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It's Christmas Eve. Won't you help the politically homeless? /sn [1]
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Date: 2022-12-24
This is Bethesda 1971’s First Annual Christmas Eve Appeal to help those among us who are “Politically Homeless.” These are our suffering fellow citizens who are appalled by MAGA Republicans, but just cannot bring themselves to support the Democrats because they are “just as extreme.” Some also call themselves “Homeless Centrists.”
You can find them on Twitter, on op-ed pages of major newspapers, on CNN and even MSNBC. Some mayors of large cities have pledged to solve the Homeless Centrist problem, but no matter their efforts, the hapless Centrists proliferate in green rooms and mastheads all over New York, Washington, DC, and LA, where they must endure close proximity to dreaded “liberal coastal elites.” Contact with even a single “elite” automatically drives them away from the left and back to the center.
One writer, who identifies himself at Politically Homeless meetings as “David B,” is so bereft of a political home, he can only be found weekly on the op-ed page of the New York Times, on NPR and PBS, on Sunday talk shows, and living on meager stipends from speaking at large organizations. You can tell it’s him by his habit of repeatedly invoking the “Trump Right” and the “Sanders Left,” or his tic of writing “the Republican fever has broken” every six months or a year. He used to be easy to spot talking about the sanctity of marriage and evil of divorce, until he left his wife for his much younger research assistant. Flailing about, he has been compelled to write about "cosmopolitan global elites" -- a common anti-Semitic trope. Truly the man needs help.
Some of them have managed to scrape together some spare change to found bare-bones groups of like-minded Homeless Centrists like “Third Way,” “No Labels” or “The Forward Party.” These groups rely on contributions of other politically homeless centrists who somehow have accumulated billions of dollars to donate to these needy centrists. You can tell it’s them when you hear them chanting “Taylor Greene on the right, but the Squad on the left” over and over in an ecstatic mantra.
Here is one brave soul who had the guts to come out to the world as a Homeless Centrist:
x The "Twitter Files" have done more than anything in a while to make me feel like a homeless centrist. My TL is filled w people on the left dismissing/mocking the revelations & people on the right making it out to be an insidious, tyrannical plot. Both are partisan distortions. — Damon Linker (@DamonLinker) December 10, 2022
Damon felt so helpless about this he was compelled to appear on a podcast hosting by Eli Lake, a fellow “centrist” who believes “Russia-gate’ was a largely a hoax and Trump was right to pardon Michael Flynn. And how dare we on the left dismiss and mock the “revelations” as News Corpse definitely did here on Daily Kos. What’s important is Damon felt the Twitter Files showed something.
As is so often the case, I’ll leave the last word to the great NY Times Pitchbot:
x Between Elon Musk banning reporters he doesn't like and online liberals giving out White Lotus spoilers, I have never felt more politically homeless. — New York Times Pitchbot (@DougJBalloon) December 16, 2022
Won’t you please help?
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