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The Oxymoron Caucus [1]
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Date: 2023-03-04
The Freedom Caucus wants to stop funding Ukraine. The Freedom Caucus knows that stopping the funding is equivalent to endorsing Putin’s conquest and destruction of a peaceful neighbor. So, let me rephrase the first sentence: The freedom loving caucus supports dictators like Putin.
How these hypocrites can fit those two concepts inside their tiny brains is beyond me. But I decided to hold my nose and crawl into their heads to see if I could make any sense out of the chaos.
I wanted to know if there is any underlying pattern or cause that would explain this mess; not to empathize with them, but to defend against them. A General gathers as much intelligence on the enemy as possible.
This is, of course, an unscientific list, and not being a sociologist, has to be taken with a grain of salt. However, with help from two respected scholars, Robert Altemeyer and George Lakoff, I’ve stacked these disparate traits into two discrete piles. You may see it entirely differently.
Here’s what I found:
Category 1
Fear of the ‘Other’
Rejection of social programs
Reverence for howling tough guys
Libertarianism
Talk, talk, talk about FREEDOM
Category 2
Disregard for rule of law
Inability to get irony
Inability to understand science
Denial of climate change
Denial of 2020 election results
Rejection of fair election reforms
Rejection of same-sex marriage
Escaping this bedlam with my senses intact was no small task. But after recuperating with a fifth of Jack and long, hot shower, here are the conclusions that I drew from the madness I found.
Category 1 traits are similar in that they describe relationships between people. Freedom, yes, lots of talk about freedom; but not much in the way of freedom as a practical outcome for anyone except the top-dog. No, it’s more like “Freedom means ‘I get what I want’, if you’re on top of the pile.” Those lower down: people of color, women, immigrants, the poor, not so much.
Their attitude is, “We can’t let the ‘other’ have freedom or they’ll attack us”. Fear pops up everywhere. Dictators and authoritarian leaders get lots of esteem; Viktor Orban; Putin; Trump, of course. But you don’t hear much about non-white dictators.
The unifying theme for Category 1 traits is that people are best viewed as arranged in a vertical hierarchy, like a totem pole. It’s a zero-sum game. If someone moves up, someone else must necessarily move down. There is no equality. Anyone who betters themselves represents a threat to somebody higher up. We need a strong leader to reinforce the status quo, otherwise we’ll have chaos.
Category 2 traits all represent a denial of law, whether laws of science or laws of people. Anarchy prevails in the universe unless some strongman dictates order. Both the laws of people AND the laws of science bend to the will of the strongman. “After all, those laws are just made up by the elite anyway.”
The Exodus Model
Let’s contrast the Oxymoron Caucus with what more normal people would consider as the proper relationship between freedom and order. It comes from an old and familiar story to those raised in a Judeo-Christian environment. But it’s instructive no matter your religion or lack thereof.
A friend who has a degree in divinity explained the Exodus story as a metaphor for growing up:
The Israelites, when they were in bondage in Egypt, were slaves to the patriarch Pharaoh. They had order, but no freedom. [children]
Chafing at the lack of freedom, they escaped into the Sinai, where they had freedom, but no order. They went crazy worshipping false gods and committing crimes. [teenagers]
A set of laws was codified, meaning that if the people obeyed those laws, they were free within the law. They had neither complete order nor complete freedom. But they had enough order for society to function and enough freedom to be able to improve their lives. Even if you don’t like some of the rules, you can avoid trouble, because the rules are predictable. [adults]
Ok, so that is the structure of the Exodus model. Now, how can we use this knowledge?
Most of us are adults. When you are an adult, you realize that if some unfortunate person betters themselves, it has no impact on you. We are not playing a zero-sum game. In fact, it’s possible that if I improve my status, you might even benefit; like, say, I get myself off of welfare.
The Oxymoron Caucus is, on the other hand, stuck at the children stage in this model. Therefore, they confuse puffery with power. A child can’t conceive of laws of any kind, but they know enough that they need some kind of order to survive, so they crave the strongman patriarch. As Paul Krugman eloquently says in the New York Times, Putin’s face-plant in Ukraine is causing problems for the Oxymoron Caucus. That explains why they want to defund Ukraine and thus create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The Exodus model doesn’t tell us necessarily how to fix their defects. But it does allow us to understand and discard what won’t work:
Trying to embarrass them by pointing out their hypocrisy is useless. Those neurons are absent. Don’t waste your time.
Accusing them of inconsistency or violations of law, or common logic won’t work. They simply don’t think that way. Their brains are compartmentalized cells that don’t communicate with each other.
Don’t try to shout any of the above at the Oxymorons. They won’t have any idea what you’re talking about. Stay away from anything threatening. Fear is much stronger in them than in you. Threats will only reinforce their fears.
Here are some tactics that might work if you run into an Oxymoron at a family picnic or around the water cooler at work:
The Oxymorons are much more strongly motivated by fear than are we adults. Listen to them. Treat them like human beings.
Point out clear inaccuracies in their statements.
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