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By George, Why Stop Lying Now? [1]

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Date: 2022-12-28

“Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.” – George Costanza, Seinfeld.

In a Republican Party filled with liars, clowns, and fools, George Santos has hit the ground running.

Santos is a newly elected Congressman from New York who, it turns out, hasn’t been telling the truth about himself. Some may call them embellishments. I call them bald-faced lies. You can be the judge.

*He falsely claimed that he worked for the financial firms Citigroup and Goldman Sachs. Now he says he worked for them through his company. Santos called this a “poor choice of words.”

*He said he had degrees from Baruch College and New York University, when in reality he has never graduated from any college or university.

*He claimed his grandparents “survived the Holocaust” as Ukrainian Jewish refugees from Belgium who changed their surname. He has said he was “very proud” of his “Jewish heritage.” But sources, including family trees compiled by genealogy websites, records on Jewish refugees, and interviews with multiple genealogists, contradicted this, CNN reported.

“I never claimed to be Jewish,” Santos told the New York Post. “I am Catholic. Because I learned my maternal family had a Jewish background, I said I was ‘Jew-ish.’”

“I’m not going to make excuses for this, but a lot of people overstate in their resumes, or twist a little bit,” he said. “I’m not saying I’m not guilty of that.”

Actually, he’s guilty of being a liar and an idiot. The sad fact is the Republican Party probably won’t care. He’s another vote in their quest for power. This is a party that backed a credibility accused pedophile for a Senate seat from Alabama, staunchly defends a historically corrupt former president, gives a pass to a mob of insurrectionists who attacked the Capitol, and embraces unfit candidates like Herschel Walker and equally bad members of Congress like Marjorie Taylor Greene. Hell, Santos is just one of the gang when you come to think of it.

Not surprisingly, spineless House speaker hopeful Kevin McCarthy refused to answer questions from CNN when asked if he was concerned about the situation.

The only question I have for Santos is why, considering the current state of his party, would he stop lying now? Why not just keep pushing the envelope, considering that he has miles to go to match the party’s leader – twice impeached, disgraced former president Donald Trump – in the pathological lying department.

So, let’s see if we can think up some more lies for Santos to tell. How about these?

*With our nation reeling from the Covid-19 pandemic, it was Santos who created the first vaccine to combat the virus. However, while out volunteering at a nearby orphanage, the formula was stolen from his apartment. Unfortunately, he fell and hit his head while pulling a child out of a burning building on his way home, jarring the formula from his memory forever.

*In line with his “Jew-ish” background, Santos served as prime minister of Israel for several years in the 1970s.

*After confidently predicting victory, Santos quarterbacked the New York Jets to their historic upset of the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III. Santos threw seven touchdown passes that day and ran for three other scores. In his career, Santos passed for 73,000 yards and 1,013 touchdowns.

*Before a capacity crowd at Madison Square Garden in July 1968, Santos defeated world wrestling champion Bruno Sammartino, finishing off his opponent with his patented “Santostizer” move. Santos was later stripped of his title when he refused to give Sammartino a rematch, instead fulfilling a previous commitment to lead a humanitarian aid mission to the wilds of Africa.

*As the Cuban Missile Crisis unfolded in October 1962, President John Kennedy sent Santos to Russia for secret high-level negotiations with Russian leader Nikita Khrushchev. Santos not only was able to end the crisis, he and Khrushchev became good friends, spending many hours drinking beer, skeet shooting, and watching porn movies during their numerous visits together until the Russian’s death in 1971.

*Santos stunned the baseball world with his dramatic home run in the bottom of the ninth inning of game seven of the 1961 World Series, giving the Pittsburgh Pirates an upset victory over the powerhouse New York Yankees. For his career, Santos slugged 862 home runs, but none bigger than his faithful blast that day in Forbes Field.

*As Jonas Salk struggled to create his polio vaccine back in the 1950s, it was Santos, a then-little-known chemist, who developed the compounds that would make it work. Sadly, Salk hogged all the credit and as a result Santos never achieved his rightful place in scientific history.

*Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa mountaineer Tenzing Norgay are credited with being the first climbers to have reached the summit of Mount Everest in May 1953. In reality, Santos accomplished that feat in the summer of 1952. Attempts to rename the mountain Mount Santos have been unsuccessful so far.

*When Harry Truman was facing almost certain defeat to Thomas Dewey in the election of 1948 it was Santos who encouraged the president to not give up hope. In gratitude after his stunning victory, Truman offered Santos the position of ambassador to France, however Santos declined, saying, “There’s too much unhealthy food over there.”

*As President Franklin Roosevelt and Prime Minister Winston Churchill pondered what to do about the ongoing war in Europe, it was Santos who railed, “Will you two clowns get your act together,” resulting in the successful military alliance between the two countries.

*When Margaret Mitchell was writing her classic novel “Gone With the Wind” back in the 1920s, Santos, then working as a visiting professor of English literature at a nearby college and moonlighting as a bareback rider in a traveling circus, suggested changing Rhett Butler’s final line from “Why should I care?” to “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” The rest is history.

Whether Santos suffers any consequences for his flight from reality remains to be seen. Still, why not go big or go home. Anything is possible when you’re shameless.

Our politicians show us that every day.

***

Thank you for reading my post You can see my other writings on my blog: Musings of a Nobody.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/12/28/2144174/-By-George-Why-Stop-Lying-Now

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