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Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1]
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Date: 2023-01-31
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 31, 2023
Note: Soapy residue found on dishes. Film at 11.
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By the Numbers:
4 days!!!
Days 'til Groundhog Day: 2
Days 'til the Carolina Chocolate Festival in Moorehead City: 4
Estimated number of documents that are classified by the U.S. government every year: 50 million
Revised estimate, up from $700k, of Southwest's financial loss from the holiday meltdown: $1.2 billion
Expected year in which Africa will be home to 25% of the world's population: 2050
Current unemployment rate in Maine: 3.8%
Years Jimmy Kimmel Live has been on the air as of last week: 20
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Morning commute…
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CHEERS and JEERS to dollars and sense. I ain't no economist, so I depend on the financial headlines to keep me just educated enough to win arguments with my butler. Here are some I saw over the last few days…the good, the bad, and the ugly:
Heating fuel prices and supply stabilize as winter weather sets in Annual inflation is at the lowest level in more than a year. Just in: year-over-year, budget-related graphics are down two cents per use. AMEX CEO: "We aren't seeing recessionary signals." US economy grew by 2.1% in 2022 (2.9% in Q4.) Consumer confidence up Lowest unemployment rate in 50 years The number of people filing for unemployment is near the low point since the 1960s Boeing plans to hire 10,000 employees in 2023 Gas prices are down $1.60 since the peak impact of Russia's invasion. The economy keeps defying media expectations
Hey, wait a minute! Those are all good headlines. Yeah, they are. They come from the Twitter feed of outgoing White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain. I would've gone into the mainstream media, but the machete I use to chop down all the "Yeah, but's" was in the shop getting re-sharpened.
CHEERS to a word from our sponsors. Immigration. What is it? What does it do? How do we do it? When? Where? Why? And what's the status of the two miles of big beautiful wall Trump managed to build during his four years in office? These are just some of the questions I wrote down moments ago. And while you're answering them in a blue, single-spaced final-exam essay booklet (remember: penmanship counts), President Joe Biden is rolling out his new "Welcome Corps" program, which allows anyone in the United States to sponsor refugees thus and so:
Under the Welcome Corps program, you and a few of your friends can pool together funds to provide an immigration pathway that allows vulnerable people who may not otherwise be able to immigrate the ability to rebuild their lives in the US. Forming a private sponsor group involves bringing together at least five adults in your area and collectively raising $2,275 for each person you want to resettle in your community. Pooties can also sponsor immigrants, but may need some human help filling out the forms. And money. With that money, sponsors commit to helping them through the first three months there, which can include securing and furnishing housing, stocking the pantry with food, supporting job hunts, and registering kids for school. […] by directly sponsoring refugees, citizens can offer them more social support than the government could alone, in part because they’re focused on one specific refugee or refugee family, rather than splitting their focus among thousands, as is inevitably the case with government agencies.
Read more about it here. Please don’t confuse it with the MAGA alternative, "Stay Home Corps," in which you raise $2,275 from your friends and then blow the money on booze and hookers while not adopting a refugee family and if anyone complains you threaten to shoot them. Subtle differences there.
CHEERS to safety nets. 83 years ago today, the first Social Security check (#00-000-001) was issued to Ida May Fuller—a Vermonter and childhood classmate of Calvin Coolidge—for $22.54. Or, as Republican leaders calls it: "$22.54 too much." Despite all the despicable fearmongering coming from the right that Social Security is "flat broke," Senator Jeff Merkley (D-OR) reminds us via email….
Here’s the truth: Social Security is fully solvent, and will be through 2038. So why all the bluster? It’s a giveaway to Wall Street, plain and simple. Starting with Ida May Fuller in 1940, our nation has a proud history of rewarding a lifetime of hard work with the promise of financial security in one’s golden years. It’s been the most effective anti-poverty program in the history of the world.
As always...much obliged, FDR.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x Artist Remington Robinson creates realistic miniature oil paintings inside mint tins. This is an old Nissan cargo truck in Mazunte, Mexico
[Instagram:
https://t.co/tcrxXFv5zR]
[site:
https://t.co/qtmqqjQlBk]pic.twitter.com/ID4b8IqDxu — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) January 27, 2023
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to lying liars. 22 years ago this week, President George W. Bush promised to "act boldly and swiftly" to deal with our challenges concerning energy. His brilliant idea: put Dick Cheney in charge of a secret task force that would make sure nothing happened boldly or swiftly. As a result, the big oil companies were forced to deal with the challenge of where to sock away all their record profits. (I guess that explains why the Exxon-Mobil CEO's mattress grew to be twelve stories high.)
CHEERS to nimble fingers vs. fumble fingers. If you missed the NFL action Sunday, here's what happened: the Chiefs beat the Bengals 23-20, and the Eagles sent the 49ers packing 31-7. (Don’t feel bad for the losers—they’re going home with a fabulous runner-up prize package that includes a Samsonite luggage set and $100 gift certificate from the Spiegel Catalog.) So it'll be the first football championship with two Black starting quarterbacks: Patrick Mahomes vs. Jalen Hurts on February 12th during Super Bowl XVVVVVVVVIIIIII½. And in other sports news, the winners over the weekend in the National Hockey League were, as usual, the players’ dentists.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 31, 2013
CHEERS to indoor grilling. Former Nebraska Senator Chuck Hagel, a Republican and President Obama's nominee for Secretary of Defense, gets his turn in the spotlight as he answers questions at his confirmation hearings today in front of the Senate Make War Not Whoopie Committee. Gee, I wonder if there will be any pearl-clutchers in the room:
Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas), the No. 2 Republican in the Senate, took to the floor of the upper chamber Wednesday to argue that Hagel’s nomination has already “done damage” to U.S. security.
He'll be watching the hearings from under his bed. Once his mom checks under it for monsters, of course.
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And just one more…
JEERS to theological whiplash. Just in case you're wondering, here's the latest from the Catholic church on being a gay human being:
✞ You're a sinner and you're going to hell. ✞ But are you a sinner, really? Who are we to judge? ✞ We are to judge, that’s who. We can't accept you or your silly same-sex marriages. ✞ Well…maybe civil unions might not be so bad. ✞ No, same-sex acts are sinful and you're going to hell. ✞ Well, okay, same-sex "tendencies" are fine, maybe. ✞ However, if those tendencies turn into acts, then it's the flames of hell for you, Bub. ✞ However—and this is really good news—it's not a crime. ✞ But it’s still a sin. ✞ But only an itty bitty sin. And only if you have sex outside of your same-sex marriage. ✞ Oh, almost forgot: the Catholic Church still forbids same-sex marriage.
We trust this clears up any confusion. May the head-scratching be with you. (And also with you.)
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial Fox’s Brian Kilmeade Makes Stunning Defense of Cheers and Jeers: ‘Better Kiddie Pool Than Any Country in the World’ —Mediaite
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[END]
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