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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1]
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Date: 2023-03-08
"When I'm sometimes asked 'When will there be enough [women on the Supreme Court]?' and I say 'When there are nine,' people are shocked. But there'd been nine men, and nobody's ever raised a question about that."
—Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg "There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish."
—Michelle Obama "Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice, or representation."
—Abigail Adams [Note: This is one particular Capitol insurrection I would support 100 percent. —BiPM] “The word’s out: I’m a woman, and I’m going to have trouble backing off on that. I am what I am. I’ll go out and talk to people about what’s happening to their families, and when I do that, I’m a mother. I’m a grandmother.”
—Elizabeth Warren "I, Kamala Devi Harris, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.”
—Vice President Harris, January 20, 2021 “At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else.”
—Shirley Chisholm "I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.”
—Maya Angelou
Organizers ask that you wear something purple today. If, instead, you chose to mark the occasion by running around in a red MAGA hat, no problem: please stay where you are and a complimentary purple nurple will be dispensed free of charge.
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, March 8, 2023
Note: For accounting purposes, today is Thursday, tomorrow will be Monday, and Saturday and Sunday will be combined into a single Tuesday to maximize efficiencies. Friday remains the same. Questions? Call Marge in HR. Thanks. —Gary in Accounting
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By the Numbers:
3 days!!!
Days 'til St. Patrick's Day: 9
Days 'til the Popsicle Stick Bridge Competition in Seattle: 3
Percent of Americans polled by Navigator Research who support unfettered access to abortion medication, versus 26% who don't: 63%
Percent of U.S. GDP dedicated to health care in 2010 before Obamacare was passed and when 16% of Americans were uninsured: 17%
Percent of U.S. GDP dedicated to health care in 2023 when the uninsured rate is now 8%: 17%
Value of Maine's lobster catch last year, nearly half as much as 2021 due to fewer pounds of lobster caught and a lower market price: $389 million
Number of years the Statue of Liberty was a working lighthouse after its dedication in 1886: 16
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 187 (including 2 date settings and 1 ungodly serving suggestion for Easter ham). Soul Protection Factor 16 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: In honor of International Women’s Day, Eleanor and Fala...
“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.”
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CHEERS to mob milestones. Loathe as I am to mention Tucker Carlson in any context, I suppose it's worth a brief mention for the C&J time capsule that Monday night he used some of the 40,000 hours of Capitol security camera footage House Speaker Kevin McCarthy gave him to "prove" that the January 6, 2021 insurrection was just a peaceful guided tour for patriotic and peace-loving Americans. Meanwhile, in the real world…
The Justice Department has reached a milestone in its prosecution of the U.S. Capitol attack, confirming it has arrested at least 1,000 people in connection with the Jan. 6, 2021, assault on the Capitol, nearly half of whom still face the prospect of trials or plea agreements. Look at those very fine Capitol tourists admiring the architecture. Charm school grads one and all. A new wave of cases, many of which involve higher-level charges of assaults against police, continues to expand a prosecution that is already the largest in American history. […] In many of its court filings, including a sentencing memo issued Monday, the Justice Department characterizes the Jan. 6 investigation as sweeping and unprecedented, calling it "a violent attack that forced an interruption of the certification of the 2020 Electoral College vote count, threatened the peaceful transfer of power after the 2020 Presidential election, injured more than one hundred police officers, and resulted in more than 2.8 million dollars in losses."
And apparently the feds have warrants out for 260 other assholes who have thus far eluded the long arm of the law for being treasonous America haters. If it's any help, guys, I know where you can find one of 'em. He'll be sitting behind a desk tonight at 8 on Fox News.
CHEERS and JEERS to making cents (and also losing them). Being a world-renowned fauxconomist, I know that my opinion can have an overly-influential effect on the fiduciary proceedings of the global markets and non-fungible token futures. So I'll simply stay neutral and recap the week thus far in economics and horse tradin' with some traditional-media headlines we carved off of the internet. Caution—minor whiplash ahead:
$ Millions more U.S. workers possibly self-employed than thought $ Poverty might be far worse in the U.S. than it’s reported $ Ford will raise production as U.S. auto sales start to recover $ At Elon Musk’s ‘brittle’ Twitter, small tweaks trigger massive outages $ Powell says interest rates are ‘likely to be higher’ than previously anticipated $ Interest rate hikes 'won’t stop big corporations' raising prices, Sen. Brown to tell Fed chair $ Billion-dollar power lines finally inching ahead to help U.S. grids $ Dick’s Sporting Goods smashes same-store sales expectations for holiday quarter $ Biden will seek Medicare changes, up tax rate in new budget $ Weight Watchers jumps into the prescription weight-loss drug business $ Hershey debuts plant-based Reese's Cups, chocolate bars $ Maple syrup producers optimistic about season's sap run
Tonight on our dinner plate: waffles and irrational exuberance.
