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Cheers and Jeers: Thursday [1]
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Date: 2023-03-02
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, March 2, 2023
Note: As a courtesy to our C&J kiddie pool splashers, please tie your cocaine bear to the hitching post outside. Honest to god I never thought I’d have to lay that out in writing as an official rule. My hope for humanity continues to slide.
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By the Numbers:
3 days!!!
Days 'til Passover: 34
Days 'til the Chocolate Expo in Edison, New Jersey: 3
Amount Rep. Elissa Slotkin (D-MI) raised on her first day after announcing she's running for the U.S. Senate: $1.2 million
Value of the rare A-50 Russian reconnaissance plane that Belarusian rebels damaged Sunday: $330 million
Value of the Kanye West athletic shoes Adidas is sitting on with no way to get rid of them after they cut ties with the Nazi entertainer: $500 million
Minutes a sloth can hold its breath: 40
Years since M*A*S*H* aired its last episode: 40
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
[T]hose who deliberately corrupt our language for political advantage deserve some special ring in hell. One is Rush Limbaugh, a silly man. Another is Newt Gingrich, who has done much to poison the well of public debate: "sick," "twisted," "pathetic," "bizarre," "traitor." But I think far more damaging is the planned, corporately funded, interlocking web of propaganda—the think tanks underwritten by corporate funders, the "academic journals" underwritten by corporate funders, and right-wing newspapers, radio, and television, not to mention low-life, bottom-feeding scandal-mongers, all funded by huge right-wing money. Hillary Clinton once called this "a vast right-wing conspiracy," but it's not. It is all right there, out in the open; it has been growing before our eyes for more than thirty years for anyone to see.
—From Who Let the Dogs In? (2004)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Dirty doggie art...
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CHEERS to the new workin' stiff in charge of workin' on workin' stiff stuff. With Boston scrapper Marty Walsh hitting the happy trail after a fruitful two-year stint as our nation's Labor Secretary, President Dark Brandon chose Walsh's deputy Julie Su to lead the department. But what do we know—I mean, really know—about her?
Su, a civil rights attorney and former head of California's labor department, was central to negotiations between labor and freight rail companies late last year, working to avert an economically debilitating strike. Julie Su She also has worked to broaden worker training programs and crack down on wage theft. If confirmed by the Senate, Su would also be the first Asian-American in the Biden administration to serve in the Cabinet at the secretary level. The president described how Su, the daughter of Chinese immigrants, including a union worker mom, went on to law school. "Julie is the American dream," Mr. Biden said, to cheers and applause. "More importantly, I think even more importantly, she's committed to making sure that dream is within the reach of every American."
Su is 54…got her BA at Stanford and JD at Harvard…and worked under California Governors Jerry Brown and Gavin Newsom. And here's some good signs: Su is a Pisces and Biden is a Scorpio. Some web site I clicked on says quite emphatically that…
"Pisces and Scorpios are both Water signs, so they have a lot in common right from the start. They share the same intuition, imagination, and creativity. This makes them great friends who can understand each other on a deep level. They also have similar values, which means they will likely be attracted to one another’s morals and beliefs."
In other words: they should have a fine...working relationship.
CHEERS to today's edition of Well Now I'm Really Starting To Believe That Pigs Can Fly. Courtesy of NBC News:
Eli Lilly will cap the out-of-pocket cost of its insulin at $35 a month, the drugmaker said Wednesday. The move, experts say, could prompt other insulin makers in the U.S. to follow suit. The change, which Eli Lilly said takes effect immediately, puts the drugmaker in line with a provision in the Inflation Reduction Act, which last month imposed a $35 monthly cap on the out-of-pocket cost of insulin for seniors enrolled in Medicare.
This has been today's edition of Well Now I'm Really Starting To Believe That Pigs Can Fly.
JEERS to Democrats denied. On March 2, 1877, Republican Rutherford B. Hayes was handed the 1876 win over Democrat Samuel J. Tilden, even though the latter won the popular vote by 250,000 votes. Here's how it went down (via Anything for A Vote by Joseph Cummins):
The struggle over the twenty remaining electoral votes lasted from November 8, 1876 to March 2, 1877. Republican-controlled "returning boards" (groups in each state who tallied electoral votes) simply threw out enough Democratic votes to swing Florida, Louisiana and South Carolina to Hayes. Democrats cried foul, officials of both parties flocked to the south, and President Grant sent federal troops, just in case. It didn’t help that Hayes hid over 3,000 Tilden ballots in his beard. In the end, an Election Commission was established, consisting of five U.S. senators, five congressmen, and five Supreme Court Justices, all of whom split along party lines. With the commission tied at 7-7, the Supreme Court justice who had the deciding vote resigned—and a Republican justice took his place. Hayes was voted into office with 185 electoral votes to Tilden's 184.
And 2000 Ralph Nader was like, "Hey…don't look at me. I'm not even born yet."
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x Actor Bryan Cranston explains why he thinks the phrase "Make America Great Again" could possibly be construed as a racist remark. pic.twitter.com/GvrICiftvp — CNN (@CNN) February 26, 2023
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to jumping on the birther bandwagon. A reminder of how even "respectable" media outlets played the "he's not like the rest of us" card with our 44th president back when he was still slogging away on the campaign trail. This was an actual CNN online poll question that was posted fifteen years ago this week as the 2008 Democratic primary season kicked into high gear:
I think it's time for a new question, now that it’s been six years since he completed his successful and popular two-term presidency: "Does Barack Obama show the proper patriotism for someone who is a former president of the United States?” Get on it, CNN. Because if he's not, I say we should haul him back and plop his hiney someplace we can keep a close eye on him. (I recommend the Supreme Court this summer after Sam Alito chokes on a… Oops, almost spoiled it.)
JEERS to today's Ukraine update. The Russkis are still invading Ukraine. The Ukrainians are putting up a muuuuuch more spirited fight than expected. The international community—minus North Korea, Iran, China, and the American Republican party—is still outraged and continues penalizing and sabotaging the uncivilized, smelly Russki horde any way it can short of joining the actual fighting. That's today's Ukraine update. Join us tomorrow and every day for the next undetermined period of time when our Ukraine update will look pretty much exactly the same.
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 2, 2013
CHEERS to your Thursday Pearl of Wisdom. Every now and then I hoof it over to the World Net Daily site to see what the right wing's bottom dwellers are wallowing in. The entire site is like crack for paranoids. (Actual poll question: "Obama says BAN GUNS! What Do You Say?") Anyway…a commenter there makes an observation. I pass it on:
Not saying that Tim Tebow is Jesus Christ, but God gave us his son Jesus Christ then he gave us Tim Tebow.
You have been enlightened.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to strange holidays. I gotta "hand" it to whoever came up with this one. Tomorrow is What If Cats And Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day. I'm not supposed to do this, but because you’ve been such a great audience this morning I can let you in on a little—[whispers]—top secret intel:
Poker games would certainly be more interesting.
If cats and dogs had opposable thumbs, the world would be a better place. Yes, they'd wreck our kitchens with their constant culinary experimentation, but they'd also retrieve and bury all our weapons of mass destruction including guns and nukes. How do I know this? I'm not at liberty to say—you'll have to ask the mad scientist across the street. (Speak loudly—she’s 134 and refuses to change the batteries in her Bel-Tone.)
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Jeb Bush Luvs Cheers and Jeers, Kissyface Emoji, Exclamation Point —Wonkette
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[END]
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