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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1]
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Date: 2022-12-21
Others on Fred’s list:
“The Court reverses course today for one reason and one reason only: because the composition of this Court has changed.”
—U.S. Supreme Court Justices Breyer, Sotomayor and Kagan, from their dissenting opinion in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, which overturned Roe v. Wade “If you’re the President of the United States, you can declassify just by saying ‘It’s declassified,’ even by thinking about it.”
—Trump “I need ammunition, not a ride.”
—Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, in response to a U.S. offer to transport him to safety after Russia started its invasion
And one not on Fred’s list but a good one because it hints at victories like the federal Protect Marriage Act, and setbacks like the wave of MAGA-inspired anti-LGBTQ laws cascading across the country:
“When we started the show, I couldn’t say ‘gay.’ I was not allowed to say ‘gay.’ I say it at home a lot—you know, ‘What are we having for our gay breakfast?’ or ‘Pass the gay salt,’ or ‘Has anyone seen the gay remote?’ But we couldn’t say ‘gay.’ I couldn’t say ‘we’ because that would imply that I was with someone. Sure couldn’t say ‘wife,’ and that’s because it wasn’t legal for gay people to get married. Now I say ‘wife’ all the time.”
—Ellen DeGeneres, signing off from the hit show she’d hosted since 2003
I don’t know exactly what 2023 will bring, but I'll take a wild guess and say it'll be loud and obnoxious. This is, after all, America. Our colors may not run, but our mouths sure do.
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, December 21, 2022
Note: Sorry, neighbors. That wasn't a tornado that tore through your bushes yesterday. It was just me trying to get the hang of this whole dreidel business.
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By the Numbers:
10 days!!!
Days 'til Kwanzaa and Boxing Day: 5
Days 'til the First Night Talbot Crab Drop in Easton, Maryland: 10
Months the House Jan. 6 Committee worked on unraveling the events of Trump's attempted 2021 coup: 17
Trump's current approval rating among registered voters in the latest Quinnipiac poll, his lowest in 7 years: 31%
Minimum number of MAGA idiots who have been criminally charged by DOJ so far, with hundreds more teed up: 900
Drop in Amazon's stock value in 2022, their worst year since 2000: -49%
Current score in the war on Christmas: 7-3 (Pagans lead)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 5 episodes of rampant immorality and 1 very naughty Savior). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Some say he's irresistible. Others disagree. And we're out of time so we'll have to leave it there…
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CHEERS to hitting another milestone on this crazy tilt-a-whirl we call Earth. Autumn ends with a gentle sputter-sputter-wheeze at 4:48 EST this afternoon—when the sun is directly over the Tropic of Capricorn, or 23.5° south latitude—and will be replaced with the season popularly known as "Is it !#&%!! spring yet?" Today is also the shortest day of the year, daylight-wise, so at least we can look forward to slivers of extra light through late June. Plus: nothing tastes better in winter than steaming clam chowder chugged from an L.L. bean boot during a blizzard. And now, here it is: your Moment of Stonehenge…
True Fact: These are actually all petrified kippers.
Bonus winter tip: Remember that during ice storms, there's no need to shovel or salt your sidewalk. We recommend you do fun stuff instead. A public service message from the Society of Unscrupulous Chiropractors and Personal Injury Lawyers.
CHEERS and JEERS to dashing through the airspace corridors in a 10 20 35 50-dollars-per-carry-on-bag sardine can full of anti-vax cultists. Good news: holiday traffic is expected to be up again this year, meaning more of us are in a traveling mood. Bad news: if you're out in it, it's gonna suck tailpipe:
AAA estimates 112.7 million people will journey 50 miles or more away from home from December 23 to January 2. That’s an increase of 3.6 million people over last year and closing in on pre-pandemic numbers. 2022 is expected to be the third busiest year for holiday travel since AAA began tracking in 2000. If you must travel, AAA recommends a jetpack for maximum social distancing. Nearly 102 million Americans will drive to their holiday destinations. Despite roller-coaster gas prices in 2022, this holiday season will see an additional 2 million drivers compared to 2021. Travel by car this year is on par with 2018 but shy of 2019 when 108 million Americans drove out of town for the holidays, the highest year on record. Air travel will see a 14% increase over last year, with nearly 7.2 million Americans expected to fly. Flights and airports will be packed this holiday season, reminiscent of pre-pandemic days. … travel by bus, rail, and cruise ship will rise to 3.6 million this holiday season, a 23% increase from last year and nearly 94% of 2019’s volume.
