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A dog walks into a bar... The Village 11-16-22 'Cuz we all need a laugh edition. [1]
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Date: 2022-11-16
Hope you do, too
A dog walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, get me a jack … and Coke.”
“Sure thing, but what’s with the small pause?” asks the bartender.
“I don’t know, I’ve had them my whole life.”
x As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice. — PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) November 12, 2022
Descartes walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
“Want another?” asked the bartender.
“I think not”, Descartes replied … then he disappeared.
x She had some important work to do in the land of Oz. pic.twitter.com/eRnOC8gBrs — Rob Major (@RobMajor4) November 14, 2022
A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. As he sits there, mulling over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, "That shirt looks great on you!”
The man looks around, doesn’t see anything, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, “You seem like a really cool guy!”
Again, the man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink cautiously. Finally, when his nerves have cooled and he believes the voice is gone, he hears, “I bet your parents are really proud of you!”
He slams down his drink and looks around wildly. Frustrated and finding no possible source of the voice, he calls over the bartender. He says, “Hey barkeep! What’s that voice I keep hearing?”
“Oh, those are the peanuts,” the bartender replies. “They’re complimentary.”
x The dog is helping the man attract attention, but the cat is kind of over acting. pic.twitter.com/LErSVHTIV3 — jim rose circus (@jimrosecircus1) November 14, 2022
The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.” A time traveler walks into a bar.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
x A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what’s your blood type?”
“I’m probably a type O”, said the rabbit. — PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) November 12, 2022
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or Twist?"
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would have ducked.
So there was this dyslexic guy who walked into a bra.
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