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We can hope for a better year but I never say Thank goodness this year is over and here is why. [1]

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Date: 2022-12-30

I like this much better than fireworks.

When I was a young adult, I would have a rough year and New Years Eve I would say, “ Thank Goodness this year is over”. I learned a very long time ago not to say that. I was still breathing which meant I had hope and no matter how rough a year can be, the next one can be worse. I learned that and never ever will you hear me say, “ Thank Goodness ( fill in the blanks of what ever year) is over. Not me. I won’t say that.

I came close to saying that in 2020 but then I remembered 2013, and 2015 and 2012 was a pretty rough year but nothing compared to the years to come.

In 2013 my beloved Daddy died and then my sweet cat of 14 years passed. My husband had his second heart attack, We had some bouts with sickness and my diabetic daughter/granddaughter was reeling in drugs , married and going into coma after coma and as a young addicted mother leaving her daughter with her bio Mom. My former daughter in law was remarried to a nice guy and my eldest son was getting good work. His girlfriend was murdered in 2004, They had broken up and she got involved with some bad folks in another state. He has had so many losses.

2015 rolled around and my grandson at 32 committed suicide. My diabetic daughter / granddaugher.. ( We had adopted her at age 10) was in Georgia and sick a lot from juvenile diabetes and drug addiction. By the time April 2021 rolled around, we got a call at 5:55 AM that she had died. That was horrendous. This was my biological son’s second child that died. I had just talked on the phone to her where she said she had been vaccinated against covid but that was not what she died from. I lost a few friends and family from Covid in 2021 and 2022.

Brandy at age 30 took something with fetanayl and did not take her insulin shot and died. That was April 2021. February 2022, we all had Covid., We were sick but that was not the worst.

2022 comes and we start off, all of us with January 6 and so much hatred and division. We should have know it started out pretty rough.

Remember us all trying to raise money which we did to get the biological grandmother to get custody of Brandy’s daughter that our messed up court systems were going to give her to a hardened criminal who had tried to kill Brandy after he got out of prison before she died. Well, my former daughter in law and her husband got temporary custody and one week before the final hearing, he had just gotten over Covid and we thought he was fine but my granddaughter called me and said my former daughter in law’s husband had killed himself in the bedroom with a gun. He went to work that day and came home and shot himself in the head. My former daughter in law found him. .

This was Feb. 2022 and then the very next day her former husband, my son, had a major heart attack. He then had another heart attack several weeks later. He survived but is still not well and they canceled his insurance because he can’t make enough money and in Florida medicaid is very hard to get. He has applied for disability social security. It hasn’t come through yet.

My husband then in 2022 had another heart attack. My former daughter in law and granddaughter came here and stayed for a couple of months to help me take care of all the sickness and on top of that we were both stressed over the sicknesses and deaths and near deaths in our family. She did get final custody of the 11 year old. That child is in counseling.

Her husband had not left a will and she spent from Feb to June getting finances over in her name as everything was in his name. The probate was nerve racking. We still do not have a clue why he killed himself. She called me yesterday and has Covid. She is in Ga. Wow, and down to 80 something lbs and still has not gone to the doctor.

After she went back to Ga. my husband had his 3 or 4th heart attack ( i have lost track) and has 4 stents now and between my only bio son and him. ( The two very loved men in my life ) has had emergency heart surgeries. and between them both, they have 6 stents. This was 2022. I then find out one of my friends in Ga has kidney failure and then my former daughter in law is below 90 lbs. She is still caring for our granddaughter. My son can’t work. This has been 2022 but I won’t say thank goodness it’s over because I have become paranoid not knowing what the next year brings. Our other son/grandson just lost his job and lives here as well. My youngest graduates this year and she is my caretaker in many ways. She says, “Mom, I’ll get that. or Mom sit down”. I also fell in 2022 but so glad I did not break anything. I was sure sore though.

Try to live one day at a time and light a candle and say, we made another day. I don’t celebrate New Years Eve and old enough and seen enough to know however bad the past year was, we never know what the next year brings.

I know this is a lot of negativity as there were some good times in 2022 but there was a lot of trauma. They also found a lump in my husband’s jaw several weeks ago and we are still waiting to find out what that is about. ( No dental problems). I don’t have the time or energy to help very many vets these days, as I try to help my own vet here at home.

I will say Happy New Year and may the light be with you.

This was just a gentle reminder to think we should be thankful for today because no one knows what next year or the next day will bring. I am not depressed. I am just living in reality. I also live it sober. I have never done drugs or drank. My little one is almost grown, is an honor student, and my right hand almost everyday. I am 72 and she is 17 and we are best friends. I also have a very best friend on this site and many other friends here and I love ya;ll. This community has always been good to me. I hope your future is bright and shiny.

This is my vet and me and grateful for the family and friends who are still with me and supportive and that includes all of you.

I am still afraid of Covid and the flu and can’t take the vaccines due to allergies but I still pray and thank God for bringing me through a rough year. I bought a used convertable in 2022 and traded in my gas guzzler even though it was a newer car and take the top down and ride with the wind when I get too overwhelmed.

I did manage to cut a CD this year. Music is healing. One of my songs that I cut.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/12/30/2144480/-We-can-hope-for-a-better-year-but-I-never-say-Thank-goodness-this-year-is-over-and-here-is-why

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