But still lurking out there: Covid-19 in all its nefarious forms, and the flu. So, to all the careless travelers from all the health care workers who will have to deal with their flooded lungs in a few weeks: Merry Middle Finger to you all.
CHEERS to Dramamine. On December 21, 1620, 103 Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth, Massachusetts following a rough two-month voyage aboard the Mayflower. And what are the chances they would just happen to step right onto the Plymouth Rock? Man, that is some excellent GPS right there, bub.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x If you have stress buy this! pic.twitter.com/Cxt2rCdxY1 — Thingy things (@nerds_feed) December 18, 2022
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to bad spelling. On today's date in 1989, Vice President Dan Quayle sent out 30,000 Christmas cards that said: "May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world." Really:
We're sure he regerts the mistake.
JEERS to another whoopsie-daisy. Clumsy, clumsy. Another Russian billionaire has gone to the big pot of borscht in the sky, this time after "falling down the stairs."
The 50-year-old was the former owner of Russian developer Don-Stroy, which constructed the 61-story Triumph Palace Tower in Moscow, one of the tallest residential structures in Europe. Before the company fell under the control of Russia’s state-owned bank VTB after succumbing to the 2008financial crisis, Zelenov’s net worth was estimated at $1.4 billion, landing him on the Forbes list of Russian billionaires. Thoughts and prayers to the wife and mistress. Zelenov is the latest in along line of top figures in the Russian oil, gas, technology, and financial sectors to meet suspicious and untimely ends—the most recent being Anatoly Gerashchenko.
You can catch an instant-replay this Sunday on Ukraine's new #1-rated TV show: Collapsing Russian Empire's Funniest Home Videos.
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Ten years ago in C&J: December 21, 2012
CHEERS to Election Day III: Elector Boogalo. First we voted in the primaries. Then we voted in the general. And yesterday the 2012 election season came to an official close as the delegates to the electoral college cast their votes for President and Vice President. The results are now signed, sealed and delivered: Barack Hussein Obama has officially been given the green light to remain our 44th President of the United States, with Joe Biden as his wingman. Here's the report from our neck of the woods:
[Maine's] four presidential electors formally cast their ballots to re-elect President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden on Monday, formalizing the Democrats’ victory in last month’s elections.
On our to-do list today, at long last: spike that football in the end zone, baby.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to making a joyful noise. If you’re wondering why you’re hearing all those orgasm carols on the radio, there’s a good reason: today is Global Orgasm for Peace Day. Your mission, should you decide to ahhhhhccept it:
This is the 9th year of the Global Orgasm for World Peace, held annually on the December Solstice & New Year. Millions of satisfied people around the world have participated, saying Yes! to World Peace in their own special way. Through links with the Noosphere Project at Princeton University, and more recently The Center for Subtle Activism, the Global O has been able to contribute in a unique way to the new sciences of the collective mind. We ask that you vote for a brighter future with your orgasm. Use it to pray for Peace. With you will be millions of people around the world.
What can we say? O come all ye faithful. Come one, come all. Come rain or come shine. Just don’t come on-a my house. Show a little class.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "Does Bill in Portland Maine like me? or will he pick me? Instead, sometimes the question is, 'Do I like him?'" —Novalee Wilder
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[END]
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https://dailykos.com/stories/2022/12/21/2142806/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday
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