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Still the Man of Steal [1]
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Date: 2022-12-15
Faster than a thinning mullet! More powerful than a criminal motive! Able to spew tall tales in a single tweet!
Look! Up in the clouds! It’s a bomb! It’s a plague! It’s Superdon!
Aside to him: there you go again. Two years ago, on the White House’s Truman Balcony, he reportedly wanted to doff his shirt to reveal a hero’s costume. Now, in a shamelessly puerile promo, his paunch sublimes to reveal abs the Chrysler Building might envy.
All to hype a “major announcement.” (Call me naive, but I was hoping he might FINALLY admit President Biden beat him.)
Oh, well. Turns out his self-aggrandizing glitz smacked mainly of hucksterism-writ-large. Send the high rolling scion (who’s managed to go bankrupt six times) $99 (from the hard-earned pittance on which you get by), and you’ll receive a genuine, bona fide NFT.
Nice For Trump. Not so much for those who recall how ‘majorly’ some not-so-”liberal” outlets went to bat for him in 2016- for instance, on the many occasions when he promised a “major speech,” reporting those words sans quote marks (as if they were Gospel).
Better late than never, let’s help him get real. Given his palpably expanding girth, should we call him The Incredible Bulk? Or perhaps, in light of his recent rants seeking major surgery (on his behalf) on the Constitution, Captain Hysteria?
One thing’s for sure: Captain America he’s not. Defending and protecting and shielding us from nogoodniks, evildoers, and Roger Stone is not his forte.
Not to say he never eats his Wheaties or basks in kryptonite. For instance, with zero evidence, he’s convinced nearly 4 Americans in 10 that Biden may not have legitimately displaced him; surely he must have some superpower in play.
They say falsehood flies. Evidently it soars around NYC with Lois Lane and/or Stormy Daniels in its arms. In any case, there’s nothing super- or, let’s hope, Presidential- about it. If ever truth, justice, and the American way had a Lex Luthor, it would have to be MAGA Man. Former Guy. Big Blonder. (Sad. But true.)
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