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New Day Cafe: Twosday Tweet Thief! [1]
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Date: 2023-01-24
I freely admit that today’s giggles came from Twitter. Because they are parent-related, I’m just doing a copy and paste. Almost all parents go through these things, believe it or not. YOUR precious six-year-old was not the first to flush a dozen Legos and a raincoat down the loo. Sorry, but s/he’s just not that special! 😁
So, grab another cuppa and enjoy the discomfiture of other parents. You may laugh or cry, whichever way you’re moved.
I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house “YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!”
My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. This baby in the mirror is real trouble.
File under, “Yes, it comes for us all.”
Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, “Are you ok?” like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down.
I used the old “I gave birth to you” on my daughter, she said “That was one time”.
8 yo, singing quietly to himself "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth"
5 said she doesn’t need to go to school anymore because she can already count up to 10 and that’s enough because she probably won’t ever eat more than 10 cupcakes
Thinking about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them “orange meat cookies”
4yo: Mom found this house and no one was home there, so we just went in.
Him: You... just went in?
4yo: Yeah. Just looked around at their stuff.
(A museum. I took them to a museum.)
Tried to throw a slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and my three year old shrieked
“THAT’S MY DAUGHTER!!” Had no idea
[After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! This is exactly why I wanted chips!
My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth.
Him: you know too much of my personal business.
My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. This included the white “fairy dust” (baking soda).
So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell. Follow me for more parenting tips.
Felt very proud that my 10 yr old researched the history and culture of a Bavarian town we were visiting this weekend until she went on to speak in a German accent throughout our stay.
Apparently, my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. I can’t stop laughing.
I can promise you that this is not the only time something like this has happened. Not even this year!
I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it. When I asked my child if she put anything in mommy’s bed, she said “I did not put butter in it.” The mystery continues. More at 11.
And finally:
Parenting is a lot like talking to an automated phone attendant. You're hopeful at first, but then just end up repeating yourself and yelling.
And it’s not a bit better with pets!
New Day Cafe Is An Open Thread
What’s on your mind this morning?
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https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/1/24/2148365/-New-Day-Cafe-Twosday-Tweet-Thief
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