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Republican Debate 2024 [1]
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Date: 2022-11-16
Ron DeSantis is running. Trump is running. Some other Republicans are running. Trump has nicknames. Trump is also getting slower and confused: “J. P. Mandel”. The entire Republican party is wacko.
Fox News Blonde, speaking dramatically: “Good evening. Today we debate. Who will take back our great country from the marxist woke liberal hordes? Who will restore our country to greatness? Who will avenge the stolen election of 2020?
Today, Three candidates battle for the soul of America. Donald John Trump, presid..(Sorry, can’t write it) and entrepreneur. Ronald DeSantis, governor of Florida, winner of the largest margin in history. And Nikki Haley, former secretary of state, beating democrats to the first Woman President if elected.”
The candidates raise hands when called. We see Trump mouth “that’s me” when called.
Fox Blonde: “Our first question, for Mr. DeSantis. What will you do to stop creeping wokeness in this great country?”
DeSantis: “In Florida, we haven’t talked about wokeness. We’ve fought wokeness. I’ve removed transgender and homosexual groomers from schoo…”
Trump: “WWRong”
DeSantis: “...ools. We’ve fired 5000 teachers. We’ve banned the most books of any state. Mr. Trump here may attack me…”
Trump: smiles, shakes head. “Ron DeSanct..Sacr...DeSancrimonious. See, he’s sanctimonious and acrimonious. I know words better than anyone. I helped him. I made him win. If it wasn’t for me Criminal Gillum would have won. We’d be laughing at Florida. Governor under investigation by the FBI. Total laughingstock. He almost lost, I saved him, he was behind, I saved him. He…”
DeSantis looks angry
Fox blonde: “We’ll have to stop you there…
Trump:”What”
Fox blonde, dramatically: “Good response, but we need to stop there. We need to hear from Nikki Haley. Secretary Haley, what would you do about wokeness in our schools?”
Haley, speaking forcefully and confidently: “I am as fully committed to fighting wokeness as anyone in this party. While I was governor of South Carolina, I personally executed ten groomer teachers. (Speaking listlike, point by point) I incised their throats, cut their reproductive gonads off, and forcefully inserted them into the wounds. But you don’t just need big words to fight wokeness, you need experience. My long record, before these two were elected (turns to look at DeSantis and Trump), speaks to my convicti…
Trump: “Nikki Helpless worked for me. She never did anything. She sat around, collected a paycheck. Total Loser. Conspired with Biden to let Russia invade. I know Putin, Putin and I are great friends. No one knows Putin better than I do. Nikki Helpless worked with Biden so Russia and the Jews could invade Ukrai…”
Fox Blonde: “Jews?”
Trump: “What?”
Fox Blonde: “You said Russia and the Jews invaded Ukraine. Which Jews are invading Ukraine?”
Trump: “The Jews. There’s lots of Jews. Lots of good ones. We’re good friends, Jews are my best friends, great with money. Lots who like Israel. But some bad ones. DeSancrimonious likes the bad ones. He liked the really bad ones. I like the good ones. You know, if it wasn’t for me, he would have lost….”
DeSantis looks angrier. Wetness is seen around his eyes.
Trump: “That election so bad. He would.”
Fox Blonde: “Mr. Trump, that’s good to know, but we need to hear from Secretary Haley about her war on wokeness.”
Trump: shakes head. “They suck. They both suck..”
Fox Blonde: “Secretary Haley”
Haley: “I was just saying that before these two were elected. I was fighting wokeness with all the powers of the governor of South Carolina.”
DeSantis’s eyes look wetter. Finally, he talks.
DeSantis: “Someone is eating onions in this room, you can stop now.”
No one moves.
DeSantis; “You can put those onions away right now. This is food free.”
DeSantis rubs his eyes clear.
Fox blonde: “Secretary Haley, Governor DeSantis. You’ve fought with Mr. Trump. Do you have any tough words for each other?”
DeSantis, still looking hurt and angry: “Nikki Haley talks experience. I banned trans and gay teaching. I stopped election Fraud. (angrily) What did she do for 4 years?” Snarling look on face. Speaks angrily. “She is challenging the most successful governor of the millennium. Ms. Haley should go back home.”
Nikki Haley, angrily and forcefully: “I did my part in South Carolina. South Carolina law enforcement burned down more abortion clinics than any other state during my time in office. But we cannot just burn clinics down. We must cut taxes, I did that. Attract businesses and wealth, I also did that. While my fellow governor pulled his stunt with immigrants, I was negotiating with our North American and European partners to hunt down and kill any friends, family, and dogs of anyone even thinking of crossing a border illegally. Where does governor DeSantis get such experience? Ladies and Gentlemen, I will bring this experience to that white house as your next president.
DeSantis looks hurt and angry again.
Fox Blonde: “Now let’s talk about out of control crime in Portland, New York, Chicago, and San Francisco. How will you achieve red state crime rates in these cities if elected president? Secretary Haley…”
Haley: “I would…”
[END]
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