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What crimes has Donald Trump ever committed? (Life of Brian) [1]

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Date: 2022-12-21

Apologies to Monty Python's Life of Brian

Reg: What crimes has Donald Trump ever committed?

Xerxes: Campaign finance crimes?

Reg: What?

Xerxes: Campaign finance crimes.

Reg: Oh. Yeah, yeah. He did do that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.

Commando #3: And intentional interference with elections.

Loretta: Oh, yeah, intentional interference with elections, Reg. Don't forget Georgia!

Reg: Yeah. All right. I'll grant you campaign finance crimes and intentional interference with elections are two possible charges.

Matthias: Witness tampering.

Reg: Well, yeah. Obviously witness tampering. I mean, witness tampering goes without saying, doesn't it? But apart from campaign finance crimes, intentional interference with elections, witness tampering--

Loretta: Perjury.

Commando #1: Making false statements.

Xerxes: Conspiracy to commit election fraud.

Commandos: Huh? Heh? Huh...

Commando #2: Influencing government officials to withhold or alter records.

Commandos: Ohh...

Reg: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

Commando #1: Criminal solicitation of a felony.

Commandos: Oh, yes. Yeah...

Francis: Interfering with primaries and elections.

Commando #1: Obstruction of an official proceeding.

Loretta: Conspiracy to defraud, Reg.

Francis: Conspiracy to prevent an officer from discharging duties.

Commando #3: Coercion of political activity.

Xerxes: Seditious conspiracy.

Matthias: RICO.

Commando #2: Wire fraud.

Loretta: Unauthorized possession of national defense information and concealment.

Matthias: Removal or destruction of government records.

Xerxes: Bank fraud.

Matthias: Tax fraud.

Commandos: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Reg: All right, but apart from campaign finance crimes, intentional interference with elections, witness tampering, perjury, making false statements, conspiracy to commit election fraud, influencing government officials to withhold or alter records, criminal solicitation of a felony, interfering with primaries and elections, obstruction of an official proceeding, conspiracy to defraud, conspiracy to prevent an officer from discharging duties, coercion of political activity, seditious conspiracy, RICO, wire fraud, unauthorized possession of national defense information and concealment, removal or destruction of government records, bank fraud and tax fraud, what crimes has Donald Trump ever committed?

Xerxes: Obstruction of Justice?

Reg: Oh. Obstruction of Justice? Shut up!

[END]
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[1] Url: https://dailykos.com/stories/2022/12/21/2143156/-What-crimes-has-Donald-Trump-ever-committed-Life-of-Brian

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