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Revenge of the Turds [1]

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Date: 2023-03-16

The creepiest people we remember from junior high have found their place in the world at last – they’re MAGA, the heart and soul of the new Republican party. A rank stew of resentment seasoned with sexual frustration and ignorance has simmered in them since middle school and they’re hell-bent on forcing it down America’s throat because some people never get over being uncool adolescents. If there’s anyone more whiny than Trump, it’s Ron DeSantis. If there’s anyone more ignorant than Marge “Nazi Gazpacho” Green, it’s Lauren “Guns Make Us Safer” Boebert. If there’s anyone more sexually awkward than Gym Jordan, it’s Matt Schlapp, that married professional homophobe accused of groping someone else’s male staffer in a dark back seat. They weren’t the jocks in junior high or the brains or the helpful ones who’d share their notes or even the odd ones who’d raise money for homeless squirrels. No, they were the bullies, the suck-ups and the cheats. We all knew who they were then and we all know now.

Why must we pay attention to this herd of losers? Is it because they’ve gained vast political power thanks to the journalistic stylings of Fox News, where truth goes to die? Where Rupert Murdoch, an immigrant who profits from abusing immigrants, thought it was more important to add further billions to his morbidly obese bank account than help preserve democracy in the nation that’s given him so much? Is Rupert really too stupid to see that if MAGA takes over and he doesn’t ask “How high?” when Trump says “Jump!” his billions will disappear into Trump’s pocket when the new emperor, er, president deports him back to the outback – or has him shoved out a high-rise window? Does he not get that gifting Trump a second term means the “governing” playbook will be Putin’s Kleptonomics?

Wake up and smell the future, Rupert. Trump’s always wanted his own network and stealing yours would be especially sweet. Yes, your viewers think an autocrat is someone who likes cars, but you’re supposed to be a smart guy, a master of the capitalist universe. You could have told them the truth, you could have cut would-be Dictator Donald off at his fat, dimpled knees. You could have prevented Trump and Trumpism and possibly your own destruction. But you thought MAGA would make you a buck, so you punted.

WTF are MAGAs thinking? Oh, wait… they don’t, do they? It’s way too woke to think. It’s too pussy, bleeding-heart lib to care about your country and your fellow citizens. It’s far more manly, conservative, patriotic MAGA to spit on the law, grift all you can, beat up vulnerable minorities and wail 24/7 about how the mean lefties, antifa and BLM done you wrong, how they look down on you. Well, yes. We look down on what’s small and MAGA behavior, the idols they worship and their missing moral compass show how tiny in heart and soul they really are.

“Deplorables” was too kind. Owned by the highest bidders, hating democracy, quick to kiss up to dictators and kick down the weak, the new Republican party deserves nothing but contempt.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/3/16/2158666/-Revenge-of-the-Turds

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