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Customer Disservice. A Rant. [1]

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Date: 2022-12-20

Welcome to the Street Prophets Coffee Hour.

I don't do self checkout. I tried to a few times and discovered that the process comes to a screeching halt if I so much as breathe on the machine the wrong way. The attending cashier has to come over, figure out what went wrong, and attempt to fix it. On one occasion she had me start over at a different register. The one I'd tried to use had given up it's little computerized mechanical ghost. The people waiting in the ever-lengthening line behind me were irritated. A process that was supposed to make it faster to pay and leave had become slower and more frustrating than just waiting for a human cashier to ring up your purchases.

I suspect it's also just a way for the store to get by with hiring fewer actual human employees. By getting the customers to do the work instead at no cost to the company. Eff that.

For now at least supermarkets still offer the option of interacting with an actual human being to pay for your groceries, and won't have you jump through flaming hoops across piranha infested waters before you can get to the cashier. Phone calls to so-called customer service lines, though…

For this, press one! For that, press two! For whatever press dgyhbfdg! Never telling you that if your problem isn't one, two, or whatever, and you really do need to speak with an actual human being then you should just keep pressing 0 as many times as it takes. I suspect they're hoping you'll just give up and go away.

I've been trying to access the funds on my husband's debit card; his last paycheck was directly deposited. He released the card to me along with his other property. I had his full permission, and the pin number. There's a little over $1600 dollars in there. Not a huge sum but we really could use it. I can get a balance inquiry at an ATM. But no cash.

Turns out that the card was frozen by the issuer. (H&R Block Emerald Card). They say they spotted fraudulent charges. But just getting that much information from them was like pulling teeth from an annoyed, non-anesthetized rhinoceros. After pressing 0 about a dozen times I finally got to speak to someone who sounded like he was sitting in a soccer stadium in Brazil during a playoff game. He couldn't help me and transferred me to someone else. Who sounded like his office was situated in the middle of an open-air market in Cambodia. After asking him to repeat himself a few times I finally found that I'd need to get a power of attorney form, signed by my husband and myself, witnessed and notarized. He asked me to stay on hold while he transferred me to someone else who would tell me how to get all of that to them. Of course you already know what happened next.

*fizz* *crackle* *buzzzzzz*...."if you'd like to make a call please hang up and dial again" Yep. Disconnected.

I gave up trying to talk to them that day. And set about getting the necessary forms, getting them filled out. Dropping off the portions that my husband needed to sign and get notarized at the jail. Taking my portion to the public library to do likewise. That all took a about a week.

Today I girded myself for another round of phone tag with H&R Blockhead Emetic Card Disservice. Got a very nice, polite lady who actually didn't have a cacophony of background noise going on. Which is good, because I could barely understand a single word she said. First thing she wanted to know was why I needed to do this? And for the eleventyumpteenth time I explained that my husband is in jail. No, he can't come to the phone. No, he can't call you himself. No, he can't send you anything.

I finally got a fax number, and a list of other information they'll need in addition to the power of attorney form. Because of course there's a lot more I wasn't told about the first time. It took nearly half an hour because she kept having to ask someone else what all was required. And I kept having to ask her to repeat herself. I'm sorry but "affection box affeece" sounds nothing like "attention: back office". She couldn't or wouldn't take my email address. I'll have to call them in a few days, as many times as it takes to find out if they got my fax.

After which I'll have to start a different process for them to issue a new card and transfer the money to it. Assuming of course that the fax had all the information they need. It's entirely possible that they'll tell me that a paragraph about something completely unrelated to our debit card stuff (say, charitable donations to yak sanctuaries in Nepal) was improperly marked on the POA. Or maybe I neglected to include my blood type, his blood type, and whether our son was circumcised as an infant. Oh, and what's your maternal great-grandmother's cousin's maiden name?

If I'm very lucky I might actually be able to use that $1600 eventually.

Thank you for reading (and for letting me vent). This is an open thread, all topics are welcome. Have a customer disservice story of your own? Feel free to vent yourself in the comments.

ETA- the fax was sent last Saturday. This morning, Tuesday, I called to check whether it had been received. (And as before, I could barely understand a word she said.) It had. But now they require a picture of my driver's license. Something I specifically asked about the last time I called. And had been told that only my husband's was necessary. I have to resend the entire document again, plus my driver's license. A total of eleven pages. The representative didn't mention it, but I'm going to include my Social Security number as well. If I don't, it's bound to be the next thing they decide to require.

This entire episode has me wondering if this company is somehow convinced that I am destined for eternal torment, and in the spirit of truly helpful customer service, wants to give me a free sample before I get there.

Once this is over I will never do business with them again.

[END]
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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/12/20/2142238/-Customer-Disservice-A-Rant

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