a bit freaked out by the groomer's bill. That’s different though, I think? Mama used to groom me herself and I prefer that, but then for a long time she was always too tired to groom me and so she took me to a groomer and I like the groomer and now even though Mama isn’t tired anymore, she still takes me there. But the first time she took me, I do remember she was a little freaked out by the bill. Is that what you mean? Is NNNE freaked out by groomers? I cannot imagine he wou - OH NO! 😱 Pressley, are YOU freaked out about groomers?
Pressley: Well, I do hate being away from NNNE. He rescued me from a very bad situation and has become my therapy human. I'm trying to get him certified, so he can stay with me while waiting my turn at the groomers. I'm not sure he's talking about the same groomers though. He keeps talking about goddam republican groomer asshats, and I haven't seen any of those around here.
Pressley: Moving on, do you have any picks you might want to share with us today?
CurlyGirl: Do I ever! SURPRISE EVERYBODY! Thanks to Pressley being a reporter dog and interviewing me, I don’t have to wait for Mama to do a sub! Here is a surprise CG’s Picks!
🐩💙 CG’s Picks 💙🐩
CurlyGirl: Hello, Everybody! Pressley the Wunderhund Reporter Dog has invited me to do a CG’s Picks today! Me and Mama are suuuuuuper busy these days, but I still like to find stories about animals and here are some of them!
🐘 I think I told everybody before how me and Mama really like elephants and do you remember the story last fall about the elephant twins that were born at Rosamund Gifford Zoo in Syracuse, New York? Well, I found more news about them! They are getting bigger and stronger every day 🐘💙🐘
" The twin elephants Yaad and Tukada are now six months old as of Monday, April 24, after being born nine hours apart on October 24 last year. It’s a huge milestone for the growing elephants who have been captivating Central New Yorkers and the world for months. The first year of life for elephant calves is crucial and since being born, the twins have doubled in size, weighing both nearly 500 pounds, and are starting to be more independent. ”
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🐦 I have another update for you, too! Do you remember me telling you about Monty and Rose, the piping plovers who made a nest on Montrose Beach here in Chicago and raised chicks successfully a few years in a row? That was a really important story because Great Lakes piping plovers are endangered! ! Not only that, but there hadn’t been any in the Chicago area for years and years and basically ages. Monty and Rose were stars for good reason.
Well, I didn’t want to update their story last year because last year was sad. Last year, Monty migrated back to Montrose Beach all by himself and was waiting and waiting for Rose, but she never returned. And then in May, Monty got sick with an infection and he died. 😢I was so sad and even though Mama says it’s the circle of life, I was so sad I could not tell you that update. Not even when I learned that one of Monty and Rose’s chicks, Imani, had come to Montrose Beach in May, 2022, too. It was good news that he came back to Chicago, but he was by himself, too. And I felt sad for him because his parents both are gone.
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But I have a hopeful update about the piping plovers in 2023! Guess what? Imani is BACK! Yes, he came back to his sweet home Chicago to try again to find a mate here. Incredibly, two other piping plovers also stopped by when they noticed him, although they didn’t stay (maybe they have a sweet home somewhere else to get to). Now we are all watching and hoping that a lady piping plover will flutter by Chicago and spy Imani on Montrose Beach and maybe she will decide to stay and build a nest with Imani! The scientists say there is still lots of time, so - Paws crossed!
🐶 For my last story, first I have to tell you some disappointing news: I still do not have a puppy brother or sister. ☹️ It is true that having Mama all to myself is kind of fun but still, I love puppies and I think if she would just watch this video, she would go straight out and get us a puppy! I know Mama reads the GNR every day so please check this video out, MamaNifty! I think I would be just as good a big sister as Molly the white poodle! What do you think, Everybody?
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🐩 💙 That’s all I have for today. Thank you, Pressley for inviting me to be your interview subject dog and letting me share some of the stories I have been saving! Bye, Everybody! Luv, CG 💙🐾
Pressley: Before you go, any final thoughts?
CurlyGirl: Yes. Can I have a turn to be the reporter dog and you take a turn being the dog I am interviewing? I have two questions I have been wondering for quite a long time about you
[Editor’s Note: We’ll return with the thrilling conclusion to our interview in the Next Every Other Bluesday Roundup.]
Pressley: Well, CurlyGirl, I’d like to close by extending you the offer to appear whenever it strikes your fancy as a field correspondent for the Hunting Pressley Report.
Goodnight, Chet.
Closing Notes
Today we’ve got an Uncle John’s Band from 32 years and a few days ago to ride us off into the rest of our day.
It's the same story the crow told me, it's the only one he knows
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait
Wo-oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?
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[END]
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