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Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1]

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Date: 2023-05-02

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Note: Today is random drug test day. Please randomly drug test some people today. Together, we can make a difference. —Mgt

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By the Numbers:

4 days!!!

Days 'til Mother's Day: 12

Days 'til the annual Washington Crossing Brewfest in Pennsylvania: 4

Increase in 1st quarter wages compared to last quarter: 1.2%

Increase in wages for March compared to March of last year: 5.1%

Personal Consumption Expenditures price index (used by the Federal Reserve as its primary inflation gauge) for March, down from 5.1% in February: 4.2%

Percent chance that attempts to pass strict anti-abortion laws failed in South Carolina and Nebraska last week: 100%

Number of jewels in the five-pound St. Edwards Crown that'll be used at Crabby Prince Charles's coronation Saturday: 444

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Puppy Pic of the Day: Tuesday wake-up call…

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CHEERS to May! The month of flowers, Mom’s Day, Teachers Day (today), Armed Forces Day, Victoria Day, Lost Sock Memorial Day, National Pet Week, “End of the Middle Ages” Day (May 29—for Republicans a day of mourning), and Cinco de Mayo. Across the pond, this Saturday Charles the Crabby reaches the end of the Checkers board and officially shouts, “King me!”

Also this month: the Russki Turret Frisbee Olympics continue.

It’s National Hamburger Month for carnivores and National Salad Month for vegetarians. The Webby Awards (and their famous 5-word acceptance speeches) will be awarded on the 15th, a week after the Pulitzer Prizes are announced on the 8th. Memorial Day weekend kicks off the summer season in 24 days, but not before we celebrate Star Wars Day (i.e. “May the Fourth Be With You”) and mark with righteous anger the 53rd anniversary of the Kent State shootings. Full moon arrives on Friday, so make a note to look up, think of Neil Armstrong and all our departed space pioneers, and give it a wink. Sequels and remakes dominate the new movies and streaming schedule, including Guardians of the Galaxy III and Fast and Furious X, along with a live-action version The Little Mermaid that has the MAGA cult’s “Fuck Your Feelings” t-shirts in a twist because they can’t decide if they’re more angry that the mermaid is Black or the studio is Disney.

And we’re happy to report that the Daily Kos contributing editors once again dressed in their frilly best yesterday to dance around the Maypole, although we’re not so happy to report that, also once again, they ended up with a bent pole, a huge granny knot, and a pile of eyewitness phone-cams with their memories erased. God bless our treasured American traditions.

CHEERS to cents and sensibility. That giant media orgasm you, tragically and unfortunately for your poor ears, heard last week was the House MAGA cult passing a debt-ceiling bill that had nothing to do with the debt ceiling and everything to do with punching down at poor people, babies, students, the elderly, veterans, and anyone who doesn't have a seven-digit income. It's sad that the White House even has to dignify the garbage bill—spattered with Marjorie Taylor Greene's toxic spittle and fang marks—with a response. But it's gotta be done, so they're off to the races…

Biden aides strategized Friday over how to use the upcoming congressional recess to hammer lawmakers in their backyards for supporting a bill that would undo Biden initiatives to relieve student debt, support clean energy tax incentives and ramp up IRS enforcement, while strictly limiting growth in most domestic spending programs. x We have a sacred obligation to care for the men and women who fought to protect our freedom.



This is how MAGA Republicans in Congress have chosen to repay them. pic.twitter.com/EX7dq3vJST — President Biden (@POTUS) April 30, 2023 - The messaging plan seeks to spell out what the House’s proposed spending plan would mean for specific states and congressional districts, through cuts to programs that provide medical care for veterans, nutrition assistance for women and young children, and invest in medical research. […] The White House effort is in coordination with outside groups that are planning to blitz the airwaves in Republican-held districts. One group, Courage For America, is targeting eight Republican incumbents for voting to “defund the police, weaken border security and slash veterans' benefits,” as a 30-second spot argues.

And if that doesn't work, just show footage of the January 6th insurrection and ask America if these are the nutjobs we want playing around with our money. (Spoiler alert: They’re not.)

CHEERS to a memorable growth spurt. 92 years ago this week, in 1931, the Empire State Building was dedicated. It was the tallest building in the pleasant village of New York until 1972, when the World Trade Center rose above it. It regained its "tallest" status in the worst possible way 28 years later. But today it plays third fiddle to the new One World Trade Center tower and the luxury apartments of 432 Park Avenue. There, there, Empire State—if it's any consolation, King Kong always liked you best.

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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x Rather than a static canvas, Johannes Stötter transfers his art onto live models, bringing his artworks to life with each brush stroke, and creating optical illusions with his body painting techniques. This is a butterfly



[more: https://t.co/eXnBbaPwtX]pic.twitter.com/WD0XIhHJZj — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) April 29, 2023

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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CHEERS to the days of lollipops and surpluses. On May 2, 1997, President Clinton and congressional Republicans came to terms on a plan to balance the budget over five years. Said Newt Gingrich of the bipartisan agreement: “This is a great moment for our children and our grandchildren and our country, and we are proud to be part of that.” Fourteen years later, as a presidential candidate, Gingrich foolishly raised his hand when asked if he would veto a budget with ten dollars in cuts for every 1 dollar in revenue increases. But in fairness, he did also offer jobs to our children and grandchildren. As janitors. On the moon. Amazingly, he didn’t become president.

CHEERS to today's edition of Uhhhh, no. Courtesy of CNN:

A federal judge overseeing a civil battery and defamation trial involving Donald Trump has denied the former president’s motion for a mistrial. Cross-examination of E. Jean Carroll, the columnist who sued Trump, resumed Monday morning.

This has been today's edition of Uhhhh, no.

P.S. And in other legal news, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is counter-counter-counter-counter-suing Disney for counter-counter-counter suing Florida for counter-counter suing Disney for counter-suing Florida for suing Disney. Well zip-a-dee-doo-dah.

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Ten years ago in C&J: May 2, 2013

JEERS to the Captain Queegs of Christianity. NBA center Jason Collins came out as a gay man this week, and the response has been hugely supportive. Fellow athletes, titans of civil rights, beloved celebrities and even Presidents Clinton and Obama have cheered his emergence from the closet. But then there are the assholes, like ESPN sportscaster Chris Broussard, who just have to play the big bad bearded boogeyman card:

"If you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits. It says that, you know, that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, whatever it maybe, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian.

What intelligent and compassionate people know instinctively is that Collins came out because, like all gay people, he knows that sexual orientation is hard-wired and he could never become a so-called "ex-gay" even if he wanted to. On the other hand, I'm reasonably confident that, if he really wanted to, Chris Broussard could reverse his chosen lifestyle and become an "ex-asshole." But I'm not holding my breath.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to blowing this popsicle stand. Whenever the shit gets too deep here on the bluish-brown marble, I head over to NASA's site to see if Space Force—still a thing under the iron-fisted rule of Dark Brandon—is conquering every ball of gas and rock in the known galaxy. Sorry to say the answer is no (although that little helicopter on Mars is still doing cool stuff) so we'll just have to spend our days and nights gazing yonward and dreaming. This month’s major celestial events include hot planet-on-planet action and exclusives for the southern hemisphere skywatcher’s club. Here’s NASA with your monthly preview:

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And remember: for effective stargazing, adjust your vision by looking at something completely dark for at least 30 seconds before casting your eyes upward. We suggest a few seconds staring into Kevin McCarthy’s soul.

Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Right-wing media used to shun Cheers and Jeers. Now it’s obsessed with it. —Vox

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[END]
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