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Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday [1]
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Date: 2022-12-13
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, December 13, 2022
Note: Now available in your local grocer's deli section: fresh, crispy Good King Wences Slaw with real bits of Wences. Pick some up today!
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By the Numbers:
Ends in 11 days.
Days 'til International Migrants Day: 5
Days 'til the end of the Greenwich Reindeer Festival in Connecticut: 11
Number of Americans who have been sick with the flu so far this season, with 120,000 hospitalized according to the CDC: 13 million
Amount, on average, by which it is now cheaper to gas up an SUV from a month ago: $10
Drop in e-commerce inflation in November: -1.9%
Percent chance independent voters are thrilled to have Kyrsten Sinema representing them now in the Senate: 0%
Age of Ms. Co-founder Dorothy Pitman Hughes when she died over the weekend: 84
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Escort…
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CHEERS to the end of all our energy problems. Always gotta love it when the nerds with slide-rules in their pockets make a breakthrough:
For the first time ever, US scientists at the National Ignition Facility at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California successfully produced a nuclear fusion reaction resulting in a net energy gain – a source familiar with the project confirmed to CNN. […] I’m told this is the key to fusion. The result of the experiment is a massive step in a decades-long quest to unleash an infinite source of clean energy that could help end dependence on fossil fuels. Researchers have for decades attempted to recreate nuclear fusion–replicating the fusion that powers the sun.
In response to the news, Elon Musk bought the National Ignition Facility and fired all the employees, Fox News complained that the breakthrough didn’t include the freeing of Paul Whelan, and Marjorie Taylor Greene said they would've invented fusion faster if they’d used automatic weapons. Happy Tuesday in America, everyone.
CHEERS to not resting on your broken bike frame. Special Counsel Jack Smith, the guy AG Garland hired to oversee the January 6th investigations, fell off his bike in Europe, where he's now recuperating. But even though he's across the pond, CNN says he's still charging ahead with a team over here whose size surprised even me (and nothing surprises me anymore):
Since Thanksgiving, Smith has brought a number of close Trump associates before a grand jury in Washington, including two former White House lawyers, three of Trump’s closest aides, and his former speechwriter Stephen Miller. PLEASE tell me Mattel sells a Jack Smith action figure. He has also issued a flurry of subpoenas, including to election officials in battleground states where Trump tried to overturn his loss in 2020. Smith takes over a staff that’s already nearly twice the size of Robert Mueller’s team of lawyers who worked on the Russia probe. A team of 20 prosecutors investigating January 6 and the effort to overturn the 2020 election are in the process of moving to work under Smith, according to multiple people familiar with the team. “Mueller was starting virtually from scratch, whereas Jack Smith is seemingly integrating on the fly into an active, fast-moving investigation,” said Elie Honig, a former federal prosecutor and senior CNN legal analyst.
I have only two words for how I want this investigation to end: "Dear Santa…"
CHEERS to happy gays. Forty-nine years ago this week, in 1973, the American Psychiatric Association declared that homosexuality is not a mental illness. But to this day they still declare that being a Log Cabin Republican is "puzzling."
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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x Starfish walk using hundreds of tiny tube feet on the underside of their arms, as seen in this fascinating timelapse by Juliette Horn at the Frost Museum of Science. pic.twitter.com/Y9AjV6VuR2 — Wonder of Science (@wonderofscience) December 10, 2022
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to trapping a very large rat. Nineteen years ago today, members of the 4th Infantry Division's 1st Brigade found Saddam Hussein stinking up a "spider hole" near Tikrit. He was given a public trial and then executed. Or as Hussein himself would've said when he was still in power: "Hey, you did that backwards."
JEERS to oil, oil everywhere. As if to underscore the spot-on correctness of environmentalists whose warnings keep falling on the deliberately deaf ears of those willing to rape and pillage the earth for money so they can afford their mansions, summer homes, private schools, swimming pools, summer homes, hookers, and blow, the laws of inevitability have struck again:
A ruptured pipe dumped enough oil this week into a northeastern Kansas creek to nearly fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool, becoming the largest onshore crude pipeline spill in nine years and surpassing all the previous ones on the same pipeline system combined, according to federal data. Oh, just throw some cat litter on it and it’ll be fine. The Keystone pipeline spill in a creek running through rural pastureland in Washington County, Kansas, about 150 miles (240 kilometers) northwest of Kansas City, also was the biggest in the system's history, according to U.S. Department of Transportation data. The operator, Canada-based TC Energy, said the pipeline that runs from Canada to Oklahoma lost about 14,000 barrels, or 588,000 gallons.
For its part, the profits-first executives at TC Energy say they're fully prepared to deal with the oil spill appropriately. They've dispatched a team of experienced professionals in white lab coats and hard hats to look thoughtful as they stroke their chins and make check marks on a clipboard. A media consultant skilled in the art of giving the thumbs-up sign to reporters will be airdropped in around noon.
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Ten years ago in C&J: December 13, 2012
JEERS to crazies with anti-gravity devices. Here's another one of those caught-with-our-pants-down-around-our-ankles moments. It came as a surprise when news broke that North Korea launched an ominous, mysterious, they're-up-to-no-good long-range rocket yesterday morning. No one's sure what it was for, exactly, but if it's North Korea it must have something to do with their nuke program. And unlike in April when their previous rocket test resulted in a fireball of FAIL, this one stayed airborne. The Japanese government confirmed that the rocket passed over their island of Okinawa, "though no action was taken to shoot it down." To which Okinawa replied: "Yeah, we need to have a little chat about that, Slow Draw McGraw."
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And just one more…
CHEERS to nature's fabulous light show. If you're up late tonight and you have a desire to feel small and insignificant, here's something you'll love: the Geminid meteor shower is putting on a show that’s…
..expected to peak in 2022, on December 14. The Geminids are a reliable shower for those who watch around 2 a.m. local time from a dark-sky location. We also often hear from those who see Geminid meteors in the late evening hours. But this year, a waning gibbous moon will be above the horizon during peak time for viewing. One option is to try watching in moonlight on the nights of December 13 and 14. To heighten the experience, make little whooshing sounds when you see a meteor. The bold, white, bright Geminids give us one of the Northern Hemisphere’s best showers. The Geminids are also visible, at lower rates, from the Southern Hemisphere. The meteors are plentiful, rivaling the August Perseids. [...] Geminid meteors tend to be bold, white and quick. The brightest ones will overcome the light of the moon.
They say you'll need twenty minutes or so of staring into total darkness before your eyes get properly adjusted. Or, to speed up the process, you can just spend 30 seconds staring into Elon Musk’s soul.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial "All right, Bill in Portland Maine is, he’s out there. He’s goofy and stupid and ignorant." —James Carville
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[END]
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