CHEERS to supporting the troops. Happy 81st anniversary to Blue Star Mothers of America, a dedicated non-political, non-religious group of…
"…mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, foster mothers and female legal guardians who have children serving in the military, guard or reserves, or children who are veterans. We support each other and our children while promoting patriotism. Our organization focuses on our mission every single day and will never, ever, forsake our troops, our veterans or the families of our Fallen Heroes.
True fact: the Metthees family of Goodhue, Minnesota had the most children serving at one time: three in the Army, two in the Navy and two in the Air Force. (They all made it home safe.) I can guarantee you this: there will come a day when BSMA is no longer necessary because our country has permanently ceased throwing our men and women into ridiculous conflicts as cannon fodder for the comfort of the well-manicured political class. That’ll be the day the earth gets absorbed into the sun in 7.5 billion years. Around lunchtime.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x This little angel singing her parrot to sleep is everything 🥰
🔊 Sound Up! pic.twitter.com/mRqCl7nZrR — Jessi 💫 (@its_jessi_grace) March 6, 2023
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to shuttle diplomacy. 169 years ago this week, in 1854, U.S. Commodore Matthew C. Perry finally reached Japan during his second trip there. His perilous efforts on the high seas were well rewarded: he came back with the Kanagawa treaty and a runner-up trophy from the karaoke finals.
CHEERS to mending. Heyyyyyyyy some good news about one of our most promising new senators. John Fetterman (D-PA) got hit with a real double whammy of a stroke and then post-stroke depression. He's been recovering from the latter at a D.C. hospital, and yesterday we got word via some pics on Twitter that Big John will be in his toga and back on the Senate floor soon:
The photos showed Fetterman and his chief of staff, Adam Jentleson, huddled over papers in apparent discussion. Jentleson wrote in a tweet that the two discussed rail safety legislation, the Farm Bill and other Senate business. Last week, Fetterman co-sponsored a rail safety bill while receiving in-patient care. Working with his chief of staff on rail safety legislation. "John is well on his way to recovery and wanted me to say how grateful he is for all the well wishes," Jentleson wrote, adding that the senator was "laser focused" on Pennsylvania and would "be back soon." Fetterman checked himself into Walter Reed National Military Medical Center last month at the recommendation of Brian Monahan, Congress' attending physician.
When he returns to the chamber, Senator Fetterman will continue focusing on fulfilling America's most pressing priorities: health care, jobs, equality, voting rights, and drawing straws every day with the other 99 senators to see who gets the honor of giving Ted Cruz a wedgie.
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 8, 2013
CHEERS to fresh air. Here in Portland, Maine, a ban on smoking in public parks took effect yesterday. Police ended up handing out warnings to three people and half a dozen squirrels.
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And just one more…
JEERS to chaos in Canuckistan. With the spy balloons, train wrecks, and Ukraine situation sucking up most of the oxygen on the planet recently, you may have missed the hot stone-on-stone action on the cold, hard ice in Kamloops, British Columbia. Canadian curler Kerri Einarson won her fourth consecutive prestigious Scotties Tournament of Hearts championship, and her home province of Manitoba went absolutely berserk. Being Canada and all, the celebrating was, as usual, virtually indistinguishable from out-of-control rioting, as demonstrated here in this video archived at the Canadian National Naughty Boys Bureau. WARNING: this is not at all suitable for children or people with sensitivities to graphic scenes of destruction:
x Rioting begins in Winnipeg this morning because sports. pic.twitter.com/BJhG4f7P6b — Colin Lougheed (@Colin_Lougheed) March 26, 2018
I blame the Molson.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Bill in Portland Maine apologies are notoriously hard to come by, partly because of his inherent resistance to making them in the first place. —Allie Volpe, Vox
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[END]
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